You're My Flower, Lily - A Lily Evans and James Potter Fanfic (Jily)

Can You Keep A Secret?

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I'M GONNA SCREAM

Anyway...

Here's the next chappie.  I hope you like it (:
Sorry for the long wait between updates!

MWAH - dumbbledore

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Lily's POV

I didn't stop until I reached the portrait hole. "Quidditch," I blurted. It swung open.

I was so tired. Tired of being used and made fun of. Chances are James was just in it for the chase. No, he PLANNED that! And now he is going to tell the whole school, and I'm completely humiliated, and Sirius heard everything, and.....

I wanted to cry, but really, what was the point? I knew nothing good could have come from this. Who cares about nice smiles and cute behavior and messy hair and piercing grey eyes and....

I was inside my head now, and nothing was going to get me out of it. James Potter planned this, I convinced myself. This is what happens when you trust people. They hurt you.

I realized that I still had his sweatshirt over my shoulders. With a deep sigh of resignation, I pulled it over my head. "Oh, screw it," I told myself as I climbed into bed. I still liked James Potter, and him being an arse didn't change that. I was just going to have to ignore my feelings from now on.

--

"WAIT WHATTTT???" Alice screamed when I told her and Marlene the next morning over breakfast. "He almost kissed you???!! But..."

"Keep your voice down!" I hissed. "But Sirius ruined it, yeah. It was probably planned all along. I've never felt so humiliated!"

"WHAT NO CALM DOWN!" said Marlene. "This is good."

"No, it's awful! I let myself like James Potter! This can't happen! No!"

"Shhh," said Alice. "It was not planned, Lily. You let yourself go into your head. You're so worried about getting hurt that you push everyone away. This is not his fault, Lily. Look...." She gestured towards James and Sirius, who were now sitting at opposite ends of the table. "they're not speaking to each other. You can't just jump to conclusions, Lily."

"But how do I make it up to him?" I whined.

"Take him somewhere. Surprise him. Make him feel like you want him," said Marlene. "You have to show him."

"But that's so hard," I said. "I don't even know if I want to pursue a relationship with him at all!"

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Okay, this is the one who was just sitting here five minutes ago telling me about how much fun you had!"

"I know you've liked him for more than just a week or two, Lily. Last year you used to say no to his offers, but then you'd blush. And I caught you staring at him a lot. It wasn't until he stopped asking that you really let yourself believe it, but you really have liked him for a while," said Alice.

I sighed. It was a lost battle. Even I knew it. I liked the way his mouth turned up when he smiled, and how his hands were constantly moving, fidgeting with something. His handwriting was just as messy as his hair, probably because his hands couldn't keep up with his brain. I really, truly wanted this just as much as he did. Last night in Hogsmeade, I had succumbed to all of my emotions, and so when Sirius appeared out of nowhere, it shattered my fragile feelings and my wall came up again.

Alice and Marlene right. I needed to show James that I liked him. But I also wanted to show him that I needed us to be friends too. We needed to trust each other.