Chapter 39: Kim’s POV
I was sat on the sofa in Nicola’s lounge; Nicola and Nadine were sat opposite me. ‘Congratulations’ they had both screeched when they had seen the ring, they were almost as happy as I was. We continued to talk and catch up over coffee. We were laughing so hard that I didn’t hear my phone ring the first time or the second or the third and so on. It was Nadine who heard it, I asked her to answer it for me because she was heading into the kitchen anyways. The next thing I heard was Nadine walking back in whilst saying ‘Kara slow down, babe, calm down, whats happened?’ I started to panic, something had happened at home and I hadnt been there. Nadine passed me the phone with an unreadable expression on her face. ‘Babe, whats going on?’ I asked, ‘Slow down, what… No… whats wrong…. Is she going to be ok… I knew that something was wrong…. Why did she lie to me and tell me she was fine’ I cried down the phone. ‘No babe, im on my way, I’ll be there as quick as I can, bye’ I said before hanging up.
‘Cheryl’s in hospital, she collapsed’ I cried, Nadine and Nic ran over and wrapped there arms around me, ‘Oh Babe, what happened, is she going to be ok?’ Nicola asked, ‘They don’t know, they are running loads of tests to try to figure out whats wrong. My babys unwell and I wasn’t there for her’ I cried into Nadines shoulder, her grip around me got tighter. ‘Babe, this wasn’t your fault’ Nadine whispered, ‘But I knew something was wrong, I knew she looked unwell but I just sat back and listened to her when she said she was fine’ I screamed before letting more tears fall. ‘Babe, she was just trying to protect you, she didn’t want you to worry, she loves you and cares about you so much’ Nadine whispered. ‘But sometimes I don’t need protecting Nadine! She needs protecting more than I do, shes got all the problems and I vowed to be there for her and look after her! How can I do that when she won’t even be honest with me’ I screamed. ‘Come on, she needs you to be strong for her Kim. Lets just get ready and go to the hospital, yeah babe. Lets not freak out until we know whats wrong’ Nadine smiled. I just nodded, grabbed my jacket and walked out the door, wiping my eyes as I went.
I had all these all these thoughts and feelings in my head and I didn’t know how to deal with them. I was scared, upset and angry but part of me was also happy at remembering our engagement and the proposal. I ran in through the main entrance, straight up to reception; ‘Cheryl Tweedy’ I screamed, the receptionists head shot up to face me with a sympathetic look obviously knowing straight away who I was, ‘I don’t need your sympathy, now where is she’ I snapped, she just pointed down the hall and muttered an appology followed by a room number. I raced down the corridor with Nadine and Nicola close behind me. ‘Mum’ came a voice, I raced up to Kara who was sat in a chair staring at a closed door that obviously lead to Cheryl’s private room. I ran up to her and wrapped my arms around her as we boith cried. ‘wheres Summer, why are you sat out here’ I questioned, wiping my thumbs over her damp cheeks. ‘Summer went to get a drink and they are still carrying out tests, we are not allowed in’ Kara sighed.
I finally saw a doctor making his way over to me, ‘may I have a word’ he said quietly, ‘you can tell me in front of all of them, they are going to have to know eventually’ I snapped, he just nodded in response. ‘Whats wrong with her’ I asked with my fear showing through. He opened his mouth to speak; ‘we found a tumour in her liver’, I gasped and just started shaking my head and muttering ‘No no no no no’ over again, id lost all ability to breath and I was struggling to talk. ‘Cancer’ I murmered, it was so quiet, I could barely hear the word myself. ‘we need to check it for cancer cells but there is a high possibility’ I felt myself shaking uncontrollably as I slid down the wall onto the floor and put my head in my hands. I raised my head slightly showing my tear stricken cheeks, ‘Will she die’ I asked quietly, ‘Theres a possibility… but theres also a possibility she may live, we caught it early enough for it to be surgically removed’ the doctor explained quietly. ‘but theres still a possibility… its like only a 50/50 chance. I cant lose her, ive only just got her back, I need her’ I screamed. ‘im so so sorry miss walsh’ the doctor spoke sympathetically, ‘I don’t need your *Ducking* sympathy, I need my *Ducking* fiance god damn it’ I yelled. He nodded before walking off down the corridor.
I sat there on the floor against that wall in that white corridor and cried. I watched as Nadine comforted Kara and Summer, I watched as Nicola stared through the window into Cheryls hospital room, I watched as a doctor told someone further down the corridor that they were going to survive, I watched as they told someone else that they were going to die. I took deep breaths as I glanced at all the different people and I nodded as I realised that I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t watch her die, I couldn’t watch her go through this. I wanted to leave, I couldn’t stand hospitals and I felt boxed in. I was going to leave, I needed to have some space and time alone tonight and then I would come back tomorrow and sit by Cheryl’s bed holding her hand. I would watch her as she realised that she may die, I would watch her as she realised I may never see her again, I would watch her as she realised she may never be able to dance again, I would watch her as she came to terms with the fact that she may be leaving her daughters. Above all I would watch her as we both realised that we may never get to see eachother walking down that aisle wearing our gorgeous white gown as we swore to stay with eachother til death do us part.
