Whispers in the Dark

Chapter 18: Shadows in the Dark

Whispers in the Dark

Chapter 18: Shadows in the Dark

Was it a promise I could keep?

No, of course not. For my entire life I've feared him, terrifying even the blood that runs through my body. The blood, that whenever he's around, makes my entire being become on edge. I've feared him for so long... there's no other emotion I want to give it. But, even now as he leans in on me, his lips pressed to mine, I want to say so badly that I'm still scared like I always have been... but maybe I'm not. Not anymore, at the least. Just maybe. But even if my fear for him has... possibly died down, I will not remain a weak, fragile person in front of him. I've gone my whole life being looked down upon by him ever since the day I met him, ever since I could remember. Both him and I know exceptionally well my character around him, for years now. But now that it's vanishing... I don't have to be such a weak girl anymore. Can I really change something that I'm not even sure I can change?

I raise my hands up from my sides, laying them against his chest as he pushes me harder against the wall. No... this is fake, only pretend. There's no such thing as the feelings he might have for me. I'm nothing but a helpless puppet, so there's no affection in him kissing me, no reason. And I'm afraid that if he kisses me for a single moment longer, I'll loose any sense to know perfectly well that he doesn't like me, that this kiss is empty and meaningless to him. I'll forget that this is absolutely fake and I'll want to close my eyes and pretend... but I can't. I will not be weak in front of Len anymore.

Without a second thought, I push him away from me, breaking both his fragile kiss and his grip around my shoulders. I stare at him, keeping my mouth closed and wait for him to react instead. I've never pushed him away before... and when I have, he's slapped me. Really, he sounds like an overly dominant and abusive boyfriend you'll find in a cliché teenage fan fiction - and, well, he is - only adding the fact that his past is completely restricted from me and that he's living a life of a hallucination. If I didn't know him like I do now, with years of him always being somewhere in my life, then I would probably understand where he comes from, his behavior -

"- A boy with a mysterious past, unknown to the oh so great protagonist, having no idea where he's come back from in his old life. But maybe, just maybe, his past had been so horrible and tragic that it has had a visible affect in his actions and behavior. Now living as a hallucination, maybe he's forgotten how to feel sympathy - and maybe that's why he's the way he is, why he's so cruel," Len slowly opens his eyes, his gaze drifting from my face, a small smirk cornering his lips. Finally, he glances up at me, putting his hands back down to his sides. "Is that what you're thinking?"

I stare at him, my eyebrows burying down in... confusion. I've known that once I stopped taking the pills that everything will slowly return to the way they were before, eventually giving Len access back to hearing my thoughts. But I didn't think they would return so quickly - I didn't even think that Len would appear as early on as he did - returning the same day I stopped taking the pills. I thought it would take at least a few days to clear completely out of my system. Then again, hallucinations aren't exactly a part of my physical body. It's all in my head. I suppose they don't exactly have the same... "rules".

He leans back, balancing on the balls of his feet before finally standing up in front of me. I bring my gaze to his face, his expression rather... bored. He buries his hands in his pockets before continuing, "No, I can't read all of your thoughts too clearly just yet. I only get bits and pieces of your voice - whispers, really. Only a small portion of that one came through." His blue gaze finally falls down onto me lying on the floor, his figure towering over mine. He smiles, only faintly, as his eyes meet mine, "And the fact that I guess I should've kissed you a little better. Maybe you wouldn't of pushed me away so early then." I can hear him faintly smirk before he walks away from me and towards the door, seeming to be more interested in the small hallway window looking out into the hallway, before I can hear the lock of the door bolt shut. I don't think much of him locking the door - I can't run away from him, anyway. The creamy yellow light graces upon his figure, lighting his shadow and making it fall at my feet, dancing across my toes. After a few moments of staring at his back, I get up myself up from the floor and walk over to my bed on the other side of the room, turning around and sit down on its tight, sharp edge. I place my hands in my lap, forcing myself to stare at the floor by my feet, but it's not until a few moments later that I find my gaze lifting to Len again.