Chapter 15: Cheryl’s POV
I followed Kim as she stormed into her appartment, we had just been to an awards party and yet again it had ended in an argument. We were arguing more and more nowadays and as both of us were stubborn, we both refused to talk properly about the issue. She would ignore me and then it would probably lead into us shouting, screaming and yelling at eachother which would then eventually lead to us falling into bed and enjoying hot make up sex. We had been together for five months and I was head over heels in love but she couldn’t see that. She refused to believe that I was that in love with her because I was still refusing to tell the world about our relationship. This was what the constant fights were about. However this one felt different somehow.
‘Kimberley’ I yelled, ‘Please talk to me’ I begged. She stormed into the kitchen, slamming her bag onto the table before turning towards me. ‘What is there to talk about Cheryl, you refuse to hold my hand in public and you barely even acknowledge me, all because you are so sh!t scared that someone is going to know instantly that we are more than friends from just one look. For F***s Sake Cheryl, just go home’ Kim shouted. ‘What Kim, come on baby, Im sorry’ I offered pathetically. ‘Don’t baby me Cheryl, your appologies mean nothing anymore. I just think you should just go home and then we need a break’ Kim said sadly. ‘Kim what are you saying’ I whisper in defeat. ‘I don’t think that this is what you want and I just think that you obviously need time out from this relationship to figure out what it is you do actually want Chez’ Kim spoke calmly. ‘Just go’ she continued before gesturing towards the door. I continued to cry as I made my way out of her appartment. That time we were seperated for a month. I was always the one that left and Kim was always the one that chased me even though it was always me that should be begging for forgiveness.
‘Chez, you ok’ Nicola said, waving a hand in front of my face. Apparently I had lost myself in thought again, something that was happening all too often nowadays. ‘Yeah, sorry, what?’ I replied. ‘Where were you, I was talking to you’ Nicola laughed. ‘Oh sorry, I was in my own little world, whats up?’ I asked. ‘Its ok, so you gonna come back to mine tonight, we can catch up, have a drink’ Nic asked. Deep down I know she was only suggesting it because Kim didn’t want to talk to me so I couldn’t go there.
‘Sure’ I mumbled, allowing myself to have a quick glance over to Kimba who was in deep conversation with Nadine. I eventually took my eyes away from Kim and just stared at my hands which were in my lap. Well this is serious de ja vu I thought to myself. Once we had paid for the meal, I watched Kim as she grabbed her bag in one hand and Sarahs arm in the other, practically dragging her out of the restaurant. ‘Kimberley’ I yelled. Kim just carried on walking, ‘Please, can we talk’ I continued although I knew she wasn’t listening.’What’s there to talk about Cheryl’ She yelled back quickly before Jumping into the car and disapearing out of site.
I was eventually joined outside by Nicola and Nadine who both gave me sympathetic smiles before taking my hand and leading me to Nicola’s car. ‘I don’t need your pitty’ I snapped as I pulled my hands out of their grip and climbed into the back of the car. The drive was a silent one with me continuously looking at my phone every five seconds. ‘Chez, stop looking at your phone, it’s on loud, if you receive a text or call, you will hear it babe’ Nadine smiled sadly. I just turned to look out the window, finally allowing the tear to make its way slowly down my cheek. I stayed in that position for the rest of the journey.
When the car pulled into Nicola’s drive, I instantly got out and practically ran up the steps, not sure why though considering I still had to wait for Nicola to let me in. once the door was opened, I walked straight in and headed up to the room I was staying in whilst I was here, promptly slamming the door shut behind me. I flung myself face down onto the bed and burst into tears. Why is it that I always manage to mess things up. I seriously wanted to make a go of it this time and I even managed to mess that up. I could feel my depression coming back by the second. Maybe this was why me and Kimberley were better off apart. I was beginning to think I should just give up on us and go back to my life in America where things were much simpler.
Kara’s POV
We had arrived home about an hour go and were currently in Summers room figuring out what to wear for our night out. We had quite a few really nice items of clothing but this one dress really stood out for me. ‘Wow, Summer you look stunning in that’ I stated my opinion. ‘Really, so this is the one’ She replied, spinning around in a circle. ‘Deffinately’ I grinned. She kept the dress on and then burried through her shopping bags for the right pair of shoes. Whilst she was doing that, I slipped on my respective dress and shoes before looking through my jewellery box. I smiled a huge smile when I looked back up to see my sister looking back at me.
All the while, Taylor just lay on the bed, not interested and flicked through a magazine. ‘Whats up with you moody a**’ I asked. ‘Wasn’t aware you needed my help, I mean its all about Summer now isnt it?’ Taylor snapped back. ‘Shes my sister and I havnt seen her for ten years’ I stated, rolling my eyes at how ridiculous she was being. ‘Yeah exactly and ive been there every step of the way but I don’t mean anything to you anymore, not now that you’ve got your precious sister back’ Taylor yelled in responsae before flinging the magazine across the room. ‘Im going back to America, I don’t belong here’ she said before getting up off the bed and heading towards the door. ‘Well just f*** off and go then’ I screamed after her before flinging myself onto the bed in tears. All the time, Summer just stood there rooted to the spot. She was the same as mum, not liking confrontation and the exact opposite to me and mam.
Kim’s POV
I sat curled up on the sofa in the corner, it was dark and quiet apart from the talking going on in Summer’s room upstairs. Suddenly Taylor walked into the longe, I glanced up at her ‘You ok’ I asked. ‘Can I go back to the States please’ she asked. It was obvious that something was wrong. ‘Mmmmm sure, when’ I queried. ‘Like now’ she said sadly. ‘Are you ok, have you and Kara had an argument’ I replied. ‘Something like that, I just wanna leave, please’ she said, close to tears. ‘Ok’ I smiled slightly, ‘I’ll sort it’ I continued. ‘Thanks’ Taylor said before disappearing into the kitchen. I shut my eyes and breathed heavily whilst I tried to decide what to do about me and Cheryl. I loved her so much but was that enough, was I willing to wait around for her to decide when she was ready for the world to know again. It really felt like de ja vu although the world already knew she was a lesbian so why was she being like this.
Suddenly I heard my phone beeping from the table;
Cheryl: Can we talk, I want us to talk babe please
I sighed before going to type a reply.
I want us to talk too but we need to actually talk Cheryl because we usually just end up arguing and not talking about the real issue
My phone beeped again indicating a reply.
Cheryl: Will babe, I promise, we will talk properly, no arguments
I read the reply and sighed.
Ok, I’ll come over in about an hour and we will talk
I sighed as I sent the text, I wanted to talk, I really did but I really didn’t know what I expected her to say. For one, id heard it all before and all the times previous that wed sat down to talk, we never actually accomplished anything but then again I did love her and I did want to make a go of things. I just hope she feels the same way.
