Love since grade one

Chapie 18

"HE'S COMING BACK TODAY!!!" I hollered excitedly running around Maxi's house.

"Calm down chakita!" Kat said ad grabbed my arm. A horn beeped outside and I squealed. I ran off outside and jumped on spencer.

"Woah!" He exclaimed and tumbled back a little.

"I've missed you so much!" I shouted and kissed his cheek.

"I can see that, I've missed you too." He said while engulfing me into a tight hug.

"Your hugs are so warm." I admitted, snuggling my face into his chest.

"I missed you being in my arms." He stated.

"We're cheesy."

"We're adorable." Spencer kissed my cheek which sent tingles all over and butterflies erupted in my tummy.

"You're adorable." I said while playing with his soft blonde hair happily.

"So when do you have to leave?"

"I have a week." He stated making me pout.

"Only a week?" I questioned.

"Yeah, I have school to catch up on too you know." He said with a wink making me giggle.

"Come inside, maxi is making morning tacos." I stated while dragging him inside.

"I am?" Maxi questioned.

"Yes, get working." I stated, throwing him a wink.

"It's not even morning!" Kat stated.

"So? Maxi's morning tacos are delicious!" I admitted.

"BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!" Maxi hollered, permitting me to flick his nose.

"Your my bitch, get working peasant." I ordered while poking his cheek. He rolled his eyes and started to cook.

"So, how do you like your new home Spencer?" Kat questioned as we all sat down. Spencer was next to me of course, Kat was across from us.

"It's nice but I miss living here." He stated.

"Now you know how I feel when I had to move away in grade 4." I commented.

"It's possibly the worst feeling ever." He said. I mentally pouted, remembering my terrible move. This triggered a bunch of emotions. What if he was playing me? What if he doesn't actually care? What if he thinks I'm unattractive? What if he doesn't like my personality? What if he thinks I'm a loser like how everyone did in. Grade 8.

What if, what if, what if. It's not always right, I'm just doubting things. It's just me thinking of possibilities that may not be true. I should just go with the flow, whatever happens, happens.

"Here'a your morning tacos!" Maxi said, setting down a plate with about 6 or 8 of them. We all ate in peace and joy.

~~~

•a week later•

"You know I have to go soon, I can't leave school, and my family." Spencer stated. We were both currently walking on the beach hand in hand. I reflected back on the whole week, you know how he said doubts ruin relationships? Yeah I've been doubting us all week. It was usually because of being bullied back I'm the days, I just didn't feel good about myself. I needed to feel confident, to love myself before I can love others. No one wants to date someone negative, that why girls date douchebags. They have confidence! I really hated why I was about to do next.

"I can't do this. The distance is to much, I keep on doubting us because of it. This isn't going to work out." I stated and run away towards my bike I rode here with. Tears ran down my face, I felt terrible but I couldn't deal with the distance. I'm just glad I didn't have to see his face when I said the words. I'm a coward. ___________________________

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