I Used To Obsess Over Living, Now I Only Obsess Over You.

2.March

I stood a Gerard's grave examining the spray paint. Was that even a nice thing to say to somebody, insane but human. Seems a bit rude, maybe he was clinically insane. But it didn't really seem like it.

But now my thoughts were set back on when I would see someone interesting again, out of all the people I would see walk this grave to go morn or find some kind of acceptance even though it was forever going to be a shitty thing and deep down their not trying to mend, their trying to replace the thought.

I haven't seen Gerard in a whole month. The last and first time we talked was that night Mikey came to visit him. It was nice having Gerard here since I am literally the only ghost here but, why though? It might sound a little morgue but with over 300 corpses in the ground, and the realization that ghost do exist, why were me and Gerard the only ones?

I wonder what everyone is doing right now. I mean anyone and everyone. Living their life, praying, going out, and falling in love... I actually miss it. I would do anything just to go back in the normal life routine of waking up and just trying to live my life. I left behind my friends and family. I left behind those people I've met playing those gigs too. It was so much fun. They'd tried to sing along even though they had never heard a song by us in their life. That was how I met Andy Hurley. Joe, Patrick and I's first concert Andy came up to us after the show and simply asked could he play drums. We didn't even have a drummer for the first gig, just a drum set, which belonged to Patrick. I don't know what possessed him to ever be in are band but he fit in well and played well.

I left behind Island Records too. Everyone was so proud of us, we were making are third full length album. I wonder if they would continue to make the album. We had already had a demo to are song, 'Thriller'. It wasn't much at the time but I have to commend Andy for his part in the Chorus, which we willingly decided to keep in the song. We even had Jay-Z to make an intro for that song, which are producer Neil Avron somehow convinced to be in the song. But out of scribbled lyrics and guitar riffs it was only the beginning to the album. I really do hope they continued it. They wouldn't need me for it. They could do amazing thing without me and the lyrics and basslines I come up with at times.

Again when night arrived and the cemetery was closed, someone still decided to break the rules and come in at 9 PM. Maybe it was Mikey again.

I walk over to the front gate to find the same boy in the same petticoat and beanie from a month ago. This time though, he was face first in the ground with his left foot stuck on the wire gates. Next to him was a acoustic guitar, with not even a strap.

I wanted to actually look at the guitar more but I realized that I should probably try to help the poor guy and not pick around with his instrument.

Mikey started to shake his foot that was stuck in the gate as he lifted himself off the ground with his hands. I tried focus on the gate until I felt my hand grasp the gate wires. I pushed back on the wires in fear that I did something bad.

"What the hell?" Mikey and I yelled at the same time, for different reasons obviously. It's like I gained magic ghost powers.

I started to laugh because he fell right back into the grass, with his foot unstuck to the gate now. I wish I could help him up but when I tried to reach for his hand, my hand went straight through his.

Mikey grumbled as he picked himself off the ground. This man was probably in his 20s yet he looked so young and dorky. It was cute though, I was intrigued by him for some reason. I wanted know more about the awkward specimen, along with his brother.

Once again he traveled to Gerard's gravestone carrying his guitar and amp in his gloved hands. He didn't try to wipe the dirt off his face or anything, just keep to his main focus without care for his own self.