"You smell like liquor," Namjoo commented turning around to place a bottle of soju in front of him. "You went out, didn't you?"
He watched her walk to the counter to unpack the takeout she'd brought with her and wondered why she wasn't taking the initiation to sit with him. Sehun sat there at her squared wooden table watching her move around. The soju became vague in his sight.
Sehun ran his eyes over her simple t-shirt and could see her body line. He wanted to hug her, hold her, and have her near. He pressed his lips together knowing he was unable to.
"Couldn't find the kill tonight?" she asked still standing by the counter.
"Not really..."
He hadn't been hunting. Sehun had just wanted some enjoyment, but he couldn't and it was her fault.
"So are you gonna drink that?" Namjoo finally turned around to nod her head toward the bottle.
"Oh....yea," he grabbed the bottle and twisted the cap open then he looked around blankly. "No cup?"
"You can have the whole thing."
Sehun blinked his eyes and looked at her then to the bottle.
"I was thinking," Namjoo said chewing the food in her mouth, "I'm going to cut back on my alcohol."
Her words seemed to be a surprise to him.
"I might move away if they can hire another manager," Namjoo continued, "I want to go somewhere else and start anew. Someplace far...like Daegu. Yea, Daegu sounds good. It's a big city too. Have you ever been to Daegu?"
Sehun felt his eyes bore into her. She couldn't go anywhere. What about him?
"Dae...Daegu?"
"Yea, Daegu," Namjoo repeated then nodded.
"Why though? Isn't your life good enough here?"
"Yea, it's been good," Namjoo nodded, "but don't you ever get that feeling that you want to go someplace new and just, I don't know, reform?"
No. Such thought had never occurred to a person like him. He was alone wherever he went, body and mind.
"My life is a mess right now," Namjoo explained, "and I can barely put anything back in order here."
"A mess?"
Namjoo nodded again and poked at her food, "I need to stop partying, drinking, and you know...sleeping with whoever. It's a lot harder than said."
"Not if you set your mind to it."
Namjoo slightly crossed her brows and pressed her lips together, "It's easier for you because you're a man, and you're good looking. When a girl makes a mistake she is shamed, but a man easily passes it off. See, that's society. I have too much pride to lose."
"Are you gonna drink that?" Namjoo asked again.
"Yea," he grabbed the bottle and turned to gulp it down never minding the bitterness burning the back of his throat.
When Namjoo closed the door on him later he found himself staring at it. Sehun wanted to be in there with her. His life was a mess too and so were his feelings. How could he have let his emotions get screwed just because of one night?
His mind was spinning and his legs were wobbly. His body slipped against the walls in the elevator and he thought about never seeing her again. The thought was unsettling.
After closing the car door after him he wrapped his arms around the steering wheel and leaned into it. He wouldn't be able to have her tonight, the day after, or the day after that. Thinking that had been useless.
