I Used To Obsess Over Living, Now I Only Obsess Over You.

6.July

"Gerard..." I took his transparent hand away from mine. I didn't know exactly where I was going with this. Assuming I could never win in an argument against someone trying to lookout for their own brother.

"I'm just trying to help him, he's depressed." I kept looking over to Mikey who keep looking at his phone.

"Don't you think I know that?" He barked at me right after I mentioned the word. I had obviously chosen the wrong thing to say.

"But look at him. He is so much happier. When was the last time you seen him smile." I looked at him longingly, but with sadness in my eyes. I just want to do something right again and helping Mikey was the one right thing I was doing correctly.

Gerard turned back to see Mikey looking around calling my name. Gerard backed away and sighed.

"You're right...But you have to break this little thing up soon. Because in the long run you could end up breaking my brothers' heart with this and I swear if you do." Gerard grip tightened around my hand once again.

"Okay, okay. Let me get back to him now. We'll talk later okay Gerard."

"Okay." He tightly shut his eyes then slowly opened them. He took another sigh and left.

"We'll hang out more later!" I yelled towards his back.

When I got back over to Mikey I immediately ran over and hugged him from behind. He instantly yelped but it soon turned into giggles as he bent over and clutched at his stomach.

His laughter made me smile. It sounded so carefree and youthful.

"Wait be careful-" I tried to say aloud. We took a few steps together before we fell into the grass, me breaking Mikey's fall.

He looked down at me, smiling but it quickly went away. He rolled off of me to my side and laid down.

"What are we?" He payed attention at the now blackened sky, stars beginning to show.

I leaned up to find my new phone in the grass to text Mikey.

'Sweet Little Dudes, remember?.' I texted to Mikey. It sounded child-like but I thought it was cute. I'm Mikey's dead friend. Okay; maybe it sounded kind of morbid. But I liked morbid and fucked up.

I looked at him as he read my message and bit his lip.

'You should go now Mikey. Get home safely.' I texted before he could reply. We were just friends weren't we? I hope he didn't want anything more than that. Even though I couldn't deny I gotten lost in his eyes a couple of times.

I stood up and grabbed for him while he was on the ground. He understood quickly and grabbed my own hand letting me pull him up.

"Thanks again Pete, for everything." His eyes pierced into mine when he said it. He then walked away, slightly slouching.

'I miss you already' I wrote though he was just a few feet away.

Mikey then turned around and flicked me off. I was a bit taken aback. Mikey was anything but offensive, how could he do such a thing? I laugh it off and gaze into the night, paralyzed almost. It was a weird form of sleep ghost have to go through. Maybe there was a way to actually go to sleep no other ghost could tell me about.

But after that Mikey stopped coming to the cemetery. Maybe I was over reacting because it had only been four days. I couldn't help my bad thoughts of what Mikey could have been doing without me by his side. He was pretty smiley with me those four days ago but that's not exactly how his brain seemed to work, mine either. The thoughts can stop for a while. It feels like your heart lifting back up, it finally feels like it's pumping correctly but the sunken feeling could come back at any time. Just certain triggers.