run of the mill.

28th

Beyonce flung her hair from her face and looked at her shocked new boyfriend. She almost wanted to smile at the realization that she had one and she almost did smile had it not been for the odd situation and conversation they were both engaged in.
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She hadn't meant to keep secrets but there were so many things about her that Shawn didn't know. They were just those personal things that you would assume never left your household. She hadn't told anyone of her sorted past and she had no intention of doing so. Until she met Shawn and got the most wonderful boyfriend in the world. If she could tell anyone, it would be him, right? He would keep her secrets wouldn't he?
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Shawn watched her face contort as she fought a battle he couldn't hear. Her eyebrows rose slightly and fell while she weighted her options and then her lips pursed while she chose the right words. He had his girl worked out to a science and he could tell by now what she was thinking just by the things her face did. He wanted to comment on it but then he decided that right then was not the proper time to discuss that. Maybe another time, he thought, if I remember.
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"My real mom died three years ago."
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"What happened?"
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Beyonce climbed off him because Shawn chose to let her go. She sat beside him and grabbed her shirt. She pulled it over her head and grabbed her hair, pulling it out of her shirt. "Her dreams got too big for the deacons wife."
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When Shawn said nothing Beyonce glanced at him and sighed. "She use to sing in the choir with me. She taught me to play the piano. But after a while, after a while she got bored. Her and my dad use to argue all the time about her restless nature." Beyonce stared past Shawn as she looked back into those moments. Her hazel orbs were as they usually were. "She would scream that she had been still. She had raised her children and now it was time to live for herself again... she said she never wanted us, she never wanted that life."
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Beyonce blinked and bit her top lip. She seemed to be coming back to him because when she looked at Shawn again she shrugged and her eyes showed life. "And then one morning she was gone. It was a Sunday... my dad didn't say anything. We just got dressed for church and left... But when we got home that day there was a man on the porch. He said his name was Norris Wake and he wanted to talk to us about an Giselle Julia KNowles."
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"Are you Robert KNowles?" The stark white man in the ugly beige pants and a blue jacket asked as he stood up from the porch swing. His tall skinny build made him awkward as he stepped down the steps to meet me, Shelby and my dad in our yard. Daddy hated when people stood on the lawn but he didn't say anything today.
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Shelby looked at Beyonce curiously. They clasped hands, as they always did when church was over. Beyonce felt her eyes squinting at the sun beaming off of Beyonce's bright yellow sun dress and white straw hat with matching yellow ribbon reflecting the brightness of the day. It was a day too pretty for what their family had been through. Beyonce sighed yet again as tears eluded her yet again that day. She, curiously enough, hadn't sang in the choir that morning and no matter how much they tried, no one could convince her to breath a note that day. She sat with Sister Patterson, a nicer old lady that prided herself on being one of the only women to mind her own business. Everyone noticed that Shelby was crying all through Sunday school and Giselle, their mother, missed yet another Sunday. And sure the congregation murmured, but no one said anything.
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Beyonce smoothed her hand over her blue and white dress. It was her favorite but he worried it was getting too small. Her boobs were starting to develop a little more, Beyonce acknowledged the mound in the front of her perfect dress and frowned.
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"Yes that's me," her dad replied with a suspicious glance at the man. Still he acted with his manners and stuck his hands out to greet the stranger.
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Beyonce dug the small heel of her white shoes into the dirt and looked back at the man.
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"Is your wife Giselle Julia KNowles?" he asked, holding his briefcase in front of him.
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Beyonce's dad nodded slowly, like he didn't know how to answer that while it was perfectly understandable. He didn't know how to answer. Was that still his wife? Had the woman that walked out on his and his sleeping children still worthy of calling herself his wife? Did she get even that?
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"Yes, what's going on?"
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Walter flicked his eyes to the two young girls clutching hands and standing obediently behind their father, the smallest humming a Christian hymn and the oldest giving a confused stare.
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"Maybe we should talk without the children."
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Robert glanced back at his daughters and then stood his ground. "What's this about?" he asked again grasping the hand Beyonce had put in his. He could feel them, her words. He understood what the child was trying to tell him.
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'We are all we have now.'
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'The three Musketeers.'
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'It's us agains the world.'
///
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Shawn couldn't imagine his mother passing away and leaving him. He couldn't see her even raising her voice in their house. It was not her style. She was a disciplinarian but she was mellow, never getting carried away. His father often referred to her as the 'silent killer' because her silence alone was sometimes punishment enough.
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"Vivian went to church with us. She's nice, helped Shelby understand her 'feminine parts' when she turned eleven." Beyonce laughed a little and Shawn smiled. "I love her. She takes care of our family like we're hers."
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Shawn nodded and let the question leak from his mouth. "Are you still mad at your real mom? Even though she's..."
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Beyonce shook her head somberly. "No," Beyonce wanted to tell him that she was the reason that she was wearing Dunks and Vans instead of Gucci and Nine West. She was lying and she sensed that Shawn could tell but cared enough not to say anything about it. He was letting her get away with this lie but Beyonce knew this would be the only one. Shawn was not the type of man that you lied to.
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But she couldn't tell him she was upset at someone who was deceased. She had no idea had to be a woman and what little help she did get, he owed to a college roommate. She wasn't a tomboy, she was lost. Her father raised her and he did a wonderful job, but he raised her in his image. He raised her as he was raised.
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If something was broken, try to fix it before you asked for help. Never call for help when you can do it yourself. Always carry money in your pockets. Purses are too easily stolen. Pants should fit loose, like his, so that you will be comfortable all day. Always shoot with your legs because your arms might come up short.
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A man's mentality.
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"You shouldn't hold that shit on your chest like that," Shawn mumbled, unable to leave it alone.
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Beyonce shook her head. "Whatever, Shawn."
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Shawn looked over at her and was sincerely grateful for her telling him her secrets it was obviously important that she keep everything too herself since she didn't tell anyone that she was the daughter of one of the most powerful singers in the world. He felt... close to her somehow.
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Shawn cupped her cheek and kissed her lips delicately. He felt her slip his tongue in and was welcomed to the taste and feeling she offered to him. His eyes reassured her that he would keep her secret. Beyonce smiled a little at him.
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Shawn sat on the floor in front of her and grabbed her leg. He touched her ankle with his thumb and rubbed an old looking scar she had there. Beyonce's smile widened a bit.
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"And this one?"