oct. 7
today I cut. my first Time. I don't think I did it right. I was thinking about what I could use and I even googled it but I don't have any exacto knives. before school I took an old drawing of of myself and repeatedly cut myself with it. it didn't go down far. I didn't want it to. after all, I'm not suicidal. I don't want to die. I want to see myself bleed. I can't explain It.
this afternoon I checked the paper cuts to see if it left a mark. it did. I was glad. it was relieving. I don't know why. I wanted more. I wanted scabs , scars , blood. I wanted it all. but I didn't want to cut to deep. after all , I'm not suicidal.
I took a shower just now. I found scissors in the bathroom. they weren't sharp though. they were kid scissors. so I had to slice repeatedly to get blood. there wasn't much though. maybe a couple tiny bubbles. i got frustrated because I wanted more. it doesn't look like lines though. it looks like a bruise. I guess that works. I don't want bruises though. I want cuts. I want to see my blood. but I don't want to die. after all. I'm not suicidal.
YOU ARE READING
I'm not suicidal. (my story with cutting, depression, and other stuff)
Teen Fictionhey. I'm anonymous and this is my story. I have terrible capitalization so if that annoys you then please leave. I'm writing this as the days go on. this is my story of cutting, depression, and all that shit. who knows what will happen. cause it has...
