Will This Ever Get Better?

Will This Ever Get Better? Part 2

When I got home I dropped off my book bag and was surprised to see that both of my parents were gone.  At least I won’t have to deal with them until later.  I made way to the kitchen and got something to eat before I have to go get Morgan.

When I finally go get Morgan I park my car and walk over to where she walks out.  When she sees me her face lights up and she runs and hugs me.

“Would you like to go to one of your friends houses today?”  I asked her.

“Sure!”  She said and ran to a little girl with short brown hair.  Her mother looked at Morgan and then at me, I could tell he thought I was Morgan’s mother.  Morgan walked back over to me, grabbed my hand, and started weakly pulling me toward her friend.

“Hello,” Her friend’s mother said, “My name is Lisa.  Are you Morgan’s mother?”

I let out a small laugh and said, “No, I’m her sister.”

“Oh, okay, sorry.  I just wasn’t sure because Morgan was talking very highly about you.  It sounds like she really looks up to and adores you.”  Lisa told me.

“Well, my parents aren’t the best role models so I’m really the only one she has.”  I answered.

“Well it’s great that you’re there for her and you can do that at such a young age.  How old are you?”  She asked.

“Sixteen.”  I answered.

“Sixteen?  Really?” I chuckled and nodded  “You look older and carry yourself very well for being that young.”  Lisa finished and her daughter started tugged on her arm.

“Mommy, can we go now?  Stop talking!”  She said.

“Emma, be patient.”  She told her daughter before turning back to me.  “Do you mind if the kids have a little play date?  Or do you have to check with your parents?”

“It’s fine.  My parents won’t mind.  I’m actually the one who suggested Morgan go to a friend’s house today.  Is it okay if they go with you?  I have something to take care of.”  I told her.

“Okay, that’s fine, but I would really like to get to know you better.  Would you like to go out to lunch or get coffee sometime?”  She asked.

Wow, she’s really nice.  She looks like she’s in her mid twenties yet she’s okay with befriending a teenager.  “That sounds great.”  I said and she looks really happy.

We exchanged phone numbers and I told Morgan goodbye before taking her book bag and heading back to my car.  I threw Morgan’s book bag in the backseat and texted Jake telling him to meet me at the playground by my house.  Then, I started my car and drove to the playground.

As I drove to the playground I couldn’t stop thinking about Jake.  I’m scared and anxious to tell him.  I’m scared he’s going to freak out and break up with me and anxious to tell someone other than Mackenzie.

When I got to the playground I parked.  There’s only one other car here, that I recognize to be Jake’s, and one person on the playground.  I can’t quite see who the person is but I’m sure it’s Jake.

I walked toward the person which I soon made out as Jake.  He’s sitting on a swing looking down at the ground.  When I get within a few yards of him I stop, I can’t make myself move forward.  His brown hair is covering his eyes as he hears me stop he slowly looks up.  When his head is up he did a hair flip so his brown hair moved and his crystal blue eyes were revealed.

He motioned toward the swing next to him.  I walked over to the swing, sat down, and began swinging lightly.  My eyes are on my feet but I can feel Jake’s eyes on me.

“Sierra…”  He trailed.

I looked up and he’s looking at me, I think he can really see me.  He’s not just seeing me on the outside; he’s seeing all of the hurt and sadness I’ve held in for so long.  The wall I’ve built and kept up for so long is finally coming down; I’m finally starting to trust someone other than Mackenzie.

“Yes?” I asked weakly.

“What’s going on?  What have you been hiding from me?”  He asked.

“Jake…”  I trailed.  I started to think about telling him.  If he really cares about me he’ll probably not take it well and overreact.  That’s what happened when I told Mackenzie.

When I told Mackenzie she wanted to call the police or social services.  I can’t let that happen.  If Social Services are called and informed Morgan and I could be separated.  Morgan has had a rough enough childhood, she doesn’t need to lose me, the one person n the family who has been a part of her life, who takes care of her, and has protected her.

I can’t tell him.  I can’t.  I can’t take the risk.  I just hope he’ll understand.

“I haven’t been hiding anything.”  I lied.

“Sierra, don’t lie to me.  I know you’ve been hiding something.  Please, baby, tell me what’s going on.  You can trust me.”  He told me.

“I-I-I-“  I broke off.

Should I tell him?  It could help to open up to someone.  Maybe it would be best to tell someone else.

I don’t know what to do…