Hello again!! (Janoskians Fanfic)

32 I dont want to remember.

A/n please read the authors note at the end of the chapter guys because its very important.

Hannah's P. O. V:
After dinner Amanda and I both had guidance counseling but neither of us wanted to go so we went back to my room so I could get a cardigan and then we went to Amanda's room, which was right beside Dean's room so she could get her cardigan. Amanda led me down the hall and up four sets of stairs. There was a room that said no entry and she opened it. I followed her out onto the roof and we sat down on the edge of the roof and let our feet dangle off it. "We could jump right now and nobody else would know" she looked down. "I'm not going to say goodbye on my first day here, besides the only one that I love is who I'm in here for, I couldn't just do that to him" I thought about Jai and what he might be doing right now, did he miss me? Did he even notice that I was gone? I pushed the questions out of my head, they were so stupid, how could I think like that? I didn't realize how long we had been up here until I noticed that it was dark. We both stood up and walked back down the stairs. I got into my room and took out my phone. I had 6 missed calls from Jai and 12 text messages. I opened them, they all said 'RING ME OR ANSWER YOUR PHONE PLEASE!!' I took a deep breath and rang him. He answered.

Jai: HELLO HANNAH IS THAT YOU??!!
He sounded worried

Hannah: Yeah Jai it's me, what's wrong??

Jai: nothing I just got worried because the recovery center rang me, they said that you missed your guidance counselors appointment and that you had been missing all night!!

Hannah: Shit!!!! Amanda and I didn't think that they would find out that we were gone for hours. I guess we were wrong.

Jai: Yeah both of you were gone. Where did you two go?

Hannah: We just walked around for ages and we sat down for a while.
I wasn't going to tell him that I was on the roof because if I go there again with Amanda or by myself and the staff are looking for me, Jai will know where I am.

Jai: Oh okay please don't do that again you had everybody worried. So how are you getting on there?

Hannah: I won't. Great everybody here is so nice, and the food isn't that bad either. The rooms are a decent size but they're very empty. I hate the scrubs though.

Jai: That's good. Why, what is wrong with them?

Hannah: They are fucking purple. I feel like a prune or a grape.

I could hear Jai's deep chuckle and I smiled.

Jai: I'm sorry Hannah but I have to go.

I heard the boys shouting on the background.

Hannah: Okay Jai. Goodnight

Jai: Goodnight Hannah. I love you babe.

Hannah: I love you too Jai. Bye

Jai: Bye.

I hung up and put my phone on my bed. I got changed into some pyjamas that were left on my bed. I looked at the time, it was 1:46am. I put my phone on the locker beside my bed. I got into bed and fell asleep smiling.

The next morning:

*The start of Hannah's dream*

I was sleeping in the bed in the recovery center. The nurse came in and woke me up, she said that it was breakfast time.

A few weeks later I got released. I went back to the boys' house. I walked in the door but nobody was there so I made my way up the stairs. I walked down the hall until I got to Jai's room. He wasn't there either so I decided to sit on his bed and wait for him. About an hour later he came in the door but he was making out with another girl. I screamed and hit him. He stopped kissing her and came over to me. He pushed me on the bed and sat on me, he pulled out a gun and held it up to my head. "Do it Jai, she is nothing to you. She is useless" the girl shouted. "Yeah you're right Kira" Jai looked at her and back to me. "She's nothing to me" Jai continued. I looked back at the girls face and it was very clear that the girl was Kira. Jai put his finger on the trigger. "Please Jai" I pleaded. He shook his head and pulled the trigger................

*end of Hannah's dream*

"No Jai" I screamed as I woke up, sweating and shaking all over. I picked up my phone and looked at the time. It was 8:47am so I decided to stay awake. I sat up in bed and looked in the mirror. My hair was a mess and I struggled to keep my eyes open. I got changed back in to my purple scrubs. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I tied my hair up and grabbed my phone and left my room. I knocked on Amanda's room and she opened the door. She came out and we went downstairs to get breakfast. I didn't eat because I wasn't hungry and the staff just stared at me confused. When Amanda finished eating I told her about my dream, and she said that it was natural to have night mares about him and Kira because they're both gone for now. I told her all about Kira, Jai, the rest of the boys, Caitlin and my three dead baby's. I cried a lot while I told her but she didn't mind, she said that she was happy that I told somebody and she thinks that I should go to group counseling today. I said that I would only go if she went and she agreed. We had counseling after breakfast. Amanda and I walked down to the counseling room. We were early so we sat down in a chair. The chairs were put in a circle like something you would see at a rehab center and I didn't like it. Logs of other people came and we all had to stand up, say our name and age and say why we are here. It was my turn and I was sweating because I was so nervous. "Hi my name is Hannah, I'm 20 years old and I'm here because I lost my best friend, two children and I am suffering with depression" I sat back down in my seat and I noticed some apologetic glances were shot my way. We all got to know each other. We were asking each other different questions about what got us here, our last. Sam ( a guy from the group who also has depression, he lost his mother, his father and his girlfriend *SUPERNATURAL SEASON 1* and his brother is Dean) asked me how did I loose three children, I noticed that all eyes were on me. I cleared my throat "When pregnant both of the twins died in a car crash a two weeks after they were born" I thought of Jai in that hospital bed. "I'm sorry for your loss" Sam looked down. I smiled at him and started to talk about music, when I told him my full name he knew who I was. He said that he went to see me on the night of my first concert. Be said that I was amazing. I thanked him and walked away, I couldn't stop thinking about Jai and it was killing me. He is so perfect and he chose a messed up girl like me. I'm not good enough for him, he deserves someone so much better than me.

A/ n I'm going to Holland on the 23 of December omg I'm so excited. I'm going to try and write a lot more chapters but could somebody please give me an idea?? Thanks. I love you all, stay beautiful
Hannah xxx