Lay with me

Chapter 7: Picking up the Pieces

Every day I lay in bed doing absolutely nothing but mourning Lay's death. The first few days I would just moan and cry, but I eventually grew too weak and tired to do either. Kai coaxed me into eating a few bites of food in the morning and at night, but I would get sick if I ate any more than that. He would talk to me about his day, his family, movies, and he really tried his best to make me feel better. 

I wanted to be alone, but I really appreciated Kai's efforts. He was the only one that stayed with me throughout the whole entire mourning process. Some friends and family left food outside the apartment door, but that was it. Lay's family felt mixed feelings of anger and grief and they did not bother consulting me about anything. They decided to take Lay back to China and hold the funeral there without me. Words cannot express how upsetting that was and luckily, Kai protected me from learning that until much later. 

After a week of bawling my eyes out and lying in bed, Kai forced me to take a shower because I reeked. He made us food and we watched a funny movie. I almost smiled at one of his jokes. It must have been really difficult for Kai to be around me in this decrepit state, but he did and eventually things became almost normal. 

I still had to work so I did some basic secretarial work from home and spent my mornings and evenings with Kai. I felt like he was just an amazing friend; my soulmate, in a non-sexual way. For some reason, I could not eat a lot of my usual favorite foods and had weird cravings for sweets all the time. My period was late for a whole month and I decided to go to the doctor to see what was wrong with me. I thought I was just under stress after Lay's death. But I ended up being pregnant.

The first thing that raced through my mind was, "HOW?!"

The next thing I felt was pure happiness because Lay was still a part of me even though he could not be here with me. I knew I had to take care of this baby even though it would be a long and difficult journey. Kai and this baby saved me.