The Diary of a Bitch

It's the Fucking Weekend, Baby

Friday September 25, 2015

Fuck yeah, guys: Friday. Today's entry will be short, sorry... But I've decided to share another song with you guys. I don't think I'll do one everyday, just when I feel like I should. Today's song is "Jenny" by Nothing More. Last night, at counseling, therapy, whatever it is... Let's just call the woman I talk to "Ellen." (Totally not because I watched the show just a moment ago in Psych class.) Anyway, I told Ellen about Luke and the song, and she told me that sometimes the music people listen to shows what they're feeling deep inside. The song I chose today has been on repeat for me for a few weeks now, and I'm starting to wonder if it means something more- besides it being a badass jam.

At lunch today, Luke didn't seem very happy. I asked him what was wrong and he didn't answer so I decided to cheer him up with Game Grumps animations. He absolutely loves them. He laughed so hard at the Sleepy Safari Pokemon one that we had to watch the original video. He has such a dorky laugh... After, he showed me how to download the games to play on my phone! I'm so excited to play them.

As he was walking me to class, he finally noticed my sweater and asked me if I was hot. It's about 85 outside, and I was kinda sweaty, but I told him no. No, I'm fine. He frowned, but seemed to believe me. I can't let him find out. I'm finally making a friend again after a year of no one. He must be a new student this year.

Because I no longer have Internet at home, I won't be able to update my diary this weekend, so I suppose I'll just write an extra long one on Monday. I have no idea how people are reacting to this, or if anyone I know has found it... Do any of you even care? Am I just talking to myself? Hello?

***

"Jenny"

A little sleep, a little slumber
A little folding of the hands
Left you weak, left you hungry
When there's supply you still demand

You're beginning to drag the ones you love down
Will this phase ever end?
A thousand arms to hold you
But you won't reach for any hands 'cause

I don't feel like I'm
Getting through to you
Let me paint this clear
Life is short, my dear
See your mother here
Her last painful year
I wish you only knew
She stuck around for you
She stuck around for you

Maybe you should just fall
And leave the world and lose it all
And if that's what you need
To finally see
I'll be with you through it all

Bring on the pills, roll the dollar bill
Medicating will never heal
Relapse, rehab, repeat
Always thinking about the me, me, me

Self-destruct, spiral down
Until your want becomes your need
Please get up like I know you can
Or forever love the fall 'cause

I don't feel like I'm
Getting through to you
Let me paint this clear
Life is short, my dear
See your mother here
Her last painful year
I wish you only knew
She stuck around for you
She stuck around for you

Maybe you should just fall (just fall)
And leave the world and lose it all (leave the world and lose it all)
And if that's what you need
To finally see
I'll be with you through it all (I'll be with you through it all)

I can't stand to see you down
Strung out, off the wagon, and unwound
But steady, steady, oh God, Jenny, Jenny
I can't bear to hear the sound of your body, body
Hitting the ground

I can't stand to see you down
Strung out, off the wagon, and unwound
But steady, steady, Oh God, Jenny, Jenny
I can't bear to hear the sound of your body, body
Hitting the ground

Oh, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny

She stuck around for you
She stuck around for you
She stuck around for you

Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
If that's what you need to finally see
She loved you through it all​

Maybe you should just fall
Leave the world and lose it all
If that's what you need to finally see
She loved you through it all​
And I'll be with you through it all