Carcinomas of the lung…
I was half surprised to find out about it when the results of my chest X-ray came out. I mean, no doctor would ask a patient to take to do something like have an X-ray if she’s only suffering a mild sickness. There has to be some kind of ulterior motive within those lines.
But only half surprised though, since I kind of expected it in advance. It’s not like this is my first time getting this news…
As I sat on my bed, the doctor sighed heavily and announced the unexpected bad news, or so he thinks.
And I just stared at him blankly, while Miguel began to react in a devastated manner. It’s no news for me or my father, who just hung his head low and sighed.
A sigh that probably signified disappointment… I had thought.
I know why… Cancer treatment isn’t exactly that easy to support financially. And by the way we are living; we can’t afford anything like this again…
… I know all this… because of my mom…
Seems like I’ve inherited my Mom’s way of dying…
…
The memory is still fresh in my mind… The way my mother coughed blood and complained about sleeping difficulties… The way my mother was laid on the hospital bed, isolated from the rest of the world… The way my mother closed her eyes for the last time…
Naturally, I inherited this weakness from my mother, so I tried hiding it with the façade of a happy and energetic girl. I took care of my health in the belief that I wouldn’t live life like my mother did.
But it seems that, no matter how hard I try, I cannot escape fate…
And the irony of it all, the same person who killed my mother would be the same person who would be killing me…
At least Miguel tried to consolidate me at my time of need. Even though I anticipated the outcome to be like this, I cannot help but cry as we embraced each other. I could see that he’s also crying…
It’s scary that you know you are dying. You cannot sleep because of the possibility of never waking up again. You cannot do whatever it is that you want to do anymore. You can’t even think clearly anymore…
But, then again, what’s the reason of recovering to live with the person who almost killed you? Won’t the same thing happen all over again?
… I did think that this sickness is my pass, my escape…
But saying goodbye to everyone else won’t be easy. Heck, it would be the hardest thing to do, for me to say such words and for them to accept those words. It’s like trying to swallow a bunch of glass shrapnel…
But I have to it… It’s some kind of unavoidable task that I’m put up with, and it would be much harder to do it if I let it stall longer.
As I said those words to Pat, my eyes welled up in tears. It’s not the prospect of my sickness that is making me cry but the fact of seeing the reactions of my closest friend as she finds out that I’m dying…
I just can’t stand it, as I watched her expression aghast at the mere mention of my sickness. It’s clear to see that this isn’t the kind of thing she would be hearing from me.
So I cried… I bawled like an infant wanting some attention…
* * *
As I watched Amy cry, I found myself speechless in disbelief. It was then, at that moment, that I realized that all that has been happening now couldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for Amy…
YOU ARE READING
One More Extra Stage
RomanceA Dance Dance Revolution fiction written in 2008. It revolves around the story of a young girl as she discovers that there are other things that can be found on the dance stage other than fame and glory.
