Her Thoughts & Poems #nomorebullying

A Bully

"... Hey, I'm a bully named Freddy. I like bullying kids that are younger than me or lower than me. I like hurting kids that don't seem to like sports or anything like that, because they are easier to hit and bully. I like hitting them with all I got, showing them who's the boss, especially if they look weird or unordinary, which makes them a good target for me. Every day when I first go to school, most of the kids there seem a lot happier than me, smiling and being cheerful without any pressure in their life or worries of studying. The way they look at me first annoys me. I don't understand why but it just does, and the way they are also hurts me. I don't like how they look all happy with their friends. They all seem like any normal kids in high school, while me, well look at me.. not so happy apparently.. I try my hardest to be confident and all, but I can't seem to keep it up. When I show off my fist or make fun of others it kinda makes me feel better about myself, so it's like a good way to let my anger and pressure go away. I can laugh and tease, and everyone will laugh as well and tease then they give me a pat on my back and it gives me that good big boost of happiness before school ends and we say our goodbyes. The real horror starts for me right when I go back home. My family and I live in a small house. My mom is very busy with her jobs, and when she comes home she just orders for us fast food and we're done. She goes to bed while my dad sits on his couch and watches tv and drinks. He gets drunk so much to the point where the whole room reaks. He hates working so much, and he'd rather sit and chat on his computer or play those online games a lot. Once it's midnight my dad starts getting angry easily. If I'm sitting next to him he'll grab me by the neck and hold onto his bottle tight. Then he'll start hitting me with it, hitting my head, hitting my face and arms tons. If I yell he'll hold my mouth shut and beat me a lot. My mother doesn't know because she locks her bedroom door when she sleeps. Her and dad haven't really been doing well lately. When daylight breaks and the sun appears, she'll wake up and start yelling at him, fighting a lot with him, calling him those ugly names, and chucking his empty alcohol bottles at him right away. She'll pester him on how he never works for us and how all he does is sit at home and play games online. When that happens I take my stuff and run to school, because being there is much better than being at home. It's where I can do whatever I want and be like those cool men in action movies. I can be stronger than everyone else, even if it means some kids get hurt, because it is what I learned to do... "

Even bullies at times are victims that need help themselves. They lack the needed emotional empathy from their parents, so it gravely affects their well-being. Rather than being more connected to people and interacting well with them, they beat them, and hurt them, either out of jealousy or envy, sometimes because that's the only way they know how to show how they feel. If you were raised in an abusive environment yourself for your whole life with a lack of social support you would certainly struggle to understand how to interact with people too. If you were raised with a fist on your face, you will more likely approach others with a fist on their faces too. Spread the awareness with everyone as much as you can, and help people in need -- those that are getting bullied, and in some cases the bullies themselves, as sometimes they too need just as much help.

#nomorebullying