Comfortably Numb ↠ An Original Story

6- I Don't Belong

            I sulked out of the bathroom holding where the sink cracked my head, trying to hide the warm blood I felt running along my palm. I started walking home, even though the school was a good 4 miles from here. Once I finally reached Luke and Alice’s home- my new home- I quietly opened the door and shut it softly behind me. Luke would kill me if he knew I cut school and Alice would use her sweetness, which I believed was fucking hypnotic, to find out why I cut. I stopped halfway up the stairs, hearing voices.

 “-I can’t, Luke!” Alice’s usual beautiful sweet voice was replaced by a voice contorted into anger.

            Luke sighed and retorted, “Where else do you think she can go?! She’s 16, Alice! She has no family that doesn’t hate her guts because our dad went to jail. And besides, the trial is soon. We can’t just leave her at a time like this!” Alice grunted and I heard her stomping away and a door slamming.

            Then I realized, I wasn’t wanted here. I don’t belong here. Alice didn’t want me now, Luke will try to get rid of me later, and no one else wanted me. It would be better off if I were dead…

            Now I didn’t care if they heard me. I stormed up the stairs, more sad than angry. I ran straight for the bathroom, tears threatening to pour. When I was finally there, I shut the door loudly and locked it. I sat on the floor in front of the door and started crying. I never cried when I lived with my dad. It made him mad- let’s just say I ended up with a cracked rib and buying a bunch of concealer.

            “Lex?” Luke’s voice broke me from my flashback I looked to the door and heard Luke’s footsteps half-running half-walking to the bathroom. I kept crying and searched frantically through the cabinets. Got it!

            I opened the small bottle of pills and poured a handful into my palm, holding them tightly like my life depended on them- well it does, in a way. I stared at the pills in my hand, my heart screaming for me to take them but my bran telling me to put them down. My heart won. I stuffed the pills in my mouth and diverted my attention to Luke and Alice’s conversation outside the bathroom.

            “-won’t open!” Luke cried out.

            “Alexandria! Alexandria Ella Parker open this door right now!” Alice said with a strained voice.

            “Lex don’t do anything stupid!” Too late. I thought. “Alice she’s not replying, I think she heard us talking.” He said that part more hushed, in an attempt to not have me hear.

            Then Alice and Luke’s voices became muffled, and black splotches appeared before my eyes. I heard banging on the door; no doubt Luke was trying to open it. The door swung open and Luke sprinted towards me with a worried Alice behind him. But it was too late, for all I saw was blackness. Then I was soaring above the clouds.

* * *

            I opened my eyes and all I saw was a bright light above me. Am I in heaven? I wondered. But don’t people who commit suicide go to hell?

            My eyes adjusted and I realized I was neither in heaven nor hell. I was in a hospital room. I turned my head slowly to the left, in an attempt not to puke my guts up. I saw a chair with a sleeping Luke sitting in it. I reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Goodnight Lukey.” I said softly. His eyes shot open and he grinned ear to ear when he saw I was conscious.

            “Lex?” he asked in a sleepy voice. I nodded carefully and he smiled even more. “D-did you just speak?!”

I smiled a bit and nodded again. “Yes.” I replied, finding my voice. His smile widened more- even though that seemed physically impossible. We went through the whole thing that happened when I talked with Peyton.

“How long was I out?” My voice was almost inaudible; I was scared to talk normally. I didn’t really trust anyone enough to speak freely. Even Luke and Peyton.

“About 11 hours or so.” He answered, still gripping my hand like I would leave if he let go.

“Shit… that’s a while.” I said to myself and he nodded.

“I was worried sick. Don’t ever do that to me again you little buttface.” He chuckled. I laughed along and grinned at him.

“I wouldn’t even think of leaving you.” I told him truthfully.

The door opened and I doctor walked in holding a… needle?! I backed up against the wall next to the bed and Luke grabbed my hand. He muttered reassuring words and after a bit I finally gave in to let the doctor pierce me with the needle. Once she did, I fell into a dreamless sleep.