Fear

A light in the end of the dark tunnel

Loki groaned and opened his eyes. The sweet smell of Aliyah's fragrance reached him when he took a deep breath and he flinched when he realized he was holding her. Looking over her shoulder, he saw that she was still fast asleep, so he decided to get some air.

In the latest days he had truly gained Aliyah's trust, using lies and excuses to explain why he seemed so absent and sometimes disgusted when he was with her. He refrained from laying with the princess and didn't touch her more than necessary, although she seemed happy that he was hers anyway. He smiled a little while pulling his trousers on. The poor girl was so gullible...slowly opening the door, he threw a look over his shoulder to make sure she was truly asleep. He pulled the door shut and walked through the small palace towards the ground level.

Castles of Heidmar were smaller and more logical; instead of Asgard's many floors and trapdoors and hidden staircases, there were simply a few floors on top of each other with only one set of stairs between. There were no towers, no secret rooms, nothing. Loki disliked it, but right now it worked to his advantage since he would easily guide himself through the palace. Aliyah's palace (all princes and princesses in Heidmar had their own, which was the only thing Loki envied Aliyah for) had four floors;

Aliyah's floor, which consisted of her rooms, the guest floor, which consisted of guest rooms, the feast floor, which was actually just a great hall and some smaller rooms surrounding it, and the ground floor, where kitchens and servants were quartered. There were dungeons and guard's quarters below, but they were ridiculously small.

Loki stopped in his tracks. He had recognized the face of one of the servants walking by. Whipping around in the corridor, he called the man's name.

"Jele!"

Jele turned and his eyes widened.

"My prince, what are you doing here?"

Loki half smiled and walked up to the considerably shorter man. Ignoring Jele's question, he asked:

"Do you write to my love?"

At first, Jele frowned, but then his eyes lit up as he realized who Loki was talking about.

"I do. I haven't written in a while, though, because I've had a lot to do, but I was hoping to do it tonight. Why?"

"Can you promise to tell her I love her?" Loki asked.

Jele smiled a visibly forced smile and nodded but Loki had a feeling he wouldn't tell her anything about Loki. Mentally cursing, Loki looked up to find Aliyah walking towards them.

'Oh no...'

Aliyah would be mad if he didn't kiss her, but Jele would surely tell all about it...

Aliyah swept past Jele and pulled Loki down into a sweet kiss. He frowned but quickly smoothened his face as she broke the kiss and asked where he'd been. Shrugging, he mentioned getting air and she smiled.

"I will have breakfast sent to our room, darling, get some air and return to me," she said and Loki nodded and took off, worries swirling around in his head. Jele was sure to tell his love about this, and she would hate him for it, but he couldn't do anything because then Aliyah would be mad and that girl was crazy; she'd have someone killed. Loki sighed and entered the gardens. Wrinkling his nose at the sweet smell of the flowers that Aliyah got her perfume from, he walked over to a fence and leaned on it. He took a deep breath and extracted the fresh air from the scent of the flowers. With a sigh he let the air out and shook his head. What a mess he was in...

A soft breeze brushed his cheek and he closed his eyes while imagining his love, her hands on his skin, her lips on his... He saw her smile in front of him and he couldn't help but smile as well, even though a tear ran down his cheek. Something to his right caught his eye and he swallowed. It was a small plant which had flowers in all the colors of the rainbow; the plant next to which his lady had kneeled on that day, months ago.

He led her out into the garden and chuckled softly when she gasped.

"It's beautiful," she whispered lowly, unconsciously, he suspected. He wanted to tell her that it wasn't nearly as beautiful as her, that there was nothing as beautiful as her, but he couldn't. She was already afraid of him, already terrified of what she'd heard of him. He couldn't simply ruin this. She meant everything. She kneeled in front of a rainbow plant and he smiled, a genuine smile.

"I thought you'd like it," he said, still keeping in the words of flattery he was longing to say. She nodded fervently and he laughed. She was amazing... He offered her his arm.

"Walk with me?" he requested and she rose with a smile. That smile, it lit up his day, and any day without it was a day wasted.

Any day without his love was a day wasted.

He took a deep breath and wiped his tears with the back of his hand. He had to get back, quickly, get back there and tell her how much he loved her...

"Hey."

He spun around quickly, taken aback by the sudden sound. It was Jele. He swallowed and nodded to the man, who walked up next to him. Saying nothing, Loki sighed and looked out over the fence.

"I miss her," Jele said and Loki grunted.

"Me too."

"She's... she's one of a kind. She's down-to-earth, she's funny, she's smart..."

"Beautiful," Loki filled in. Jele nodded and continued.

"I love her. She's like a sister to me, we do everything together. In a desperate attempt to be with her forever just for the sheer pleasure of her company I told her I was in love with her... I feel horrible now. I don't deserve her, not really, not when I leave her like this. I just followed the princess, because she was offering me a better life, but honestly, I'd rather be broke and starving but with your lady... If you're going back, will you take me with you?"

Loki processed these words for a while. It was hard to hear the man speak of his lady, but even harder to hear the question. He couldn't promise anything. But, stupid as he was, he did.

"Help me get away from here and I swear I will take you with me."

Jele lifted an eyebrow.

"You're not here voluntarily?"

Loki shook his head with a sigh.

"The quim had me kidnapped and locked up in her room, and now she's forcing me into this act. I don't love her, I hate her, but she's forcing me to be with her. All I want is to get back to Asgard and my lady. I will take you with me if you help me."

Jele nodded and continued staring into the forest. A quite pleasant silence filled the air and Loki enjoyed it while thinking of the reunion with his love. At first, it was a happy meeting in his head. He would find her in their room, on the bed, crying, and he would walk over there and kneel next to her and press a kiss to her cheek and whisper "don't cry". She would look up and gasp and throw her hands around his neck and he would kiss her softly, he would cherish the feel of her lips, and then he would stand and pull her into the bed and they would share hours of suppressed passion and love.

But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it wouldn't be like that. She would be mad, Thor would possibly have seduced her, and he would come back to a living nightmare. Of course, his parents would be rabid, because he could never do right, and now he'd broken this girl's heart as well and blah, blah, blah. He was used to that, he was used to his brother winning over him, but he would never stand seeing his darling's eyes. The pain they reflected, the hurt, the tears...

He could never take that.

"So..." he started and Jele flinched. Ignoring him, Loki continued. "Are you writing to her?"

Jele swallowed.

"I wrote to her earlier..."

Loki arched an eyebrow.

"And?"

Jele continued slowly.

"I told her about earlier."

Loki swallowed. He was in great trouble.

"Great..." he said slowly.