13- I'll Make You Feel Beautiful Once Again

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“Peytonnnnn!” I whined.

            “Alexxxxx!” He mocked in the same tone. I stuck out my tongue at him and he chuckled. “What’s up, love?”

            “When will I be released from the hospital? I sorta wanna go home and shower. And put on makeup so I don’t look like an ugly fuck.” I complained. “Also this place is creepy, I hate hospitals.” I shuddered at the thought of being stuck in here.

            Peyton rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Three things. One, you’re so dramatic. Two, you’re beautiful without any makeup. Three, you’ll be released at noon today. It’s 10 now.” He announced. He kissed my lips softly and pulled away.

            “What was that for?” I asked, questioning the kiss.

            “Do you feel beautiful now?” He asked seriously, his blue eyes staring deep into mine. They were full of love and concern.

            I smiled and pecked his lips once more. “Now I do.” I lied. I’ll never feel beautiful, with my gross dirty blonde hair and strangely colored blue-gray eyes. They weren’t a pretty stormy color; they were just dull and lifeless. They hid all the pain I’ve experienced in my 16 years of being on this earth.

            Peyton looked at me with more worry, a worried wrinkle forming right above the bridge of his nose. “You’re lying.” He looked at me with more concern. I looked down and nodded in confirmation. He kissed my lips passionately but shortly, tilting my chin up. “I’ll make you feel beautiful once again.” He declared, quoting Hold On ‘Till May by Pierce The Veil.

            Speaking of them, them and the rest of the bands on the Spring Fever Tour- except You Me At Six, they went on their on tour since the last show of Spring Fever was yesterday- were still here in San Francisco.

            I rolled my eyes at Peyton and smirked, but he kept his serious face on. “I mean it.” He told me, still staring into my eyes. I looked down at our intertwined finger and he kissed my forehead.

            Kellin walked with Katelynne and put one hand up. “Sorry, did I interrupt your little coupley thing?” He asked, cradling Copeland with his other hand.

I grinned at the sleeping little girl. “Is that Copeland?” I questioned, reaching out for her. Kellin placed her in my arms and nodded. I rocked her sleeping body and grinned. “She looks like you, Kellin.” I announced.

“Then she’s going to be extremely sexy when she’s older. But I will punch any guy who thinks that. She won’t date until she’s at least 30.” He announced.

I rolled my eyes and grinned at Kellin, “You’re so protective. I’m guessing she’s daddy’s little girl?” I questioned, looking at Katelynne and Kellin for confirmation.

“That she is.” Katelynne chuckled. I smiled at Katelynne and Kellin then looked back down at Copeland. What if Peyton and me end up like that; married happily, with a little boy or girl, and living a perfect life. I could become a poet like I always dreamed when I was little, and Peyton can live whatever his dream is. I smiled at the thought but quickly but pushed the thought out of my head.

He would never want to marry me, even date me if he knew my secrets. He already knows I was abused and all about my dad somehow, maybe Luke told him when Peyton and I started dating. But he would never want to me near me if he knew to what extent. The thought of the scars sprawled across my stomach launched me into a flashback.

 

**Flashback**

            “Dad?” I said softly, entering the house. I just got home from school, the first day of middle school- 7th grade- to be specific. I found empty and broken beer bottles on the floor. I felt myself start getting panicked so I dug my nails into my palm to stop myself from crying. My breathing slowed down and I shut the door softly.

            My dad appeared, grinning. But not friendly and warmly like my mother’s smile once was, his was more of an insane and angry smile. I dug my nails deeper, in an attempt to not cry.

I wish I saw the knife; my life would’ve been so much easier. And less painful; both physically and emotionally.

I was about to question what was up when he pulled out the knife. I gasped a sharp breath and attempted to run out the door. But my dad was to fast; he grabbed my wrist tightly and twisted it, pulling me back to him. “Don’t run from me.” He spat. He pushed me on the ground and stabbed the knife into my now exposed stomach. My shirt was ripped at the bottom, revealing my stomach up to my ribs. I screamed out and he clamped my mouth shut, sticking a rag in it. I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I would’ve died the second he stabbed me. It would’ve saved me a lot of pain. He wrote out something on my stomach, but I was in too much pain to look down and see it.

Once he was finished with my stomach, he whispered into my ear “Die, bitch.” Then I blacked out, hoping I would die.

**Flashback Over**

 

            “Alexandria?” Kellin’s voice brought me back to reality. I blinked my eyes a few times and looked up at him.

            “Hm?” I softly said, looking into his deep blue depths of eyes.

            “You okay?” He asked, clearly concerned. “You spaced out for about five minutes or so.” I nodded and realized I was still rocking Copeland in my arms. I smiled down at her and she returned my smile with a giggling face.

            Katelynne said something to Kellin and he nodded. “Alright well we gotta go take Copeland home. We’ll meet you outside the hospital at noon.” He announced, taking Copeland from my arms. She released her hand, which was wrapped around my finger and reached for her father. He grinned and together, he, Cope, and Katelynne walked out.

            Once they were gone, Peyton looked at me worried. “You sure you’re okay?” He questioned. I knew he wouldn’t believe if I lied, so I told the truth. Kinda.

            “Just thinking…” I told him, playing with our intertwined fingers. He put his arms around my waist, pulling me closer.

            “About what?” He asked, kissing my head softly.

            I sighed and looked into his worried eyes. I was tempted to lie so I wouldn’t have to be put threw a pity party by Peyton, but I ended up telling the truth subconsciously without even realizing it. “My father.” I revealed truthfully.

Authors Note: Pic of Alexandria to the side!

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