Take a Bullet

Chapter 20

Hello beautiful readers! :) I am so, so, so, SO sorry about the long wait for this chapter. I've been so busy with family/ friends, theater, school, and dance. I've been getting a lot of homework and it's been pretty stressful lately. For those of you who is waiting patiently for the rest of the story, thank you so much for your patience, gratitude, and your love. There has not been a day where I haven't thought about this book.  I felt an update was in order. Hopefully this makes you smile regardless of the craziness of the previous chapters. Enjoy!

               Claire's P.O.V.

I gasp in a breath of cold air as I walk further and further away from my apartment, but I feel nothing  enters my lungs. It's as if oxygen isn't enough to sustain me at the moment.

It feels as if the weight of everything has come upon my shoulders and I can't support it.

Maria called shortly after Christine and I arrived back at my place. She told me I had four days.

Four days to send her a draft of my nonexistent article.

Four days to write the words that will make or break my career.

Four days to prove my worth as a journalist.

And I have nothing. I have absolutely nothing. Not even one lousy word has been saved.

I feel my eyes burn once again as I think back on the countless hours I spent studying and pouring myself into my work so I could gain the skills I would need to land a position at a newspaper. I think about all the fears I had to overcome after the Hunter incident; how I had to try everything in my power to disassociate my harassment from my passion for journalism. I've worked so hard and here I am now with nothing to offer for all my efforts.

I know I should just tell Sean the truth. With that weight elevated, I'm sure I'd be able to write. But I also know that Sean would walk right back out of my life as quickly as he came. There is no way I would be able to focus on my article if that happened.

Not to mention my mother breathing down my neck this morning. As if I need another critic telling me I'm letting my one chance slip away. My mind is already yelling at me about it enough.

I stop walking when I reach the end of the street, I close my eyes in an attempt to block the disparaging thoughts from entering into my mind and take in a few deep breaths to calm my raging senses down. I bring up a hand and wipe at the lurking tears that have yet to leave my face.

I've spent the past few hours on the inside; trapped within the confines of my own body. My thoughts echoed loudly through my mind and made it impossible to hear the people attempting to reach out to me. All I could focus on was the endless list in my mind reminding me of all the things I still have yet to do and haven't begun. Coupled with my stabbing guilt and my body couldn't take it anymore. It shut down with me on the inside.

The few words I spoke to Christine took more effort than they should have. I felt as if I was fighting against a wind threatening to pick up my words and take them away. What I heard myself yell in my mind, came out in a mere whisper to an outsider. The wind overtook my voice.

But then Sean came. Sean came and the wind dissipated. The walls around me were pulled away, no longer trapping me inside. His soothing voice thawed my frozen senses.