The Impossible Story (Doctor Who Fan Fiction

Giving Up

'A Time Lord lives too long. I'm going to go away soon. I was supposed to save all of those children not burn them again! Why did they give me another set of regenerations? I was happy with my life on Trenzalore and how it was going to end with every life I saved a victory against the Daleks. How you and I parted ways was such a peaceful moment for me.' Clara has no idea how to pull him out of this abyss. She can feel the pain of his guilt and it was overwhelming if this is how she felt she can't even begin to imagine how it is affecting him. The only thing she can think to do is try counter his argument. She takes a deep breath.

'Maybe it's because the universe can't survive without the Doctor. I know I can't.'

'Yes, the universe needs a murderer I committed genocide on my own people twice! That wears on a man's hearts you know! The universe to me now is so cold and without hope. Clara I can't see it anymore. I never understood why Vincent said that my life was incomplete because I hadn't felt hopelessness. Now, I understand and I don't want to! Clara I can't do this anymore, it's time to say goodbye,' the Doctor can't control his crying now.

Clara knows exactly what the Doctor means. For the past two weeks she had been in a daze. She couldn't understand why the world didn't stop when Danny died. Her world ended and she wanted the Doctor's to as well. Her memory went back to that day in the TARDIS . She really thought they had gone to a volcano and she threw every TARDIS key into the lava. Whatever it took she thought to make the Doctor go back and save Danny. But, the Doctor in his usual cleverness turned the tables on her inducing a dream state so he could see how far she would go and that was past the brink. It had hurt him completely. Clara hadn't seen such pain in his eyes that is until today. But, then he said "You betrayed me. Betrayed my trust, you betrayed our friendship, you betrayed everything that I've ever stood for. You let me down!" Those words echoed in her head now. He was there at the lowest point of her life and even though she deserved to be left he didn't. When she asked why he was going to help her he continued "Why? Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?" Now it was her turn no matter how much it was going to hurt. The pain was already intense and she knew this was only the beginning.

'I can't see it either,' Clara agreed with the Doctor as she started staring at the same patch of ground as the Doctor. 'I guess we are both broken,' Clara smirks but it wasn't one of laughter it was one of a resigned fate.

'Three broken hearts I guess,' the Doctor sighs heavily and unconsciously reaches for his collar where his favorite bowtie once resided. He left his hand resting there for just a few moments just feeling the beat of his broken hearts. 'Some habits die hard,' he concluded and put his hand back on his leg. Clara looks over at him through her own tears and sees the Doctor's unconscious movement.