Chapter 1: Nutella, Oreos and the Van
Alex's P.O.V.
I ran into the kitchen with a baseball bat and a box of tampons as I heard Van scream. "VAS HAPPENIN, I WILL KILL YOU EVIL MR. MURDERER!!" And I then jumped onto the table in our kitchen and shouted "FOR NARNIA!!!", throwing the tampons at the moving figure which was standing right next to the Holy Cupboard Of Oreos and Nutella.
"Ow!" the person yelled, sounding oddly familiar. "NEVER THOUGHT IT HURT SO BAD, GETTING OVER YOU-OU.!!" Lawl, I just quoted 1D lyrics to someone who tried to steal MY Oreos--- Imagine having a 6some with 1D----- OK, umm, you never saw that, I should really continue with my Oreo/Nutella rescue mission.
"STOP, THE TRAFFIC LET EM' THROUGH, YOU'RE SURROUNDED, GIVE UP BEFORE WE FIRE!" I yelled, ready to swing the baseball bat and possibly kill the person, oh well, I'll have to move to Antarctica, or the North Pole, MAYBE I'LL MEET SANTA! OK, FOCUS! "Alex! It's me!" said the mysterious person. "Who am me? I don't know a 'me'." I replied, thinking that it was a smart comeback.
"JUST SWITCH THE GOD DAMN LIGHTS ON FOR FUDGE SAKE!!!" "OK, but if I go blind or you shoot me, I just wanna say-- I WANT YOU TO ROCK ME, ROCK ME, ROCK ME YEAH!" I then jumped off the table; ninja rolled across the floor and turned on the light.
"Oh, hey Vanessa, did you see evil Mr. Murderer anywhere?" "No, it was me. I called you to tell you that we ran out of Oreos and Nutella. And to get you out of that damn cave you call your bedroom." Ok, let's wait and wait for it to sink------ "WHAT?!?!?!?!? WE'RE OUT OF OREOS?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDIN ME UP GURL?!?!? I WILL GO OVER THERE AND I WILL SLAP YOU UP, I AM NOT JOKING." I said as I snapped my fingers in a Z formation.
"TO THE SHOPS!!! And maybe we could stop at McDonalds on the way, I'm starving to death." I said walking off. "Oh, and one more thing, my bedroom is not a normal cave, It iz ze NA NA NA NA NA BATCAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled running to my room to grab my jacket and shoes.
"My body is almost ready!" I yelled (not in the dirty way) while hopping towards the door while trying to put on my shoe. "DA DA DADA DA DA DADA DA DADA DA DADADADA DA LOOK, IM A MULTITASKER!" I carried on hopping but unluckily, I bumped into a wall "WHO PUT THAT GOD DAMN FUDGING WALL IN MY WAY?!?! WAT DA HELL?!?! COME AT ME BRO!" I said to the wall (yes I speak to walls) while hitting my chest king-kong style.
"Are you ready Van?!?! HA HA do you see what I did there?!?"" I'm ready" she called while walking into the hallway, looking pretty and girly as always. "LEGGOOOOOO!!!" I said, walking off to the left. "Umm... Alex, you're going the wrong way." "Oh, I knew that, I was just trying to...... test your navigation skills. You could be a GPS." I laughed while doing the superman pose and walking in the other direction.
"Ok, first we're gonna go to McDonalds, then shopping for food and then, we may return back to our normal everyday lives." She said while walking. See, we are both great multitasks. You should learn from us, grasshoppers.
We walked into McDonalds and stood in the Que. When it was our turn Vanessa ordered: a medium Cheeseburger, large fries, large coke and smarties McFlurry "What do you want Alex?" "Umm, A double cheeseburger, large fries, 12 chicken nuggets, large coke and chocolate milkshake, Oreo McFlurry and a happy meal... don't forget the toy.".
The lady snorted (much to Vanessa's dislike) and muttered "fat ass bitch" under her breath. “EXCUSE MUE SI VU PLEI, WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?!?" “I called you a fat ass bitch" she said, smirking." I'm sorry, I'd slap you but I don't want to get slut (sloth) on my hand. Oh and here's a tip. There are 4 extra buttons on your shirt for a reason, use them because you can see your tits and I don't want a random sluts (sloths) boobs all over my food. Now get me my food peasant." I said.
Half of McDonalds were looking at me. She ran off and a few minutes after she returned with my food. "T-That's $34.64" I handed her the money and walked out, sitting on a bench and I started to eat my food. "THAT....WAS....EPIC!!!" Vanessa said while laughing. After we finished our food we then went to a Walmart.
Before we entered we took 3 carts. I took 2 and headed over to the Oreo and Nutella section. Filling each basket up all the way to the top. I then went in search for Vanessa I spotted her over by the frozen section getting ice-cream and other frozen food like pizza etc. "Ok, I think we're good for 3 weeks." She said while looking at all the food behind me. Then she said" Good, young grasshopper" and then she walked off to the cash person. It was a dude called BOB.
He looked at us as if we was crazy but he started scanning the food anyway. It was awkward to I decided to make a conversation. "You see, a whole pack of M&M's costs $1.69 but I only want to buy one, how much do I pay?" He looked at me as if I was crazy and carried on scanning through the food. I huffed and went over to the window. Vanessa paid and we exited the shop with about 15 plastic bags, full of food each. "TWO...TRIPS...ARE FOR... PUSSIES!!!" I exclaimed." I then noticed a white van following us. "Van, I think that van may or may not be following us."
"Don't be stupid." she huffed but we were almost at our flat when the white van pulled up beside us and everything went black...
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HAIII GUYSSSSS, ITS ME, DA SASS MASTAAA!!! I'M NOT SURE YOU CAS SEE THE IMAGE ON THE SIDE SO HERE'S THE LINK http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?.embedder=4800820&.svc=facebook&id=82980499
~AwesomeOreoSassMasta~
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Who We Are (A 1D Fanfic) *ON HOLD*
FanfictionTwo girls, seven guys. Vanessa and Alexandra, two normal teenage girls. Well, maybe not normal, they're both crazy! And obsessed with food (especially Oreos and Nutella). What happens when they get kidnapped by the worlds biggest boyband, One Direct...
