Will This Ever Get Better?

Will This Ever Get Better? Part 3

“Sierra?  Sierra?”  Jake said, then I looked up and he continued, “Are you okay?  You look really pale and just spaced out for a few minutes…”

“Sorry, I’m fine.  Look, Jake, there’s something you don’t know about me.  There’s something you don’t know about my life.”  I told him.

“What is it?  You can trust me, you can tell me anything.”  He ensured me.

“I don’t know.  I mean, I trust you, but it’s complicated.”  I told him.

“Sierra, we can’t hide things from one another if we want to have a good, healthy relationship.  He said.

“I know, I know, but…I can’t.  I’m sorry, I just can’t…”  I trailed.  My eyes started to water but I held back.

“Please?  Sierra, you can trust me, no matter what I’m here for you.”  He told me.

This is the moment of truth.  Can I trust him or not?  “Look, Jake, it’s nit that I don’t trust you it’s that only one other person knows…”  I explained.

“Okay, let me make this easy for you then.”  He said.

“Thank you, Jake.  Thank you so much.  I’m glad you understand. Thank-“  He cut me off.

“Don’t thank me yet.”

“What? But-“

“Look, either you tell me and we have no secrets or-or it’s over.”  He stated.

I looked at him in disbelief.  Is he serious?  He can’t be.  He wouldn’t break up with me over something like that, would he?  I looked at him and studied his face.

“You-you’re serious?”  I asked.  He nodded and it looked like he was in pain, like this is hurting him.  No, he can’t be hurting.  He’s the one doing this.  “I can’t believe this.”  My eyes began watering.  “You would really break up with me because of something like this…”

“Sierra-“

“No.  No. No.  You can’t try to sweet talk me.  You can’t try and talk your way out of this.  You can’t try and blame this on me.  If you’re fine with breaking up with me over something this- this stupid! Then, obviously you don’t care about me.”

“Sierra, stop-“  He tried again, but I cut him off.

“No, Jake, you stop.  If you’re willing to break up with me over something like this then obviously you don’t care about me, and if you don’t care about me there’s no way I’m telling you anything.”  I finished.

“Sierra , I didn’t mean it.  I-I-I just said it to try and get you to tell me.  That was stupid.  I’m sorry.”

I took a deep breathe, not believing what I’m about to do.  “Yeah, that was stupid, because now, it’s over.”  I got up and walked to my car before he could catch up.  Once I was in my car I looked up and saw him running toward it, so I quickly pulled out.

I drove home, thankful that it was only a short drive, and just sat in my car.  Then realizatio kicked in.

I just broke up with Jake.

I’m single again.

I have to call Mackenzie.

I pulled out my phone and saw a text from Jake.  I ignored it and dialed Mackenzie’s number.

“Hello?”  I heard her cheery voice say.

“Mackenzie!”  I yelled.

“Sierra?  Are you okay?”  She asked, concern clear in her voice.