40 Deus ex machina

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Lord called a general assembly of everyone in heaven. There were zillions there, from millions of planets.

Steve Jobs was in front. Everyone thought that Lord would be angry because Jobs had messed up heaven's computer system.

Lord smiled. "Now that you are in heaven, you should all know better. Anger is a deadly sin, and I cannot sin. I may be omnipotent, but that's one thing I cannot do. I cannot sin. I cannot be angry."

Some human beings started to talk among themselves.

"I sent one of my sons to you, didn't I? He made it very clear that what you called the Old Testament was just a preparation for what you called the New Testament. All that talk about me being angry was just, well, human. You human beings had this thing about Old and New. Now you are in heaven and you now know that there is nothing old or new because everything is Now. But I cannot send too many of you back to earth to tell them what's what. It will just confuse everyone there, and I don't want confusion. Confusion leads to sin, and I don't want sin. I cannot hate sin, because hate is a combination of envy and pride, and those are also deadly sins. I just don't want sin, I just tolerate it, because it's part of the system. It's a bug. You understand that, Steve?"

Jobs nodded. He knew when someone was smarter than him.

"I called all of you because I want you all to know that the computer system is back to normal."

The angel who had put Frankie and Romy into the same body waited for the ax to fall.

"Not to worry," Lord said to the angel. "I forgive everything. I stepped in and fixed the computer myself."

Because this was heaven, there was no need for further explanation, because everybody knew what everybody else was thinking or feeling. The geniuses, led by the human named Leonardo da Vinci, immediately figured out all the implications of what Lord had just said, and everybody immediately understood.

The Facebook and Google creators were going to congratulate each other because they were the first on earth to dare think that everybody should know what everybody else is doing, but Lord stopped them.

"That's pride, humans," Lord scolded them. "There is no place for pride here."

The Facebookers and Googlers bowed their heads. They knew, however, that they had been forgiven, because everything was forgiven in heaven.

"How will you solve the problems the computer glitch caused?" one angel asked, not able to control her curiosity.

The Lord smiled. "I just reversed time."

Jobs smiled. He understood what rebooting meant. Everybody else, therefore, immediately understood it, too.


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