Sacred Pro | Capital STEEZ Story

SILENCE

I sat back in the chair as I waited for him to walk out. He was improving really fast and I was incredibly proud of him. It was a wonder. I smiled at the thought of me telling the Pros and Steez's family that Steez had woken up. They all immediately hugged each other and thanked God. Cries of joy invaded their faces instead of cries of unhappiness. The look on his moms face was priceless, so beautiful to see. She thought she lost a son, and when he turned out to be alive – man, ain't that something. The Pros were so glad, so happy. They made all sure not to bombard him with tons of questions and rants because he was too weak to take it all in one time. We were all sure we were going to talk to him about it to make sure he won't ever do it again and if he has one single thought of it, he has to tell us. Whether he wants it or not, we need to know whenever he's feeling like that. The door opened and Steez walked out with his jacket on. He shook hands with the nurse and he thanked her. He walked my way, a small smile playing on his lips. I stood up and hugged him. "Ready to go?" I asked. He nodded and we made our way out of the miserable place.

The Pros didn't know I was going to visit Steez, I was going to go to the studio with him after in hope to surprise the Pros a little. I opened the door with the key and walked in, glancing around to make sure they were in the studio. I nodded at Steez to give him a confirmation of them being present and walked in.

"Hey guys." I said as I smiled at them. They were not doing anything, they probably still felt bad even though Steez was alive, it isn't something you can forget in a couple days. "Cheer up a bit, guys." Steez said as he walked in. I almost got emotional by the sight of this reunion. The Pros faces lightened up and they all ran up to Steez, hugging him tightly. I closed my eyes briefly as I smiled at the sight. "You're here bro." Joey said, his voice muffled by Steez's jacket. Steez patted his back as he wore a sad expression.

I knew he was emotional too, I felt it. He didn't want us to go through this, he didn't know this is how we would respond. When you're depressed, it's actually the last thing you think about – how others feel about you when you're gone. "We love you man." Kirk said as he hugged Steez. Steez nodded and pressed his lips together. He was way more affected by the way all the Pros were showing love. They really needed him. "We couldn't be here without you man – you are Pro Era, you made us who we are today. You the head honcho man. We can't be anything without you, you know that." Joey spoke as he saluted Steez and hugged him again. After they all hugged and said their encouraging words to Steez, Steez was the one to speak up. "I'm sorry guys. I really am – I swear." He said as he chuckled humorlessly, a way to cover up his true feelings. "Y'all are my bros. I never knew y'all would respond like this man – I mean, I didn't even think of it. I was just being selfish and was caught up in my own negative feelings man. Depression is a bitch. Ion even know if it's just that." "What you mean just that?" Rey asked.

Steez shrugged, "I mean – I thought if I'd ascend on the 47th, which was on the 23rd of December this year, I'd become a god and return in 2047. Sadly enough, many say it's not true and the – the doctor said I have a light form of schizophrenia." He said. I frowned at the news. "It's nothing bad or deadly – well it's pretty bad. But yeah the weed makes it worse, the nurse said. So I gotta find another addiction. I mean – I'll go to therapy and shit for it and be healthy to reduce it but yeah, suicide was the solution to me. I'm confused by this whole situation, to be honest with y'all. I don't believe in all these diseases and all the shit that comes up with it. I just think the bad energy got the best of me and kind of suffocated me in a way. I thought the only way to get out was.. you know, to like.. jump." He spoke sadly. "Suicide is never the answer bro, keep that in mind. We appreciate you and love you. You don't have to apologize or anything else, we're happy to have you here with us as a part of us, as a friend and brother. We glad you're here man." Joey spoke. "Thanks man, really." Steez said. "So yeah, I gotta fix that problem and when I'm fixed, I'll get back to music and shit 'cuz I can't be stressing and all that." He explained. We all nodded. "I'm glad you're still here bro – damn. Just the thought of not having you around is eating me up." Rey spoke as he stared at the ground. "I apologize, I don't know what came into me man. Now thinking of suicide – it scares me. But back then – I had it all planned out, I wanted to, so bad. I was looking out for that day and yeah, I just went. I'm glad I'm still here too, though. I now know how many people really love me, you know, I didn't realize it back then, at least not enough." He spoke.