Whispers in the Dark

Chapter 14: Drugged Blindness

Whispers in the Dark

Chapter 14: Drugged Blindness

Feeling the smooth plastic against my lips, I gently flick the container until I can feel two tasteless pills pop onto my tongue. Screwing the lid back on the small orange cylinder, I set it back down on my nightstand and reach over to the water glass lying next to it. As I lift the glass to greet my mouth, I take a large gulp of water and soon forget the feeling of the small pills slipping down my throat.

Instead of putting the glass of water back on the nightstand, I glance down at it and hold it between my palms, numbly watching as the small drops of water glide down to meet my fingers. Swallowing pills has become automatic for me. It's as if my body goes through the simple process on it's own without me giving a second thought about it, as if I'm a wind-up toy repeating the same dances over and over. Of course, it's reasonable since I've been doing it since childhood.

Sighing, I finally put the water where it was before and turn back to the pile of scattered textbooks and papers lying dully next to me on my unmade bed. Mom went to the school today and picked up everything I needed to make up the work I have been missing lately in my classes, which unfortunately happens to be a lot more than I thought. Picking up the pen that I dropped, I bring it to my lips and bite the end of it between my teeth.

It's been about a week since I last seen Gumi, or even any other of my usual hallucinations. Every once in a while, maybe one every few hours, will manifest for a few moments, but then it's gone just as fast as it came. Ever since Kaito gave me those pills about a week ago, the hallucinations I usually see everyday all started to slowly fade, one by one. The more pills I took, the more that escaped my sight. At first I was hesitant on whether or not these would actually work, since my previous one did a so-so job, but they actually kicked in a lot faster than I thought.

Almost too fast, even. I barely got to say goodbye to Gumi, since her voice at the time I just started taking them was already beginning to mute. By the time I realized how fast they started to work, Gumi was already just a blur. She happily accepted the fact that I wanted to take the pills to ease the hallucinations, even if it meant she could no longer talk to me for as long as I took them. She just shrugged, her gentle forest-green hair brushing against her shoulders as she lazily flicked her hand at me, motioning me not too worry about her.

As much as she tempted me to stop taking the pills all together so she wouldn't have to disappear from my sight, I just couldn't convince myself to stop, even for her.

Dropping the pen again, it makes a thudding sound as it hits one of the thick textbooks next to me and rolls off the page it fell on, coming down to lay against my thigh. I tilt my head back against the headboard behind me and close my eyes. I really wanted to refuse the pills so I wouldn't have to give up Gumi, I really did, but I rather have her gone from me than to have Len still remain by my side.

No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to forget the dark figure in Len's dull gaze a few night ago... or even if it was a figure at all. It was dark in the room after all; it could've been nothing and my eyes are just playing tricks on me. But even if I just imagined the figure I saw through Len's eyes, the thought that I can't seem to drop is his sudden harshness that cracked onto me, right before he would've kissed me. It all seemed so real before he snapped, all seemed as if he was finally softening. Perhaps it was all just an act to see how I would react to his lies before he finally stopped pretending, satisfied with my reaction. It is something he would do.

But why would he toy with me like that, so suddenly? It's as if it suddenly hit him to stop "pretending" and go back to normal, to go back to being his cruel and sadistic self. Both expressions he shared were so... real. The way he looked at me before he kissed me, well, seemed like he actually felt something for me, something more than a toy. Even if it was just a little.