After thoughts and choices

Together(?)

Gon's P.O.V
I smacked headfirst into the door, fell than opened it but... To my not so nice surprise, Killua wasn't there... My facial expression instantly changes from an over joyed face to a worry/doubting expression.. "Killua!! Was that really you?!" I tried calling out to him over and over but he wasn't anywhere near the testing gate... Was I going crazy for Killua?! I ask the gate guard I've met before if he saw Killua here, he says that he has! And that he saw where Killua ran to! I'm so ecstatic about this news, I run up and give the guard a hug before dashing off as fast as I could in the direction he guided me to, to find Killua!

Killua's P.O.V
Alluka is being stubborn and needy and Gon might have been knocked out from the blow to the face from the door/gate. "A-Alluka please... Don't make me do something like that... I-" I get cut off by her again saying "no. You care more about Gon than me. Why though, I'm y-your sister... Aren't I?!" She turn her tear stained face to me and I can't help but feel nothing but shame wash over me... I have to pick between my best friend/ the love of my life or the sister I have to protect and care for.... "I- I- Alluka it's not- This-" I can't think of any excuses so I end up stuttering like an idiot. I keep trying to comfort and think of lies to make Alluka better until I hear fast footsteps heading toward us, it's.. Gon! I can feel my face light up as the green-clad boy runs up to me and smothers me with a huge hug and snuggles his face into my chest. I can't help but begin to cry I'm so happy and he begins to cry as well. I can feel Alluka's rage and sadness build as Gon hugs me more and more. "G-Gon maybe later?" I try to ask but resistance is futile with him on me, figures.... Alluka gets up from her spot and heads back to the testing gate, I ask "why are you going back Alluka?" With the two seconds I have to breath before Gon is suffocating me with his tight grip. She says is a voice I can barely hear with "I'm going home... Oni-chan doesn't love me anymore.... So, I'm going back to Illumi...." I can only see a single tear roll down her cheek as she starts to walk back to the gate to presumably go home and train, or as I like to put it, suffer... I feel almost a tsunami of shame and regret wash over me, my face expresses it a little too well as I hear Gon say "Killua, are you ok? You don't look so good..." As he gets off me and on his knees with his hands in his lap while I struggle to get up from what felt like a hug from the hulk. "Y-yea I'm ok... I just..." I feel tears forming as I'm trying to look ok, of course it doesn't work and I end up crying over the constant repeating thought of 'I just lost the sister I actually was supposed to protect and love just because o f my heart...' I grip my chest and begin to hunch over as tears begin to roll down my face I can feel Gon embracing me with a warm feeling saying "I'm so sorry.." And I don't know how to respond with Gon apologizing for the liss of my sister who presumably was the one to separate us in the first place... Did Gon actually want us seperated? I can see my thoughts as daydreams or more "day/nightmares" of possibilities of how exactly this scenario went... What did he mean.... Exactly.,,