An Innocent Mistake (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 19

The ensuing afternoon, Ragenite rummages in her finely patched sewn bag, which displays her dexterity in working with fabrics and using them to create bags and useful garments. But that particular item, surfaces that it has seen tough times. Perhaps, due to her frequent use.
She burrows in among her other personal things to find her important belonging. I can't reckon what has been keep nagging her and wouldn't surrender playing hide and seek. As more she looked for it, the growing indignation boiled her expression. She seemingly couldn't bear not finding what she expected.
At last, she tossed the bag in vexation and it went swerving to the floor. Half of her things came out of the bag, which would include the old looking wallet, with a broken zip, dimes and nickels but surprisingly no penny, a comb, a folded paper and lastly what could be guessed was a photograph of a little girl, wearing a uniformed smile, pinching dimples in her freckled cheeks. I walked closer to take a better view of the photograph, which sparked my curiosity.
The face was so young, that imagining old was hard. An ingenious face pricked ideas of a happy childhood. Perhaps replacing the notions was easier by looking at it than to think of conflicts threaded behind a pretended smile. Though from any way I couldn't tell it was Ragenite, but I knew it was her. Otherwise she hadn't talked about her younger siblings. If she had any or not, it wasn't a big matter for her. She wouldn't probably remember anyone, either due to her age, or hatred.
She went and sat on the chair, mournfully, like she was soon going to be killed by a bubonic plague. Or it may have been worse. I quietly stood where I was, mapping the reason. Her face in her hands curtained the true emotions from revealing out. A likely muffled sounded from the gagged mouth, conveying the conflict but I couldn't make out anything, except the fact she was very sad.
I ventured and as keeping myself under the same tone, opened my mouth.
"Ragenite, is everything okay?" I asked.
There was quite no response as if she wanted to me away. I deadly stared at her, speechless that saliva collected behind the sealed lips. Every move of mine was deeply carved in uncertainty, afraid of what it would bring. I filled my lungs and heaved a sigh, making it sound like whistling breeze of cold winter in the utmost silence.
As I found the moment, paddling in vain, I questioned again, directly hoping for a response this time. Then it did happened.
Ragenite looked up to me and I looked back to her.
"I have used everything." The first line came out as a spreading mystery.
"What have you used?" I said.
"Money. The living. I got none now. Everything I have is used up for food. There is nothing left." There was a sense of regret in her voice that I felt was arrowing me. Could I have been the source of wasting money. It was hard to explain through the way she gave me stares. Awkward. Slightly insane.
"Oh, I see." I said and then thought. "Where did you get your used up money from? I haven't seen you working."
Giving a pause to that awkward moment, she drifted away her sight. "I have grown too hideous to work at any place good, where they treat me like a kind human. I am a nightmare to them. So I once in a while garden people's front yards. Everything left for me is the hard work. Probably this will rip out one day as I am digging my own grave." She said looking at her hands gloomily.
I realized that poor Ragenite had encountered many tough problems that were nearly ineffable.
I used to think that as you grow up, your heart changes and emotions are replaced with mature ones. But what could be told about her personal desire. She must have wished for so many good things. And yet neither of them offered her comfort.
I sticked by the chair and looked to her with even surprise.
"Maybe you are simply too old to work that needs thinking, I mean- you know?" I left the point trailing before my tongue. But Ragenite barely noticed to what was I trying to say. She didn't felt giving much importance.
"My child, when you grow up you know what rest of the life is been waiting to give you. All it has is just tons of responsibility and work. But my whole life has been defined in that."
Every other time, the courage mustered up in her she would use that to explain the reality of hardship and unpleasant experiences. To all the farthest distances, she patted her way with those two hands.
"I am gonna have to go and find work in the neighborhood."
She scrambled out of the chair and disappeared into her room, as usual closing the door.
I was left standing by the chair, not able to shake out from the forming thoughts what Ragenite was going to do. Due to that, I pressured the wooden chair with my leaning arm, believing I could stand there forever. But my feet were grounded fluttering light on the floorboard that they experienced kindness from me.
If Ragenite was going to go work in the neighborhood, then am I going to stay home alone. And what time she will return. Probably late evening when I am nearly huddled into the sheets, and the evil spirit creeping me to death.
I vibrated in horror.
When after a while, Ragenite came out with a small burlap bag, which encumbered her right arm, and yanked the door close. The sharp edge of an object was visible as it curved a shape inside the bag. I didn't guess what it exactly was.
"I am going and you may come with me too."
A relief crossed my heart, and without wasting a second reformed my posture to head out with her.
"Would we go far like that forest?" I asked, consciously bringing back the recent memory.
"Not far this time, but away from these streets. People know me here and it would be an insult."
Did they even knew that Ragenite was haunted too? I thought.
We bobbed down the street, nearly nudging each other with every other step. I slightly felt more closer to Ragenite than she was to me. As we began advancing to the coming block, I side stepped tiny bit to be away from her lingering body.
Ahead, the new line of houses approach. Most of the front yards were manicured and spoke of great deal of attention from their owners. As Ragenite raised an eye to search for the work, they as briskly ran back to her saying, 'there isn't much to do.' To lend her a hand, I casted wide glances to where ever patch of green land appeared, with hedges protecting the property from an outsider.
"Do you think anybody will allow you to garden their yard?"
"I am not a master of knowing the future, but I believe there is someone who needs me."
Our tapping of the shoes played a beat through Ragenite's conversation, well accompanying her voice.
"Don't you know anyone who can keep you forever?"
"No."
"Then it's really hard."
"Yes."
A pause held the way until we come up finding one of the house. From looking at the yard, I thought it needed some work done. We coursed up to the front of the house, reaching to the doorbell and peacefully waited for the response.
Then finally someone popped opened the door, it was a lady whom wore a weary look as if she was coming out of her bed.
"Yes?" She rubbed her eyes to see who dared to bother her.
Ragenite was seen tossing away the nervousness and climbing out of the dark pit, which previously discouraged her of being rejected.
More slowly the words were pronounced the more she was able to enroll in a good starting conversation.
"Hi. I am Ragenite. As I was going by I saw your front yard needed some attention. I can garden it and and plant new flowers to make it beautiful." She broke a smile.
The lady simply dug a glare on our faces, as if she was about to murder us. Tension intensified in her large eyes, that she continued on without a disturbance of blink.
"Are you kidding me? Get out of my face!" The lady scorned. "Get out of my property!"
Ragenite was aback in aghast. She was shaken heart-breaking attitude. She turned around without a word, dispirited, and clambered down the door steps. "Wonder where these nasty people come from." The lady muttered under her breath, while we were scraping our presence off from her land. It was out of question to even look back to her. And imagining what would she do if we did. Probably take out the shoes and hurtle on our backs.
In condolence I placed my arm around Ragenite's shoulders and said, "That was extremely mean, Ragenite. She shouldn't have done that. At least she could have looked at you."
Her body was so soft that I felt like I was touching her skeletal figure. She appeared to bawl her eyes in sudden rejection, which seemed to tear her apart from the core.
"For a while I felt like I was young back again. When my mother would yell at me for breaking her precious plates." Her voice was drowning in the deep pain and wept tears. She mostly sounded like she was blubbering. Looking at her, tore my heart too. A sense of mercy shrouded my emotions on her that I instantly wished I could expel all the throbbing memories from her past. Whatever that made her vulnerable and a beaten old hag.
"Let's go. People here seem cranky and stupid." I said.
"What if someone else does the same thing? I am afraid." She said.
"This time I'll try to speak to the, if not, we will go back home."
Ragenite mopped her tears and cleared her throat, which was messed up from crying.
"That home isn't a home if there is no money. I will beg for it, if I don't find a work."
I was blanched from hearing that, that how much this old lady was willing to do worse. Begging then is worst of all, showing how useless you are that you barely earn a little.
"Don't beg, Ragenite. I will be very heart-broken."
She quietly listened but didn't speak. I knew she had something going on in her mind that she wouldn't share with me.
Finding another house, we stood in a distance from the door, afraid from the last time.
Ragenite hesitated to go forward, to press the bell like a teenager girl who came home late breaking the rule and was uncertain of the consequences. I made her go forward as she asked for my decision in my still eyes. But the result was unlike. Despite saying yes in silence, she wouldn't risk. So I talked to her hazel eyes, while our mouths were sewn close, and said, I will do it. Then I went ahead making a perfect reach to the doorbell and backed away to my spot, holding my hands together in a slight growing worry. And looking to Ragenite added more to it.
Not longer after that the door parted from the frame and through the space, there was no one seen, as if the door was blown open from an untouchable wind. But no breeze crossed us.
We were quiet as we had been and watched for someone to show up. Just then a small figure, with flaxen hair, and very pale skin that it seemed like somebody had dumped him in a sack of white flour. His wheat golden eyelashes blinked, lastly staying up to see who was at his door. But the frown from earlier event was still shaping his thin lips, that I could barely see the redness.
He simply stared at us like he waited for us to speak. Me and Ragenite then exchanged glances.
"Hey there little boy." Ragenite said, unknown by his name. "You have someone in the house?"
But he gave us strange gazes like we were monsters. To diminish this mystery between us, I gave him a honey glazed smile that often eased a little child.
"Hey, there. This is Bethany." I extended my hand for him to shake.
It had taken him awhile and after that he hopped into a mood like he knew me for so long. He came forward to shake my hand in a warm friendly manner that a smile cracked to his face, bringing a glint in his pearl eyes.
"Hi. I am-." He was intercepted by a woman who appeared to be his mother.
"Who is it, Cole?" She stood behind the boy whose name was revealed by his mother. When she suddenly saw us at the door, she widened her eyes, with questions. "Yes? How may I help you?"
"Umm!" Ragenite raised her voiced from my side. "I am Ragenite and I garden people's yard. I am looking for work."
The lady held Cole in and stepped up to the front to the face the talk. At first, she was fuming hints like that cranky lady we met.
"Alright. That's nice." She said.
"We were going by and saw your garden needed some work so-" Ragenite's upcoming words were dissolved in the thin air.
"Oh, I see. Well I guess that does need some work. We had our personal gardener who moved away month ago because of some urgent reason to a different state I believe. "
"Uh-huh."
"Perhaps you can touch your professional hands to this greenery through it isn't as big." She chuckled.
Ragenite looked over to the yard, gleaming at the fortune. The grueling trouble was swept off like rain wetting sparse land.
"Thank you, madam. I am very happy." She could have bowed to fulfill the left formality.
Cole the little boy was shoved aside for a while. But from the corner he thoughtfully watched the talk occur and kept quiet like he was extracting clues. But most of the confusion stretched in his features, trying to make sense of the big words of big people.
"Are you gonna start today?" the lady asked.
"I can't wait. Today looks nicer and I have my stuff with me."
Ragenite fixed the position of the bag dangling from her hand which nearly ripped her dry skin. "I will start right now."
The lady gave us a pleasant smile to raise the familiarity. There was that extra sweetness that dripped from her small squinted eyes polishing her appearance. I knew if she would talk to us some more we would soon be great friends. Then she went in for some reason and Cole was abandoned with me.
He slowly stepped out as I looked at him.
"How old are you,Cole?" I asked.
"Mommy says I am five and half years old."
"Hmmm! " I sniffed in a good air and saw Ragenite all pumped up to do the work like she was daily worker looking forward to have increased wage. But I wondered how much she capable of doing this job, despite the skill she claimed. "So what were you doing right now?" Bending down to my knees.
"I was watching Phineas and Ferb."
"What is that?"
He looked passed me maybe to the houses across the road and laid his thoughts there. As he talked his were matching to my background. "Phineas and Ferb are fun boys. I want to be like them."
Since I don't watch that show, I was partly bewildered about what he was saying. But I shook my thoughts and hooked back to my height.
"Do you play? Actually tell me what's your favorite game?"
"I like to play tag."
"Me too. High five." I gave him a high five. His cute fingers clapped my palm rather than to my fingers. "Let's play."
"But Hannah likes to play too."
"Who is she?"
"My big sister."
I said, oh, in my heart, wondering where she was and how big she would be. Maybe my age or older or younger I wanted to meet that girl whose name was Hannah. She might be friendly and we can be friends.
"Where is she?"
"She is inside. She is helping mommy."
I gave him another short grin and said. "Are you gonna play with me? Remember tag?"
Hearing that, Cole started jumping in excitement, clapping palms childishly.
He came out in the front yard and counted up to the counting he knew and I ran away from him. Ragenite saw what we were doing as Cole chased my back. He was keep going round and round but wasn't near to catching me. I realized I was running fast for child though he carried to his full speed. His mouth was open and laugh was spilling out along with breathing hard.
Then that lady came out to check on us if we were doing the right thing. Her long skirt inflated with air as she attempted to briskly walk to Ragenite. She talked to her about something related to gardening. My ears were open while I spent my time with Cole.
Just seconds after, a girl popped out of the opened door, having bits of surprise to her face. She might be wondering that who were we, but beside that I felt she was pretty, rouged cheeks blonde swept back in a ribboned ponytail. I watched her tomato red lips smoothly grinning. She ambled to her mom and got her attention by saying, "Mom." And her mother looked, saying "What is it?"
Standing there watching the girl, got me realized later that I was playing with Cole and he had tagged me. Cheering for the win.
"No, you got me, Cole." I made him happy. "Now I am gonna run after you. Go and I will count." I knew it would be easy to catch so I planned to hold my pace.
Running after Cole didn't distract my attention from the girl. Constantly staring at her slowed my pace even more. At some of the moment I was building an urge to go and introduce myself to her.
"Cole, wait." I feigned that I was really tired and I couldn't run much. As he halted going merry-go-round and approached me, I increased the sound of breathing. "I am really tired, can we wait?"
He nodded, adorably. And sat next to me folding his legs into tiny lap that it could only hold a doll.
Suddenly he erupted to tell me something. "Hannah is here. She is not helping mommy anymore." Then he screamed, "Hannah! Come here!"
Hannah looked in our direction and screamed back,"What you doing?" She aimed towards us.
"I am playing."
"No you are not. You are sitting." She came by.
"We were," I answered appropriately.
"Oh. " she first said. "Are you new here?" Then asked.
"Umm, no. But my name is Bethany what's your?" I curiously dug into more words. Even though I knew what was her name.
"Hannah. Do you you that lady over there?" A grim look crossed her face like she was looking at some gnarly creature. But I was well aware of the reason.
"Yeah. She is my friend. Did you talk to her?"
"No."
"I know she is old. But it doesn't matter to me, she is although nice to me." I chuckled on the last few words that deserved to settle a positive meaning.
Unexpectedly, she altered to a better attitude so to have a amiable reflection.
"So what are you guys playing? You maybe tired."
"No I am not, Bethany is." Cole called out, stressing my weakness which wasn't a big deal.
"You run so fast,Cole. That's why I got tired." I sounded like an adult.
In all the talking I forgot to pick on what Ragenite was doing. I saw her burrowing like a mole and piling the dark brown dirt next to her. I couldn't properly see the hole but inferred that it must have been slightly deep due to the height of the pile. Every struggle of hers added more to it.
Me, and Cole were sparked with energy to play tag again this time with Hannah. She melted into our idea to become it and we would run. Although we played but the chances of direct interaction between me and Hannah were always less. It would either be that playful soul recklessly running to save from the catch who sometimes brought excuses to bring us closer. Hannah seemed to be quiet shy that's why she talked less. But I was on the other hand occupied with questions to blurt out on her face, which wasn't a good idea.
"Cole, stop! " Hannah yelled holding her knees. But I stopped to the call before the words commuted to Cole's ears. "Stop. Boy you're like Cheetah. Bethany was right. Now I am not playing anymore. Let's sit."
"No, I wanna play. It was so much fun." Cole whined. I walked to Hannah as Cole dragged sweeping complaints with him. "You guys are so boring." He said.
We ended up sitting on the grass and I was happy that we talked. Hannah was a nice, lovely girl, who mostly reminded me of Julia. Who once would find something to talk about, she wouldn't stop until I would start talking about haphazardly. The she would laugh off to let her fault swim by in the creek like not caring. That was the best thing about her. She never made big deal out of anything unless she truly took something to her heart. But there weren't many times like that.
I wondered how her life would have been like now without me. Who walked with her in my place to way home on those same streets that were stapled to my mind. No one could ever threaten us to forget our beautiful past. Her lovely, unique personality was enough to make me believe in our bond, that was unbreakable.
I was truly missing her and that's why I was eager to talk to Hannah.
"Bethany!" Ragenite's voice knocked the bubble." We're going home."
Then Cole's gleeful face flopped. He lowered his head seeing me get up. In spite of his mood, I walked away not thinking to look back. But suddenly after I reached Ragenite, I heard. "Bethany, can you stay little bit more?"
His mother was near by to hear that. She turned around startled and looked at Cole, lowly coming up to me.
"No,sweetie. Bethany gotta go home. She is gonna be late." His mother responded.
"But little bit more. She is so much fun." He began to insist.
"Cole... She's gotta go. She doesn't live here and look she is tired of running. Aren't you?" She winked to tell yes and so I did.
"Let's go, Bethany, otherwise we are going to be late. Thank you, madam for giving me work." In one hand Ragenite carried the heavy burlap bag while the other seized my wrist forcefully in a manner of pulling me home. Tone gripped her words as the work was done and nothing else mattered beside her business. " I shall be going home. Farewell everyone and have a great evening." As she said that, she pulled me with my hand nearly tripping me.
I considered looking back at Cole, who had started crying. He was very upset at me leave. His mother buried his face against her while a concern hung to her like she was thinking of something before it got late.
My instincts were about to proven right when a call chased us and we came to a halt. Ragenite spun the attention back. She froze dramatically until something else would carry her.
"Bethany, can you wait?" The lady said.
Ragenite's hand tightened even more, limiting the option to let me go. I tried to break through her grasp and punched the irritation to her face.
"What is it, ma,am?" I asked reaching her.
Cole was weeping against her. She patted to quiet him, while it made no effect. "I wanted to say that you are a very good girl that Cole became attached to you so fast, as he hasn't been so far with this sister. You know what I mean. So will you be able to come tomorrow?"
"Me, tomorrow?! " I glimpsed back at Ragenite anxiously. Would she let me? "I don't know if Ragenite will let me." Still hung in the thought.
Seconds hadn't pass properly that Ragenite was tugged by our talk. She was more curious in knowing the problem.
"What's the matter, madam? Is everything alright?" She asked immediately without wasting a second.
"Umm. I was thinking about keeping Bethany for babysitting. She is very well at pampering kids and I appreciate that skill of hers. Cole hasn't started school yet, and I feel she can teach him a lot. I hope there is no problem in that." The lady sweetly requested.
Ragenite seemed to be taking more than a while to speak up the decision. We gazed at her until her lips motioned. "I am afraid, madam. I don't let her go anywhere."
"But, Ragenite trust me she is safe here. And at last Cole has become so attached to her. She is capable of treating him so well that-"
I fiddled with my fingers feeling jittery of what Ragenite was going to say next. She wasn't trusted to a single positive word.
"Sorry, madam." Her last words.
🔶
At one corner of the room on the sofa, Ragenite avidly counted the money she earned from gardening though she hadn't completed the job after some digging and planting new seeds. The gleam in her eyes was something to look at. Concoction of emotions were rousing to her very face, that money had made her crazy or contend was hard to tell.
Once she finished with one round of counting, she fervently counted again.
Night slowly writhed outside and lights were burning to prevent the wrapping darkness. The noiseless place accentuated the chirping sound of cricket and my knuckles beat against the table surface.
All along that I was thinking about babysitting. After all it wasn't bad to spend sometime at their house especially when you are earning money at the same time, then why couldn't Ragenite agree on a good opportunity. It was possible that she didn't consider it carefully.
I glanced at her consistently flipping through the crispy bills.
"You know what. I should babysit Cole. It's not bad as you think." I loudly possessed my statement.
"What are you talking about? Are you crazy, young girl?"
I wasn't affected by that, it was as if I was resistant to them.
I got up and went to her talk it the serious way.
"Remember what you said earlier, that this house isn't a house if there is no money, then think about this."
She hid her money which were flattering her, like I would snatch them of her hand, they were ever precious to her.
"What do you mean? I don't understand." She said.
"So if I babysit I will get money and you don't have to work."
I let the quietness travel in between so she gives it some thoughts. Instead her eyes widened luminously as an idea contributed her better in understanding.
"You will get lots of money?"
"Not really. But still good enough."
"And will it be yours?" The interest was building in her.
"Yes because I work just like you work and it's your money." I stated it clearly.
"Then you wouldn't do good with those money if it stays with you. I think I can take better care of it."
The hints in her words were slowly revealing her purpose. I knew that money was making her say that, but I kept my ideas hidden inside of me.
"I can take care of it. Promise I won't waste them."
"But, my child, I am your adult and I can keep them even safe than a kid like you."
I didn't want to give what was mine. She was being unfair."Okay." I said, unhappily. "You can have them." And if I didn't allow her to take my money she would not probably let me babysit.
The shine her eyes radiated the whole room like Summer's sunniest day. She didn't seem to carry any trouble nor doubts on the verge of a cliff.