I will save you

Chapter 1: I miss you

Hiccup's POV

My hand caressed her soft, warm cheeks. A bright smile lit up her face as she giggled and snuggled closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer as I pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I love you, Astrid." I smiled at her as I brushed away the bangs from her ocean blue eyes, which sparkled in the sunlight that poured in from the open window.

Beaming with joy, Astrid moved her hands up to my cheeks and pulled me down for a deep and passionate kiss. As I was braiding my fingers in her hair to deepen the kiss, the lighting suddenly changed. Darkness loomed around us, and the warmth I had felt earlier had been replaced with a bitter cold that reached all the way into my bones.

Screaming and the clashing of cold steel filled my ears, and suddenly, I was back on the beach. Dagur's maniacal laughter rang through my head like bells of the apocalypse as the image of Astrid still on the ground, in a pool of her own blood, danced before my eyes.

"H-Hiccup?" I turned to Astrid and found her standing upright, an axe buried deep in her back as she stumbled in my direction, coughing up blood and sand as she called my name, over and over.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I cried out to her, only to realize that I couldn't make a sound. I began running in her direction, but the further I ran, the longer away she would be. I tried and tried, but kept on failing. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help her out of her misery.

I fell to my knees, wailing as I had to watch her cough and bleed, face contorted in pain as she kept on stumbling forwards, in a desperate search for me. It was heartbreaking, it was like watching her die all over again.

I couldn't save her, I couldn't save the love of my life.

My eyes shot up as heavy panting weighed me down. I slowly sat up in my bed and scanned the room around me, I was in my bedroom, not in the middle of a battlefield.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead as I rested my eyes on Toothless, who was sleeping soundly in his corner. I let my gaze travel to the other side of the bed, which was as empty as it had been since the last moon. I let out a sigh as I wrapped my arms around my legs and furrowed my brows. A whole month.

A soft coo broke through the silence of the room as I turned to Toothless, who was treading softly in my direction, as if he feared I would run away if he moved too fast.

I shot the dragon a weak smile, assuring him that it was alright for him to come over. The dragon let out yet another coo as he nudged my arm with his nose. I let out a short chuckle as I raised my hand and placed it on Toothless' head, moving it in circular motions.

I glanced out the window and found the sky a fiery orange and pink. I scratched Toothless behind his ear as he leaned his head towards my hand. A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. "What do you say we get some breakfast, bud?"

After a change of clothes and a quick trip to the outhouse, Toothless and I made it to our breakfast. Toothless ate fish, as always, slurping it up like there was no tomorrow, whilst I ...

I furrowed my brows as I stirred the porridge, watching the wooden spoon go round and round. I glanced over at the empty seat beside me, where she used to sit. I bit my lip as I tore my gaze away from the chair, trying my best to keep her out of my mind.

I shoved a spoonful of porridge into my mouth, but it was so bland. It didn't have any taste, it was just ... porridge. It had been like that ever since she ... left. Food just didn't taste the same, I ate just to keep myself alive, there was nothing more to it.

A screech could be heard from outside the house, and for a second, Toothless perked up, only to fall back down again as he realized it wasn't the screeching of his friend. After Astrid's funeral, Stormfly left Berk, which seemed to have made Toothless quite sad, as he hasn't been nearly as playful and energetic as he used to be.

I glanced over at the dragon, who had returned to his breakfast, my heart constricting as I felt some of the pain he was feeling. I pushed away the half-eaten porridge, lacking the strength to finish it. I just wasn't that hungry.

As my shoulders slumped and my body grew heavier, I glanced over at the front door, the same front door in which Astrid had walked in and out time and time again, the same door she had shut in my face, the same door where she had kissed me a thousand times. Again, my heart constricted painfully in my chest as I let out a deep sigh. Everything reminded me of her.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and before I even had the chance to answer, my mother marched in. A warm smile lit up her face as she shut the door behind her and sat down in the chair beside me, her chair. "Good Morning, Hiccup."

"Hi, mom." I replied, suddenly drained of energy as I lazily glanced up at her. She placed her hand on my arm.

"How are you feeling today, son?" My mother asked, the warm smile from before still on her face. I shrugged, sparing a glance over at Toothless, who had finished his breakfast and was making his way to the door.

"Fine." I lied, not really wanting to tell her how drained I felt at the moment. Ever since Astrid's funeral, my mother had been taking care of most things around the house. She had done the dishes for me, done my laundry, helped me change clothes, encouraged me to bathe, made dinner for me and taken Toothless out to stretch his wings. She had truly done an amazing job, and if she hadn't been around, I probably would be a big, stinking mess living in a mountain of trash.

My mother let her thumb glide over the back of my hand as she bent down to make eye contact with me. "Hiccup, I can tell that you aren't feeling to good, but the fact that you've managed to get up, get dressed and eat all by yourself is something you should be very proud of!"

I sighed. I was becoming a child all over again, constantly in desperate need for help with the most basic of things. Gods, was I happy that I had a supportive mother in the duration of a hard time like that. "Thanks, mom."

We sat in silence for a while. I was busy staring at the table, lost in my own thoughts, and my mother was looking at me, her thumb stroking the back of my hand in a show of support.

"Do you need to cry?" She asked me after a while, tilting her head to the side.

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

"Are you sure?" She moved her hand to my shoulder.

And for some reason, my tear ducts just opened, releasing a week's worth of un-cried  tears as my body was wracked with sobs. As tears streamed down my cheeks, my mother wrapped her arms around my shoulders, leaning her head against the side of mine as she just held me.

My mother's hand ran across my head as she softly stroked my hair with me I clinging to her like I had turned back into a baby. "It's going to be alright, son, it's going to be alright."