Just sex? (Cameron Dallas fanfic)

Holding out or not ?

Sarah P.O.V
I walked with Jake up to his room. I am still unsure if I want to do this. It's easier said that done, or is it? We go into his room and he grabs my history book. "Uh here," he says. I think about my next move very carefully and I now know what I'm going to do. I take the book and throw it in the floor. I then grab him and kiss him. He pushes me away. "What's wrong? Scared?" I ask in an intimidating way. "You don't get to do that," he says. I can tell how much he is holding back. I think I've got him. "Says who?" I ask grabbing him and again and pushing him on the bed kissing him. Right when I'm taking his shirt in my hands to get it off, he gently pushes me off again. "What's wrong?" I ask annoyed. "Stop," he says. I laugh. "Why?" I ask. "Because. I don't  want to do this here," he says. "Then let's do it somewhere else," I say and smile a sly smile. He looks at me for a minute. "Fine, not here and not now, and we need to get this finished first," he says. "Okay," I say.
Alyssa P.O.V
I can't. I just can't. I am still standing in the kitchen where Sarah left me. I think I'm having a panic attack. Calm down Alyssa. I'm not going to do it. I need some anxiety medicine. I'm freaking out and shaking. I am not good at this. I quickly go to the medicine cabinet and when I get the pills I'm shaking so bad that they fall out of my hand and fall all out on the floor. I get down to get them and Cameron comes in. I look up at him and he looks at me confused. "Not what it looks like," I say. It looks like I'm trying to kill myself but I'm not. "Well it kind of looks like your trying to kill yourself, and if you are, do while nobody is actually in the house," he says. What a dick. What if I was trying to kill myself? I shake my head. "Whatever," I mumble. "What?" He asks not having the sound of any emotion. "If I wanted you to hear it, I would've said to where you could hear it," I say. "Then who were you taking to? You know I hear people who talk to themselves usually have mental illness's," he says completely logically. I roll my eyes while picking up the last of the pills. Why did he even have to come into my life? Why did I have to like him? Why did he have to like me? I stand up and realize that my anxiety attack stopped. For some reason, I feel safe around him, but when I think about him, I just. . . I turn around, and look at him, just in time my phone rings. I could barely hold the smile. I check and see its Jack. Great just great. I then throw my phone across the kitchen without even thinking. I guess I'm still upset about him breaking up with me. "Damnit,"I say. I then realize Cameron is still in here. I slowly look up. "See you have anger issues. That's another sign of mental illness," he says. "If you knew my reasons, you'd feel the same way, trust me," I say. "No, because I don't have a mental Illness," he says. I flip him off, and he laughs. I go get my phone and find it only has three tiny cracks. I shrug, and turn around. He was now three feet away from me. "How did you get here so fast, and uh why?" I ask. He grabs my waist. "What's wrong with me being close?" He ask in the intimidating way he always does. It's hot in my opinion. Our bodies are now together. I bite my lip. I also bite my lip when I want something, which in this case I do, but it's not right. Just sex. It's just sooo tempting. "Nothing," I say. He then kisses me firmly, in the way he always does. Truth be told, I really like gentle, but I love rough. I really can't do this. I want it so bad though. I can't and I stop. "I can't," I say. "Why?" He asks coming back in. I push him gently off me, but his arms are still wrapped around me. "I really can't," I say. "Why?" He asks. "I just went through a bad break up, and me doing this would be bad character," I say. "What happened?" He asks. "Take a guess," I say looking at him. "Who told him?" He asks with that sexy half smile. "Sarah did, but it doesn't matter. He broke up with me, and that's that," I say. His smile drops. "No one has to know," he says coming back down and kissing me again. He pulls me towards the door to the living room. He then pushes me on the couch and gets on top of me and starts kissing me again. So much for me taking control. Why must he be so attractive? He then starts to pull my shirt up. I don't want to have sex again, just not now. "No please, I really don't want to do that," I say. He looks at me for a minute. "I won't do anything you don't want me to do," he says looking a little hurt. "I'm not a rapist," he says and smiles, a very intimidating smile that makes me want to screw him. "Just not today, not right now," I say. "Okay," he says coming back down and kissing me. After a few minutes a door opens, and get quickly but gently gets up and sits beside me. I sit up and sit by him. My brother walks into the living room a few minutes later. "Cameron, I uh need something," he says. At dusty Cameron looks confused but then a knowing look washes over his face, and he gets up and walks towards him and whispers something to him. A small conversation forms, and then Jake gets a little frustrated. "Why not?" He almost yells. Cameron says something to calm him down, and they talk a little longer and then Jake leaves. Cameron walks back with a strange smile, which is frankly sexy. Actually every face he makes is unbelievably sexy. "What?" I ask referring to the smile he had on his face. "Nothing," he says. He then sits down next to me.