The Wilderness

Say Something

Amanda opened the door to find her husband of eight years on Andrew's doorsteps, pleading for her forgiveness.

"I'm so sorry" He sadly says, looking at her with the eyes that she would forgive, but don't want to. So Amanda look away for a while, thinking. "Why is he standing here when I don't want him here?" She questioned. She just shook her head, still not looking at him and went to close the door, when his foot went to stop it. That is when she made the mistake of looking. Those eyes were pleading for forgiveness for what he did, but she can't. The next thing she knew, his face was red and Amanda had a red mark on her hand. She could not believe what she had done. She slapped him hard on his right cheek. Then she saw the eyes again, looking hurt, but he have no right to look hurt, especially after what he had done to her. She couldn't take the staring contest of her glaring and him looking---no, pleading and the hurt, She just couldn't take it anymore. So she spoke—or more likely yelled.

"Stop, Okay!" He looked at Amana shocked at her outburst. Amanda started to look down because from what she was about to say next will truly break his heart. "I'm tired."

"Okay well I could---" She started to shake her head, which caught his attention. He doesn't get it at all.

"No. No." Amanda chanted and looking down because what she is about to say will be the true heartbreaker. "I'm not tired. I-I'm tired." She stressed, hoping that would go to his ears but it didn't. She was really hoping that she would not have to explain. "Peter, listen" He nods in looks directly, directly, in Amanda's eyes and she almost did not want to tell him about what needs to be said. "Peter," Amanda drew out, being cautious. "Every time something tragic, or horrible happens, like a patient, or something much, much, worse than that---you blow up like this ticking bomb that want exactly explode, unless there's one little tiny thing that will cause it and I somehow get trapped in that explosion. Peter, all I have been trying to do is help you, but I can't do that when you're---like this." Amanda gestured her hands up and down to get the point across. Amanda knew that she may be hurting him now, but it needs to be said. So she continued, "How are you here asking for forgiveness when you'd done it three times? How can I trust you when every time I do, it's the same thing that happens time after time? How would I know you want do it again? I am running on low Peter. One minute I forgive you and the next you do it again. We keep running in circles here. I am dizzy wanting to stop. Peter, you got to understand that I am not someone who you can toy around with. Eight years Peter, that's got to count. Don't give up on it." Amanda whispered the last part hoping he wouldn't hear it, but she knew he did. He stood there trying to take it in as best as he could. After some moments he finally spoke, but the words I'm sorry didn't come out his mouth.

Words. That all it takes for a person to either explode, or to be hurt.

"I didn't have anyone, I have no one" He declared, as if that wouldn't hurt Amanda.

Amanda stared, or more likely glared at him. "How could he say this? After everything, he says this." Amanda screamed in her mind. Her mind, brain, was trying to come up with a message to say, tell him, but it couldn't because she is hurt. That is when everything fell apart. Her mind shift to a whole new diversion.

"How could you Peter! You have someone." Amanda yelled, angrily moving her hands everywhere. "You have me and our son, Peter!"

He stared at her as if she was the most stupid person in the world.

"Get. Out!" Amanda had had enough. "What's more can he say, now that my heart is torn to little bits of pieces?" again Amanda thought. But thing that hurt Amanda the most is he actually believe it. Words. That is all it took for Amanda to break down, but she didn't, especially if he doesn't get out.