I want to start off by saying, if you haven't lost someone very dear to you, do NOT make fun of a part of this chapter that you'll be reading. If you don't understand the feeling of losing someone so damn close to you, do not comment about being crazy for imagining someone, because I will be quick to end this story now. Js
xxxxxxxxxx
I Just Want A Beautiful Escape
"I'd like to sign you," Were the first words he said to me. "but as a solo artist."
To say I was stunned would be an understatement. The thought of going solo hadn't ever really crossed my mind much, mainly because I loved sharing the stage with three of my best mates. I suddenly became very aware that I accepted a "meeting" with another label owner and guilt was eating me alive, even if I hadn't given him an answer yet, it didn't make me feel any better. I knew that I this got out, simply that I was out with Charlie Walk of Republic Records, my best mate would not be happy with me at all. Then again, I didn't know what was going to happen anyways.
But then it hit me, the realization that being in a band won't last forever.
Emeli will probably end up having a family with James, Junie will want to be more independent and Franki will probably want to end up going solo himself. What do I honestly want to do? The thought of being a solo artist did excite me, that wasn't a lie at all. The thought of having music to myself, because it was my first true love, but then again that's the thing I loved so much about being in a band. We all had that in common, our love for music. So, was I really ready to be a solo artist?
I started this journey with Franki, Junie and Emeli and the three of us have always sworn that we'd go out of it all together. When one of us gave it up, we all would. But that was another thing. I don't think I'd ever give music up, not to anything, and if I did, the thought of something trumping over music, that was pretty impossible to me. Could I see myself singing alone on stage without them? Could I see myself going on tour alone? Could I see myself doing this all without them next to me? We've had four albums together now, including the one we are currently working on. Four world tours together. What would it be like to be on a world tour alone?
Then another thing hit me.
They haven't put much effort into our new album. It was Camila and I doing all the work, the writing, going to interviews, working on the album cover art, attending meetings, looking for collaborations, just about everything I have either done with Camila or I have done alone. There was only one song that I didn't work on and that was the song Camila and Emeli had done together. Junie has been so wrapped up with his daughter and Stas, Franki is too into partying lately and Emeli is about to get married. They we're all too into their own shit to put anything into this album that right now I felt like I was pretty much working on a solo album anyways.
So really, what would be the difference?
I'd be alone on tour and a lot of people would probably hate me for it, but they also don't know what goes on behind closed doors. No one knows that all my time is spent with Camila because she's the only one calling me on wanting to work on the album. No one knows that Junie and Franki haven't once been to one of the writing sessions we've had and no one knows what the hell Emeli plans on doing once her and James are married. I know James, I know he wants a family. Would Hopelessly Devoted be over after this album comes out and our tour for it is over? Do I need to begin thinking about my own future, being apart from theirs?
