Fear

Lost

A loud shout in the distance made you jolt up with a gasp. Looking around, you noticed Loki was nowhere to be seen, and a lump of fear formed in your stomach. You hurried up and pulled your shirt over your head, ignoring the underwear spread across the floor which told the story of last night. As your trousers were halfway up your legs, another shout cut through the otherwise silent morning, and your heart jumped when you realized it was Loki who was screaming. Bloody images of Loki being brutally murdered by faceless strangers flashed by and you whimpered as you hurried out the door. Your horse was gone...

You threw the door open and turned your head to your right, towards the castle, only to meet a sight like taken from your worst nightmare. Loki was on the ground, wearing only a pair of trousers, blood covering his torso. You froze, paralyzed with fear. Two men stood bent over him, their faces covered by hoods, and another one was holding three black horses by the reins. Loki screamed again, screamed for help, and you flinched and took a step towards them but then one of the men aimed a kick at Loki's stomach and his scream was cut off. Your heart jolted and you froze again. They hadn't seen you... You couldn't fight three grown men on your own and getting help was impossible without alarming the men, who were now dragging Loki's lifeless body onto one of the horses before swinging up into the saddles and taking off. You stood staring after them dumbly, blinking every once in a while.

You stood there for minutes, perhaps hours, not noticing the tears running down your cheeks or the hunger gnawing at your stomach, not feeling the cold numbing your fingers and bare toes, not knowing that a pair of eyes was on you during all those hours.

Loki was gone. Dead, perhaps, or at least fatally injured. The blood... the picture had been so horrible, just like the ones in your nightmares, the ones where Loki was whimpering with pain, begging you to help him while you couldn't, and just like in your nightmares Loki was now gone, gone because you didn't help him, couldn't help him.

You sobbed and fell to your knees. Loki had kept those dreams away, and now Loki was gone... And the feeling of him, the way he made your chest swell with happiness and love, the way he made you smile, it filled you up and made you cry even more. Was there a life without Loki? You didn't know it. You couldn't simply not wake up in his arms, couldn't not fall asleep to his "goodnight, love", couldn't live without him... And suddenly you became aware that you were shivering with cold, your stomach was churning in lack of work, and your legs couldn't carry you when you tried to rise. The chilly winds of the cliff were tugging at your thin clothes...

Warm and strong arms were wrapped around you just as you collapsed and you let yourself drift out of consciousness as you were lifted into a warm embrace. Just as you met Thor's piercing blue eyes everything went black.

You groaned and stirred, which resulted in you almost falling off the bed. Large hands pushed you back onto the bed, a gentle but hurried move, and you groaned again. A low hum made you realize there weremore than one person in the room. You opened your eyes and flinched. The bed you were laying on, which was Loki's, was surrounded by people. Thor was the one who had saved you from falling off the bed, he was kneeling next to it. Standing next to him, eyeing you searchingly, was Eir, and next to her a servant carrying a tray of tools belonging to Eir. By the foot of the bed were the king and queen, and on the other side were Saga and two servants you didn't know. You frowned, what were all those people doing here? And where was Loki? You turned in the bed but he was nowhere to be seen. When you parted your lips to speak it was a low, raspy tone, and instead of asking for Loki as intended you only managed to cough up the word "thirsty". Saga hurried towards you with a glass of water but Eir stopped her.

"She's in shock. Water won't help her."

You frowned and looked at Eir.

"But I'm thirsty," you protested, but the healer only shook her head. She sat on the bed and felt your forehead before making a note on a paper she had stuck to a thin wooden board. Next, she checked your eyes and reflexes before asking how you felt. You bit your lip and asked yourself, how do I feel?