Two Hearts Apart

Chapter 10: Hafsah

Hafsah Ismail, only daughter of Jameel and Nafeesa Ismail had long ago grown accustomed to the limelight. Born on a cold winter's night in a small town in Nelspruit, Hafsah was instantly adored.

Jameel had met Nafeesa, the eldest daughter of rich and powerful Faisel Khan, on a routine business trip to Nelspruit. 27 year old Jameel had been working for his father in one of his spice shops in Johannesburg when his father had sent him to review business plans for the new deal between his father and Faisel Khan. Romance was in the air when Jameel Ismail first laid eyes on 23 year old Nafeesa Khan. Nafeesa, known throughout the town for her exquisite beauty and refined manners, had received many proposals from potential suitors but had never been interested in marriage; that is until Jameel came along. Jameel himself was very handsome and, due to his father's string of spice shops, was very rich too. Faisel Khan and his wife Salma were overjoyed when Jameel asked for Nafeesa's hand in marriage and the wedding arrangements soon began; a wedding that turned out to be the not-to-be-missed event of the year that spanned over a course of 5 days. Jameel's father Zunaid, who himself resided in Johannesburg, was glad that his eldest son, who was popular with the ladies, had finally decided to settle down. Satisfied by Jameel's bride and his new in-laws, he proceeded to open a new spice shop in Nelspruit that Jameel would run and own; a present for the delighted newlyweds.

The wedding had been perfect; the marriage, however, was far from it. What started out as a whirlwind romance quickly turned into wedded woes as the couple soon started realizing the reality of marriage. Jameel, who travelled often to Johannesburg for business purposes, soon began to irritate himself with the reality that his wife was, as he put it, 'a rich spoilt brat'. Nafeesa, on the other hand, began to grow weary of Jameel's high demands and increased expectations of her. On introspection one could probably find one hundred and one things wrong with their marriage: they could not communicate effectively; they both shared unrealistic expectations of each other and the marriage; instead of appreciating each others differences, they resented it; and they both happened to share a dangerous quality- pride. Before long the beautiful couple began to grow apart.

Five years into their marriage Nafeesa and Jameel welcomed the news that they were expecting a baby girl. Jameel, who had always dreamt of a big family, was delighted. Nafeesa, who had been harbouring a fear that she would never be able to conceive, welcomed the news of the baby as an opportunity to mend her marriage and unite the estranged couple. On a night in July under the care of a midwife, Hafsah Ismail entered the world into the rejoicing arms of her beaming parents.

Hafsah, as her mother proudly boasted, was a peaceful baby. With her cheerful countenance, chubby cheeks, and delightful smile, everybody took an instant liking to her. For a time being, as her mother had hoped, Hafsah provided the family with the comfort, unity and joy that had previously been lacking. Their marital problems, however, quickly began to resurface and the couple found themselves engaged in increasing fights and unpleasant arguments.

It was a bright summer's day when Nafeesa's world forever changed. She would remember how she rejoiced at the sunlight after days of rain; she would remember how she happily played with six year old Hafsah while Jameel was at work; she would also, unfortunately, remember the visitor who had decided to stop by. The woman stood in their long entrance hallway; she called herself Ameera; she complimented the beautiful flower arrangements; she said kind words to little Hafsah and then, once she had taken a seat in the large sitting room, she told Nafeesa what Nafeesa had silently been dreading; that for the past seven years she and Jameel had been having an affair. She provided details of secret liasons, she told Nafeesa about discussions they had shared: how much he loved his daughter, how he had grown apart from his wife, and how he planned to divorce her, keep the child and spend the rest of his life with her, Ameera. In less than an hour Nafeesa's world had come tumbling down.

The reason for Ameera's visit was simple: revenge. After years of promising her that he would leave his wife, after years of planning; Ameera had finally realised that Jameel's promises were, in fact, lies. She had given him an ultimatum: he would have to choose between his wife and his mistress. Jameel chose his wife. Ameera, outraged at Jameel, had promised that she would have her revenge and that she would destroy his life. She had promised that if she could not be happy with him, she would not leave him to be happy with his family. Ameera sat here now because unlike Jameel, she always kept her promises. That night, when Nafeesa heard the sound of Jameel's car, she instructed Hafsah to go to her bedroom and to stay there for the rest of the night. Hafsah heard the screaming and shouting, she heard the crying, she heard the breaking of dishes and the slamming of doors; but being the obedient child that she was, she never left her room.

The news of the affair quickly began doing its rounds and very soon everybody knew of Jameel's indiscretion. While neighbourhood people encouraged Nafeesa to leave her husband and while her parents begged her to return home, Nafeesa was determined to remain in her marriage.

Little Hafsah quickly grew accustomed to the change around the house. She became the go between for her parents who communicated with each other through her. She grew accustomed to her mothers constant silent sobbing and her father's sullen quietness. She learned to accept the absence of laughter, her mother's constant complaints of her father and the loneliness that she faced every day. "A man can ruin you" her mother would tell her, "Nothing else can ruin you like a man can ruin you. You remember my words- don't ever get stuck like I did."

For seven years life continued like this. Thirteen year old Hafsah, who had never known another home, automatically assumed that all families were like hers- not even being able to comprehend the joy and happiness that her family lacked. For seven years she saw how her parents grew further and further apart, until her father would go away on business trips for weeks, and even months apart. Then, one Sunday afternoon, Nafeesa suffered a heart attack and passed away before the ambulance could arrive- leaving behind a guilt-stricken Jameel and a heartbroken Hafsah.

The neighbourhood people suddenly became very hostile. Blaming Jameel for putting Nafeesa through grief and for weakening her heart, they no longer wanted anything to do with him. Him, by extension, meant Hafsah. Nafeesa's parents, angry at Jameel, regretted ever allowing their daughter to marry him. They insisted they wanted nothing to do with him or Hafsah who, to them, was a constant reminder of mistakes of the past. Jameel, embarrassed to return to his parents in Johannesburg, resolved to remain with his daughter in the community despite their increased ostracism. With no companionship, a failing business, guilt, and overwhelming regret; Jameel Ismail slowly wasted away.

It was two years later when fifteen year old Hafsah Ismail realised that she had grown into a beautiful woman. She also realised that, in her beauty, laid a great power. After spending years in solitude and loneliness and countless hours feeling inadequate and invisible; Hafsah relished the attention that her looks generated, and this attention became an addiction. Hafsah began devoting more of her time to the boys that were smitten by her. She began spending longer hours out of the house and more time in front of the mirror. Unnoticed by her father, Hafsah also started coming home a little later every night. It was in these trysts- these secret relationships, that Hafsah began feeling an inkling of self-worth and she soon began to equate the quality of herself with the quality of her looks.

It didn't take long for Hafsah to gain a bad reputation though she, who had long since given up on the community, didn't seem to care. Unable to give of herself emotionally, Hafsah gave of herself physically and believed that without all this, she would once again disappear into obscurity.

Despite the occasional rumours that Jameel had been hearing concerning his daughter, he continued to remain absorbed in his own world of guilt and sorrow and chose to ignore the ongoing destruction of his young and vulnerable daughter. One day, however, Jameel had returned home from work early when he found Hafsah alone in her bedroom with a boy. She insisted that nothing had happened yet but Jameel, now fully realising the potential consequences of his daughter's ways, understood that something needed to be done. One week later, despite Hafsah's wishes; despite her tears and pleas; despite her promises and guarantees, Jameel packed up all her belongings and sent her to live with his parents in Johannesburg. What he failed to realise is that Hafsah's problems was a direct result of his mistakes. In sending her away he wasn't really solving her problems and resolving her issues; instead he was just shifting the responsibility to somebody else.