The Official Crack Book of Hetalia!

WNTDIYM England

This chapter is brought to you by this post. Like, just imagine this. IT WOULD BE SO FRICKING CUTE. I would have America. Or 2p!Prussia. Or Romano. >w<

Dedicated to @QueenOfTheSquirrels~

What Not to Do if You Meet England:

1.) Don't offer to pluck his eyebrows.

2.) Don't say you like coffee more than tea then dump his tea in the bathtub.

3.) Don't call him a "creepy old British dude with fucked-up teeth and caterpillar eyebrows."

4.) Don't call him America's sidekick.

5.) Don't get him drunk.

6.) And then don't ask him is he's UsUk or FrUk.

7.) Don't make him sing, "I AM TOTALLY GAY FOR THE U.S. OF A."

8.) Don't ask him why he was reading a book entitled "Eros" in the first manga in the series.

9.) Don't pet his eyebrows and ask him what he named the squirrel on his face.

10.) Don't send everyone a video of him singing in the shower.

11.) WHO DAT, WHO DAT? I-G-G-Y.

12.) Don't burst in and yell, "TIME FOR A TEA PARTYYYY!!" whenever he says tea.

13.) Don't tell him Green Day sucks.

14.) They don't.

15.) Actually, bonus points if you can get Romano to have a sass-off with him.

16.) Don't tell him that The Beatles should be called "The Beat-les[s]."

17.) Don't ask him to give you the "stuff" he uses to make himself see magical creatures. (Don't do drugs, kids)

18.) Don't ask him what the Magic trio do.

19.) They probably watch Fairly Odd Parents and write fanfic about it.

20.) Don't convince America to make a new series called, "England Doesn't Have Talent."

21.) Bonus points if you can get England to preform with his Amazing Eyebrows.

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So originally for number twenty, I put "England Doesn't Got Talent" for the sake of a parody of "America's Got Talent" but it bothered me so much I changed to "England Doesn't Have Talent."