Broken Souls

Hinnom, TX- Bon Iver

Unfortunately sleep meant dreams.

I was back in Charleston talking with Aphrodite. Her words swirled through my thoughts. "No demigod will heal your heart." Then I turned away from her with a tear trailing down my cheek. I furiously wiped it away  before I reached Jason.

"Reyna, are you OK?"I faked a smile.

"Yeah I'm fine." He looked at me like he didn't believe me but he turned and kept walking anyway. Then the dream morphed into Nico and I sitting on my bed laughing and throwing popcorn at the TV. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Nico opened it revealing a certain son of Apollo we didn't fancy. Nico had tears in his eyes and obliged to Will's open arms. I heard them whispering. All I could hear was

"I'm sorry. I was being stupid."

"Its OK. I love you." My heart shattered by just one hit and I lost it. I walked over to Nico liquid spilling out of my eyes and pushed him and Will out of the door.

"GO! GET OUT OF HERE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE EITHER OF YOU AGAIN!" I screamed at them sobbing uncontrollably. The amount of pain in my chest was unbearable. Then I woke.

Unnoticed tears stained my cheeks as I opened my eyes with bitter thoughts. I was not falling for another guy. This can't happen, I will not let this happen again. It will just end up with me being hurt. I realized I was still leaning on him and wrapped in his arms. I slipped from his loose grip and went into the bathroom to cool off before he woke up. Mean while I heard Nico quietly start to stir and realization dawned on me. If people saw him leaving my cabin they might get ideas. For the first time in my life I was terrified of what people would think of me. He has to get out of here, but how? Child of Hades duh. Shadow travel. I had a foreboding feeling as I went to talk to him.

"Nico."

"Mmffnom?" He lifted his head up from a plushy pillow.
"What?" He said groggily with his eyes squinted.

"Uh, you, uh, if people see you coming out of my cabin then..."His sluggish morning brain seemed to not be catching on. I gritted my teeth.
"If campers see you coming out of my cabin then they might get the idea that we did something."

"Oh rught-right." He corrected him self. I can just shadow travel. What time is it Reyna, you get up at the butt- crack if dawn."

"Um" I snuck a glance at my clock.
"About, 5ish."

"Uhhhg. It to early. Bye." And with that he disolved into a shadow that vanished.

Relief washed over me and I broke down. I sobbed into my pillow like a baby. You're the daughter of Bellona, Praetor of Rome, and here you are bawling like a blubbering baby. You're tougher than this Reyna. But I didn't care and cried away. I cried for the death of my father. For the destruction of my home and separation of my sister. I screamed for my heartache caused by Jason, and Percy. And I pitied my self for the sorrow to come if I did get any closer to Nico. Every tear fell for a reason; a moment of pain I felt in my heart. I cried over the war, and all the friends I lost. My emotional pain was to much. I needed to hurt something to get it out. A horrid thought crossed my mind. I could just cut my self to feel physical pain so I wouldn't have to feel the emotional. I knew that's not how our bodies work. Emotional and physical are always connected. The horrid thought quickly left my mind. A glint caught my eye in the corner of my sloppy room. Tears waterfalling I ran over to my spear and started hacking away. First the desk filled with paperwork; my dad. Then the closet door; the manias. I shattered the lamp; my sister. I swung at the bathroom mirror; Circe's island. My spear slipped from my hand and clattered to the floor. I ripped off the toilet seat and threw it at the glass shower door breaking both. I sunk to my knees and screamed for all I was worth. And in that moment I was completely alone, wet from tears, and miserable.

Be sure to go back through my chapter titles and check out the songs. I'm trying to make longer chapters so it might take me longer to update. I write chapters how I feel and I like this one. It shows that even you are a leader and strong, that seems invincible we all have a breaking point. Those who struggle with self harm, just know that there are others out there who love and care about you. I love getting my pain and feeling out through art, preferable poetry. I also recommend running. If any of you need someone to talk to, some one who won't judge you, I'm here to talk.