The weather had become cold and I was still stalking Jeff and Larry. Nothing interesting had been happening lately, except when Larry told Jeff that he had picked Jerry up from kindergarten when he in fact had not.
I was sitting on the balcony one day, in December, it was Christmas. I was so cold I was barely paying attention to what Larry and Jeff were doing. Larry got Jeff a sweater that he knitted himself. It had a huge picture of a snail on it.
Jeff smiled and said: "I love it."
But later that day, when Larry was at the skating rink with Jerry, Jeff threw the sweater out the window. The sweater hit me and I screamed.
"WHAT THE COW?!" Jeff screamed, "what are you doing here?!"
"I um... I.." I couldn't think of a reason. I realized on that moment how weird it was that I was stalking my ex-fiancé.
"It's okay," Jeff said "You're really pretty."
"Um thanks?" I said thinking that I hadn't showered in over a year. "Wait a minute, I thought you loved Larry."
"Well," Jeff said, "that's not true. I'm a secret government agent undercover, I'm spying on Larry to make sure he's not part of an organization called..."
He took a dramatic pause.
"The Snilluminati."
"The Snilluminati?"
"Yes. They are an evil organization against cheese whiz."
"What the cow?!" I yelled. "Why would any decent person not like cheese whiz?!"
"They are not decent people." Jeff said solemnly. "They stand for the most evil cause in the universe. "
"Oh" I said.
"Do you want to take a shower? Your hair is a mess."
"Sure." I said.
