run of the mill.

13th

Her head hurt. Beyonce woke up but before she could even open her eyes she registered how much her head hurt. It wasn't, thank God, a throbbing pain, but it wasn't the normal calm feeling she had every other day. She reached a hand to touch it and winced at the pain of having to move. Her arm was heavier that it usually was and she supposed she was just too damn tired to give a damn. Her body felt numb like it would take a lot of energy got her to do anything and that was a problem because if she remembered correctly, she had a Political Science class to go to.

Everything was foreign to her. This didn't smell like her room. This bed didn't feel like her bed. It was harder and bigger. Not like the soft little twin she slept on with the scent of melon and cucumbers on her pillow. Beyonce opened her eyes as much as the light in the room would allow her. She glanced around. The simple light that told her it was morning reflected around the room. Beyonce recognized it after a while. This was Shawn's room. T had told her to stay the ni-.....

Oh shit.

Beyonce closed her eyes really tight and turned her head as slow as she could to the other side of the bed. She was hoping that who she thought was suppose to be there wasn't there.

Shawn lay next to her very much asleep on his stomach.

"Oh shit," she said to herself. She slapped her forehead and then whined in pain at her stupid mistake.

Shawn's head sprang up as though he had just been dashed with cold water. Beyonce's declaration had woke him up. Beyonce watched him register who she was. Her heart stopped as she waited for his response. She could only imagine how he would react.

Shawn looked at her through the sleep in his eyes that Beyonce thought was so cute. It was totally inappropriate right then but she couldn't help it. "Sup Bey," he greeted and turned his head toward the wall. Not even seconds later his head flew back to her. He looked over her and Beyonce realized that she was naked all the way down to just above the mound that was her feminine parts. She gasped a little and pulled the sheet to her chest while Shawn mumbled something she didn't understand.

Neither of them said anything for a while. There was the distinct sound of people milling about in the hall and minding their own business. Beyonce didn't even look at him. Instead she stared up at the ceiling hoping that she would wake up in her room in a second and this would all just be some dream. Another one of those steamy dreams she had been having about some of the men she encountered during her days.

She heard some rustling and she looked over at Shawn. He turned onto his back and lay down, not bothering to hide his torso. He was an athlete. Showing his body during those hard practices when his coach just chose to make then run was routine. He inhaled like he was getting ready to say something but instead he simply bit his lip. Then he inhaled again and still said nothing.

It was starting to wreak havoc on her nerves. Beyonce had to say something. So she blurted whatever came to mind. "Good morning."

"...Morning," he said after a while. He had no choice. It was all he could think to say also. There were so many things that should have been said but he stayed silent. For a while anyway, until the questions along with her quiet breathing beside him started to eat away at his insides. "We had sex."

Beyonce nodded and cleared her throat for no reason. "Y-yeah."

"..."

"..."

Finally Beyonce looked at him. She needed to get her head together but she couldn't do it while this man, her best friend, lay naked next to her. She had to get away. She had to go. "I-I should go."

Shawn touched his forehead and thought. He knew that that was not the brightest idea; for her to leave with so much unsaid. He could only imagine what would happen inside of her head while they were apart. No, it was best if they stayed and talked all of this through. He figured it would be best to just clear the air and come to grips about what happened last night so that there was no confusion.

"Ok."

That was not what he had rehearsed in his head. That was nowhere near what he had in mind. That was a one night stands response. He was a friend. A good friend. A best friend. What the fuck was he thinking?

Beyonce nodded to herself. He watched her sit up and take the sheet with her, trying to cover what he had already seen in great detail. And even with all he had on his mind, he still felt himself stir at how good it was and what her tight little body looked like with nothing on it. Nothing but nail polish and jewelry.

Beyonce stuffed the sheet around her as best she could and then stood when she was sure that she was covered. She swayed, moaned in what Shawn thought was surprise or pain, and clutched her head.

He was naked but never ashamed. He asked her if she was ok. Beyonce nodded and didn't look at him. Instead she started taking slow steps to the clothing she had on last night. Shawn scooted to the edge of the bed and grabbed his boxers. He slid them up his legs and didn't bother to find anything else he had on. This was enough. It was how he spent the majority of his time alone; in his boxers. He watched Beyonce pick up her cheap little costume and sigh. She moved stiffly as though she was uncomfortable and Shawn could only guess what she had to be feeling like.

"Here," he said standing himself. His head gave way and he winced at the abrupt nature of his movements. "L-let me give you something to wear home. It's too cold for that." He crossed to his dress and opened his drawers. All he had was jeans and basketball shorts. He needed sweatpants for occasions like these. Drawstring sweatpants.

He found the only pair of drawstring sweats he owned, his high school basketball sweats. They were gray and had his name printed down the sides in big letters. He handed the sweats to her and went to his closet. "Here's a jacket." He tossed his maroon and gold letterman's to her and she caught it effortlessly.

Beyonce picked up her thin undershirt that she had on underneath her costume and looked around awkwardly. "Um," she said touching her tasseled hair. "I..."

Shawn took a moment to realize what she was trying to say. But when he did he hurried to comply. "Oh right," he backed into the closet and closed the door while she changed. Showing your body is so much more personal when you're sober, Shawn concluded. Well for a woman anyway.

He knocked on the closed door and then peaked out. She had just thrown the large jacket over her shoulders and was pushing her fingers through her hair. "I'm leaving. Thanks for..." she had so many things she could put there. She winced and tried to grin. "... the clothes."

Beyonce didn't bother with her shoes. Her standing was making her head hurt more than it was suppose to and she needed to be horizontal for a while. Besides, she could see this situation wasn't going anywhere. "Bye," she mumbled as she walked towards the door.

Shawn walked behind her and she swung the door open.

There was a hallway full of men. It was much like her hall on any given morning. Except they were males and she had a terrible secret. A few noticed her, did double takes when they took in the scene; sexy, most wanted Beyonce leaving Shawn's room with his clothes on, disturbed hair and makeup, and clutching her previous nights clothing. And there was, of course, Shawn standing behind her in his boxers looking nervous and content as all get out.

And then a few more people noticed. And then one or two stopped and stared. And then a few gasped and fell silent. But the whispers were just loud enough for the two of them to hear.

"Look at that yo..."

"Is that Beyonce?"

"I knew he was hittin' that."

"Bet she a good fuck."

"Right," Shawn said behind her. Beyonce turned from the faces and looked at him.

"Right."

Beyonce waited a second for something else to happen and when nothing did she smiled awkwardly. The quiet around them was starting to piss her off. "Ok bye."

She turned on her heels and marched down the hall, brushing hair behind her ear and squeezing past guys who she knew where thinking about her and Shawn. Goodness knows what they were thinking. She didn't even want to know. She ducked through the crowd and mumbled a sorry excuse for an 'excuse me' and 'hi' and then she finally hit the elevator. She waited for it and when it was still taking too long she huffed and marched next door to the elevator to the stairs and took them down.

She didn't like the stares.
Beyonce pushed the door open to her dorm and slammed it behind her. She winced. Bad idea again. She threw her clothes on the floor beside her bed and then collapsed onto her soft twin size. It oddly enough, this bed seemed foreign now. She wanted to go back to the room with the scent of cologne in the air and the larger, slightly harder bed. It was comfortable. And she missed it. She missed him.

"Um Beyonce?" T said from her desk where she watched her roommate walk in and completely ignore her. Beyonce turned her head to look at her friend.

"Hunh?"

T looked over her. "Where you been? You missed your morning class." T reached over to her desk and grabbed some papers. "Some blonde made me promise to get you the notes."

Beyonce wanted to go to sleep and forget that she could breathe but she wasn't that lucky. She sighed and sat up, pushing her hair out of her face and grabbing the papers. T almost yanked the papers back when got a glimpse of Beyonce's neck.

"Beyonce no," she said once she had been peering long enough. She looked harder and then took in the entire scene, the clothes, the hair, the makeup. "Beyonce no."

Beyonce ran her fingers through her hair again and sighed. "Yes," she said snatching the papers and throwing them on her dresser. She didn't feel like talking about it. She had no idea where his mind or hers was and she didn't want to venture into it. Her head was already hurting. So she simplified it. "I had crazy sex with Shawn less than an hour after his girlfriend left the party. Then I woke up and left like some kind of one night stand. I wanna go to fucking sleep."

T was surprised. She thought she would have to beg for hints so when she got the full story without objections, she even felt kind of bad for her roommate. Not to mention the story. The last thing Beyonce needed was to feel like some sort of tramp. T knew that. She couldn't understand why Shawn didn't know that. Then again, she thought as she helped Beyonce peel off the letterman's jacket, she didn't know the whole story.

"We got practice at two," she simply said to her dozing roommate.

Beyonce slept until one. She got up and showered and washed her hair, not bothering to make an appointment to get it done. She promised herself she would do all that later. She stepped back into her room and looked through her closet. Feeling drained and too tired to give a damn, she slid on some jeans, a white hoodie, and socks with some Nike slides. As soon as her hair had dried a little, she put the curly mass into a bun and then she packed her practice bag and left.

She could have caught a cold for walking to the gym with wet hair but she didn't care. She walked distractedly into the locker room and dropped her bag at her locker.

As usual, people talked around her, not bothering to greet her properly. She just began to change into her practice jersey and shorts. But her moment alone with her thoughts was short lived because Kim approached her from behind.

"Hey," she said forcefully, like the greeting was a command.

Beyonce rolled her eyes and didn't bother to turn around. She almost didn't respond but she had manners. "Hey," she said.

Kim waited for Beyonce to turn and face her but when she didn't she began to speak again. "You're friends with Shawn right?"

"You know the answer to that, Kim." She was too tired to play games with this woman.

Kim was persistent. "And that's all right?"

Beyonce sighed. "Yeah, Kim that's all."

"And nothing has ever happened between yo-," Kim started again but Beyonce turned around. She huffed tiredly and looked at Kim.

"I'm not your woman." Kim looked perplexed at the declaration. "I'm not in a relationship with you and I don't even like your ass. If you wanna know what kind of friendship me and Shawn have, then ask him."
Kim was pissed. "Bitch, I'm asking you." She had gotten loud and drew a lot of attention to the two of them but she didn't care. Beyonce had taken her best friend, her starters spot on the basketball team, and she had heard that the little wench was working on her man. And she was done giving her shit.

Beyonce had turned her back to Kim. When she yelled slander at her back, Beyonce looked up and exhaled loudly. She really didn't have time for the shit. She grabbed her knee brace and turned back to Kim. "Move," Beyonce said.

Kim crossed her arms and stood her ground. "Or what? Ain't nobody scared of yo' ass."

Beyonce touched her forehead. Why the fuck did this shit have to happen today, when she especially didn't feel like dealing with this shit? She made sure she had everything and then she turned around and looked Kim right in her eyes. "You should be." she said cooly and then she pushed passed her stunned opponent. "Crazy ass hoe," she said as she snatched the door open to the gym.

Kim crossed her arms over her chest and stood there to ponder what her next move would be. It was a very trying situation. She made up her mind as she marched over to her own locker. She would just talk to Shawn. She knew that after last night and the talk they had had, after he figured that she would leave, he would be much more mindful of her feelings. Kim knew she wouldn't actually go anywhere, but Shawn didn't. And he didn't need to know that. It was all about a process. Make him think he's useless and he'll want to be needed.

She made up her mind to go to his dorm after practice.

Kim pulled her practice jersey over her head and looked at the time. Fuck, she cursed. She was late yet again. That would be laps for the team, meaning people would, in turn, hate her for it. Shawn and that little bitch were starting to fuck with her head.

Kim made sure that she had extra perfume on when she went to Shawn's dorm, just so he could be tempted and remember what he had. Kim lifted her head. I'm fine as hell, she thought. Who wouldn't want me?

Kim let the elevator doors open and strolled out into his hall with her four inch heels and skinny jeans. She was feeling confident and sure of herself... until she encountered the hallway. They snickered, the men on the hall. When they say her they snickered and laughed and ducked away. She had never been the source of ridicule before that little bitch got here.

She was almost at Shawn's door and away from the open laughing when his neighbor backed out of his dorm to catch a football. But when he saw Kim he let the ball hit him square in the chest as he stared at her with amazement.

"Hey Zay, was up?" Kim greeted.

Zay smiled a smile that screamed, 'I know something you don't.' He started chucked and walked back into his room. Kim was getting fed up. She knocked on Shawn's door with a little more force than she intended but force nonetheless.

When the door swung open and Shawn stood there in his basketball shorts and socks, all the things in the hall were forgotten. He looked damn good with no shirt on. "Hey," she greeted.

Shawn looked plane; almost bored with seeing her like he hoped it would be someone else. Kim shook off the feeling and asked if she could come in. Shawn stepped to the side and closed the door behind her.

"How was class?" she greeted, knowing he had a morning class at nine.

Shawn shrugged. "I didn't go. Practice?"

"Ok."

There was a short silence. The Kim cleared her throat and looked around. Both beds were sheet-less but the room was otherwise clean as usual. She spoke up. "So listen, I think last night was... pretty intense."

Shawn finally looked at her from the other bed where he sat. He nodded in understanding. It was the first time he showed life since she walked into the room. "Yeah it was," he said in agreement. Kim was glad he was interested in the conversation. "I'm glad we finally got a chance to talk."

What?

"What?" she voiced as soon as the thought it.

Shawn nodded. "Yeah, I'm glad we both agreed to go our separate ways. It just makes since with how much we argue."

Kim felt the walls fall down around her. Surely he didn't say what she thought he said. The furniture was melting and she could feel herself start to overheat. This was not happening. She couldn't let another thing in her life be taken away again. "I-I," she couldn't think of what to say. "Separate?"

Shawn stood up and walked to his closet. "Yeah, time. Remember you said it last night?" Kim heard some rustling and then he came out with a hoodie in his hands and jeans on.

Kim felt the ground opening and sucking her in. "R-right."

Shawn pulled his hoodie over his head. "Yeah, I got some laundry. I'm glad we talked."

Shawn threw his hoodie over his head and Kim stood up. Her intention was to tell him that she had had the time she needed and she was ready to get over it. That she forgave him and she thought he had learned his lesson. But he was taking the perfect speech she had prepared and crucified it. Numbly, she walked to the door and Shawn opened it for her. She was almost sure that he would turn around and realize the error of his ways. He would let her jump into his arms and he would tell her he loved her in front of everyone in his hall. He was say 'fuck Beyonce, you're all the woman I need' and then everything would be just like it was suppose to be.

But when Shawn did come out of the room into the hall behind her, he had his laundry and no intention of apologizing.

Kim walked down the hall feeling like she was marching the Green Mile. But then Shawn called her. "Kim," he said to her back. Kim looked at one of the faces of a dorm mate in front of her and then turned back. He had. She knew it would see things her way.

"Yes, Shawn?"

Shawn walked to her. "Do you still have a key to my dorm?"

It was like she crashed. She couldn't even blink. What?

Her hands fumbled to get the key that he had given her a year ago off her key hook. She finally got it loose and dropped it in his palm. Without another word, she turned down the hall. She thought Shawn would stop her because of her lack of farewell. But he said nothing.

And deep in her mind, she knew he wouldn't. She had fucked up. And now she was living with it.