The Big Bang Theory Part 3

Sheldon and Leonard

Leonard: Hey, can I talk to you about something? It's a little awkward.

Sheldon: I know what this is about. Given the professional standstill you're at, you're wondering if this is the appropriate time to abandon your research and focus on teaching. Yes. And if I may suggest, consider changing disciplines. Yeah, to the humanities, perhaps history. One of the advantages of teaching history is that you don't have to create things, you know, you just have to remember stuff that happened and then parrot it back. You could have fun with that.

Leonard: Yeah, that's not it. Stuart's kind of interested in Amy.

Sheldon: Oh, of course he is. She's very interesting. Did you know, when she was 14, she severed the webbing between her own toes?

Leonard: No. He wanted me to find out if you'd have a problem with him asking her out.

Sheldon: I'm not sure how to respond, Leonard. I don't own Amy. Can't own a person. At least not since? 1863. President Lincoln freed the? Slaves! Come on Leonard, if you're going to teach history, these are the kind of facts you'll have to know.

Leonard: You know what? Never mind. I'm going to tell him it's okay to ask her out.

Sheldon: The question is moot. There is no way that Stuart, an impoverished peddler of picture books, would be at all appealing to Amy Farrah Fowler, a noted neurobiologist capable of performing surgery on her own feet with nothing but nitrous oxide from cans of whipped cream as anesthesia.

Leonard: All right, but just for the record, I checked in with you to see how you'd feel about it.

Sheldon: Fine. The record shall so reflect. Now, getting back to the problem at hand, what to do with a washed-up experimental physicist.

Leonard: I am not washed-up.

Sheldon: Oh, Leonard. Lots of people love you and want to help you, but they can't until you admit the problem.