CHAPTER 1: Kims POV
I remember being a nervous 20 year old and walking into that room when I first auditioned for Popstars. I just knew I wanted to live my dream, wanted the perfect job, the perfect lifestyle and just to get out of Bradford. What I didn't know was that through living that dream, I would end up meeting 3 of my bestest friends and the love of my life. The first time I laid eyes on Cheryl was at the dance rehearsals on Popstars. I just remember thinking she looked stunning. The way her body moved and her dimples shone under the light, I couldn't help staring and I knew then that I wanted to get to know her even if it was just through friendship. The first time we slept together was the night that I entered the Popstars house, I had just been asked to replace one of the other girls so we were celebrating my arrival. We had already become firm friends by then and cheryl had cried when i originally hadnt been put through. So this moment brought us to fill ourselves with takeaway and countless drinks. Nicola was in another girls room and Amy had already gone home so we had our room to ourselves.
It started with a drunken kiss which soon lead to more... I tried to pass it off as just a one-off but I knew I had serious feelings for my new friend, I just never realised she felt the same. It was one year later when we finally talked about our feelings and decided to give us a go. we couldnt have cared less at that particular moment how the girls our families or the record label could take it. We were in our own little bubble and thats all that mattered. We told the girls a week later, They were actually happy for us and Nadine said she always realised we had feelings for eachother and wondered when we would figure it out ourselves. Our families were quite open minded so telling them was not a problem either but Hilary flipped. She couldnt believe that we wanted to risk jeopardising the careers of the the girls and the future of the band. It took her two whole weeks to come round and finally agree to release a statement.
Just a year later and I proposed. We were in the middle of our chemistry tour and I was head over heels in love. I knew what I wanted and that was Cheryl. I chose to do it whilst we were on stage in Newcastle as that was her home town and I knew her family would be there. We had just sang Whole lotta history and the crowd were wild, I got handed the ring and said a whole speech. The girls sang quietly in the background as I dropped onto one knee and asked her. She said yes of course. She loved me just as much or so I thought. 6 months later and we were married. I was the happiest I had ever been and nothing could stand in my way. Id just married the love of my life in a beautiful ceremony, the band were going strong, we had just got our 3rd number one and had got nominated for a Brit. Life was perfect. 16 months later and our first daughter, Summer was born and 2 years after that Kara was born. We were happy then and for the next 5 years... Until Cheryl broke my heart. On top of that, I had to find out from a kiss and tell story in the paper, how she went home with some tramp called Emily and how theyd had sex all night.
Cheryl had the cheek to come home the next day and lie to me. 'Xfactor meeting ran late, I stayed at Dannii's' she said. And because I hung off her every word I believed her. It was only when it made the paper that she couldnt lie anymore and I had to let her go. That brings me to the present, I have just spent the worst two weeks of my life just sitting in a cold hotel room, avoiding the outside world with just my 7 year old daughter for company. I'm hurt, I'm lost and I just want this pain to end. I am aware that as I sit here she is boarding a flight to california with our 5 year old daughter and I might never see them again. But at this moment in time, I am so hurt that I am willing to let her go. I didnt consider how our break up or her leaving would affect the band or how it would affect our daughter who just wants her mammy. I was in too much turmoil to consider anything.
