My Section of Dysfunction

Chapter 17

         The door releases a drawn out creek as I attempt to sneak inside.
    "Faye?" A scratchy croak echoes from upstairs.
     "I'll be up in a second." I call back. I really didn't think this through. I had every excuse to avoid any conversation that was about to be had. I could avoid them like the plague and act like nothing ever happened. If I were smart I would shut them out. It would definitely be easier. They wouldn't blame me for anything. They wouldn't ask why. They'd act like nothing happened either until it caught up with them.
The only thing that pulls me up the stairs is the possibility of getting my answers. I throw my backpack on the couch where it lands with a thud and take the stairs one at a time, my hand grazing the smooth wooden rail.
   I pause at the top stair and wait. Silence. My foots steps seem to grow louder in contrast against the quiet atmosphere. As I turn into the room Aunt Kali raises her ailing eyes to meet mine. Her bony chest rises in slow, shakes breaths like a sputtering motor. She raises her cracked lips into her perfect paradox of a sad smile.
  Gabi sits beside her bed with her hands placed neatly in her lap.
"Ask us anything. We won't lie to you." She says carefully enunciating each word.
"It seems to me the people only feel sorry about lying after they get caught in one." I mumble. After no response I continue.
"Why'd you keep her letters from me?" I ask, keeping my eyes fixed on my worn, black converse.
"By the time I realized how wrong I was it was too late. I'd  already dug myself too deep." Aunt Kali says with no evident emotion. She runs a shaky hand across her almost bald head before slowly lowering it back to her side.
"There wasn't a right time to tell you. I knew that when you found out you would hate me, but that happened anyway. I took away your relationship with your mother. I will forever be sorry and I know no matter how many times I say I'm sorry it won't be enough."
She said, looking more defeated than ever.
   Each time I see her it's like another part of her disappears. It's getting harder to imagine what she was like before she was diagnosed. I see the cancer more than her sometimes. Aunt Kali's cold, emotionless eyes and frail body are not who she is. She's strong, lively, a beaming light. The person in front of me looks like she could be broken by a single touch. Aunt Kali before and Aunt Kali after are two very different people from two very different worlds.
    " I need to forgive you." I whisper, focusing on the dark swirls of her wooden bed post.
    " I'm trying to forgive you."  I partly lie.
I know I need to forgive her, that's simple enough. You have to forgive someone who's dying, not only for their sake but yours.
    " That's all I can ask for." She replies calmly.
The room falls silent once again. My eyes bounce from one expressionless face to the other. I realize for the first time how much they look alike. Same thin face with sharp cheek bones that make the dark circles under their eyes more prominent. Same pink lips pushed into a thin line. In another life they could be stunning if sleepless nights and the stress of life hasn't got in the way.
"Faye." Aunt Kali begins. "Why don't you and Gabi go out and talk? You could use some time together."
" Dont feel like you have too I-" Gabi speaks up quickly.
"Let's go." I interrupt.
Gabi's face breaks into a smile as surprise manifests in her eyes.
    I stroll through the door and down the stairs with Gabi's footsteps following closely behind.
                          ~
   I sat in the passenger seat of my Volkswagen without much thought. After a moment of hesitation Gabi took the drivers seat. No conversation was had. I didn't know where we were going and for once I didn't care. I turn on the radio and lean my head back against the seat with my eyes closed. For once I let her lead me.