Escape the fate of falling in reverse

Chapter 6- Concerts

I was in my bathroom and I couldn't feel anything except a warmth spreading from my wrist where my new cut was it wasn't bleeding very bad anymore but I was dizzy this was the deepest I had ever cut and I had lost a lot of blood. I turned the sink on the cold water making me jerk my arm away but I forced myself to hold it under the running water. "Luna are you ok in there?" Mom asked knocking on the door. "Ya I'm find just cut my leg shaving I'm fine I will put a bandaid on it no big deal." I lied but my voice sounded pretty shakey. "Ok."She said and I heard her light footsteps going down the hall we were a small family all skinny and stopped growing at about 5'2 which was weird when I kissed Andy or Ronnie because Andy is 6'2 and Ronnie is 6 foot so its kind of hard. I poured alcahol over my wrist a d bit my found resisting the urge to scream this wee the worst part cleaning it up. I dabbed my wrist lightly with a red towl. Once it was cleaned up it wasn't that bad not bad enough to need stitches so it was fine. I threw my jacket on pulling the sleeves down and balking the ends up on my hand so it didn't come up accadently showing my cut. Most of the time I didn't have to worry about covering them usually when I black out like that I cut my stomach or the tops if my legs but not this time when I finally snapped out of it it was to late I had already cut them and I was just standing there holding the razor with blood dripping off my wrists into the sink.

When I got to the living room I stopped and sucked in a breath Andy was standing there right in the middle of the living room staring at me like it wasn't 12 o'clock at night. "Andy." I whispered and ran to hug him and he held me. "Your mom said you had locked yourself intbe bathroom and started screaming my name so I came over." He said and I could tell by the tone of his voice his name wasn't the name I was yelling and he knew what I had done. He glanced over at Addy asleep on the couch "Can we go to your room to talk about this?" He asked motioning to my wrists. "Ya." I said and turned pretty much running to my room. He closed my door and set down on my bed. "Luna I'm not stupid I know Ronnie was here lastnight." He said with a sigh. "Andy how how did you-" He put his hand up. "Its happening again Ronnie is stealing you but its not goin to work I know how you feel and how much you love him so I will let it go this time but your wrists I cant let that go Luna you said you wouldn't-" I cut him off. "I said I would try Andy I blacked out I didn't even know I was doing it until after I had done it." I said tears running down my face. He sighed and hugged me. "I know baby but I'm just scared that I'm going to lose you." He sighed. I just wanted to scream but I held it in and hugged him back trying to comfert him. "Baby I'm going to be fine." I promised. He just squeezed me tighter and didn't say anything. I laid down and he laid down with me but I was happy and let him stay there I needed someone I couldn't be alone. I curled up against him he wrapped his arm around me and kissed my head. I looked up at him and a wave of warmth spread across my body and I kissed him. "I love you." I whispered. "I live you to." He whispered back and after that not much happened we kissed a few more times and then went to sleep.

I woke up with Andy shaking me saying it was time to get up. I rubbed my eyes and rolled over "Its Saturday babe go back to sleep." I mumbled and my eyelids started to slip back closed but he shook me again. "I know what day it is but we have to get ready our busses leave in like three hours and we still have to get packed get ready and get there before they leave." He said pulling on my arm. I had totally forgot we were going on tour. "Ugh they cant go without there singer now can they?" I asked pulling him back into bed and I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled against his chest. He sighed and wiggled out of my grip. "I know but Kristin can get a new drummer so lets go." He said pulling on my arm again. "Ugh fine." I mumbled and got up. I grabbed my shirt off the floor and put it back on. "Well are you just going to stand there and stare at my tits or are you going to get ready?" I asked pulling my tanktop up a little so not as much boob was showing. He blinked and smiled "But they're so perfect." He said wrapping his arms abound my waist. "Oh so its now ok for us to stare at things if they're perfect because if that's the case then why do you get mad at me when I stare at your abs?" I asked flicking his stomach. He smiled "Because its creepy it makes me feel like your just another fan staring at my abs." He said. "And you think it doesn't feel like some creepy guy that's one of our fans haven't noticed my boobs before you said it yourself they're perfect." I said. "No your guy fans aren't allowed to look at your boobs." He said his eyes widening. I laughed. "Andy how do you expect me to stop them just be playing the drums then stop in the middle of a song and start yelling at some creepy 14 year old cuz he is looking at my boobs?" I asked putting my hands on my hips. "Ugh whatever just don't tell me about it." He said. "Ok and you don't tell me when creepy 14 year old girls look at your abs." I said grabbing my eyeliner. "Don't you need to take a shower first?" He asked. "No I took one last night before I........." I stopped and looked at my now scanned over cut on my wrist. He sighed and ran his finger over the scars making sure not to touch the newest one. "Why do you do it Luna?" He asked tears welling up in his eyes. I shrugged. "Stress Ronnie having to go to prison what made me start was in seventh grade when Brittney said it was my fault my dad killed himself and I should to." I confessed looking down. He put his finger under my chin and made me look up at him. "Its not your fault baby don't let her bother you." He said and hugged me and I just let go I started crying. "I cant do this anymore Andy." I said sniffing. "Don't give up on me Luna you can do it I know you can just think about your mom and Addy and Ronnie and Kristin and me we live you think about what it would do to us." He said. I sighed and started putting my make-up on. "I'm going to take a shower I'll be back in like five." He said and walked out kissing the top of my head. As soon as he closed the door I sat my eyeliner down and leaned against the cool glass of the mirror. I sat there for a couple of minutes but I heard the shower turn off so I sat up and quickley finished one eye. It looked good enough so I went to the other eye and started slowly and staedly lining the top lid with my liquid eyeliner.