All I am (Completed)

Balance is...

"Meet me at the demons view." I sent a silent request after I thought about all that happened within the past few weeks.

I waited at the demons view until the sky turned greenish yellow. A moment later, I sensed that he arrived.

"Jesus Christ." I exclamed when I saw him walk up to me.

He sat beside me and took a look at the view.

"Genaaii."

I was a bit surprised that he knew my heavenly name but it was about time that he remembered. When I was expelled from heaven, the memory of me was wiped from every creature.

"You remember."

"Not really. The energy from the argument between you and god dragged my memory."

"Hmm." I sat in silence and watched the sky change colors.

"Just that you were lonely?"

"What?"

"Why did you leave Hel?"

"It's complicated."

"I have nothing but time."

I inhaled and thought about where exactly to start.

"No. That wasn't the only reason. I guess I was depressed because I have other thoughts than what god would allow any angel to think. I was the only one."

Jesus just sat and listened intently to every word I had to say.

"I um," I looked down and swallowed my pride, "I couldn't silence what was in my head."

"You were a perfect being, what do you mean?"

"No. You were the perfect being. I was the defect. I was scared to be alone but I was scared to get close to other angels. I didn't want to leave heaven with no where to go, which us why I incited to the creation of humans. And with enough courage, I took a serpents form and went to earth."

"You knew that you were betraying god and did it any ways?"

"Yes." I replied sadly.

We sat in silence and I thought about the voices that were I'm my head.

I long for that feeling to not feel at all. My all time high feels like an all time low. My thoughts jumble and my words clump together. No one knew I was the defect.

"I knew I was the defect."

"Helania. We are more alike than you think."

"Ha!" I laughed.

"No. I'm serious."

"How? You were his first perfected creation."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"Yea. I know."

"Didn't you think about how can a divine being have a son that can live in the underworld, least to say, hell and not be detected as a divine being?"

"I did. I still don't get it."

Getting up, he held out his hand to help me up. As I took his hand, he said something that made me think about him a bit more.

"We all have secrets Hel, I guess either I'm a defect or god just isn't good at creating."