Leave Mary Jane Alone

Chapter 26.

I wanted to tell Oliver to sit his ass down. I also wanted to tell him to leave like the man asked for just a second. I wanted to know what Mr. Helling would say really and if Oliver was blocking that then Oliver would have to just get over it for just a second and leave. I grabbed his forearm lightly seeing as I didn't want him to blow up. Today I wouldn't be able to handle it.

"Oliver, please? It's only for a second. Some things are private right?" I asked. Really I just hoped he'd listen because the man was stubborn.

"You know what? Yeah Mary Jane. I'll be right over here okay?" He suddenly dropped the anger he was feeling which almost shocked me and apparently my therapist too.

"Yeah, he confuses me that way too." I told the therapist who continued to stare at Oliver for a second. I didn't feel threatened by him, but I didn't want him staring at Oliver. "What was it that you wanted to discuss?" I had to force myself to be straightforward that much. Hell I had to force myself to talk.

"I'm going to ask you some questions and I'm going to need the truth from you. Has anyone ever hit you?" He was he was hesitant about such an inquiry. I choked on nothing. I chocked at hit. How was I supposed to answer this?

"Yes Mr. Helling. My mom's other side used to hit me when I didn't know what was going on and I would let her because I thought it was better than her hitting herself on something. And yes she is the one who is paying for my therapy for my problems that originated with her."

I just couldn't bring myself to say that. Sometimes I talked to much. Instantly before I could even stop myself I was thinking about the death of my dad and how I played a part by running my big mouth. I wouldn't do it again. I wouldn't.

"I fought Oliver's step sister a month ago and this girl at school too. Two victories in my eyes." I tried to get out from under the rock of dread that was squishing me.

He chuckled but I'm pretty sure it was because he knew I needed him to. I felt like he just knew some things. Then he asked about why I stopped talking and I requested that, that conversation be pushed back. He asked if I had any major regrets that no one else should know. That was something I couldn't tell him so I told him that I didn't have. I did. I had so many damn regrets that they twirled around in my head like a pretty tornado refusing to be ignored. Yet I ignored them as best I could.

"In what ways do you depend on Oliver?" He asked in a hushed voice. My eyes flicked over to the man in questions to make sure he wouldn't hear this.

"If it were up to me I wouldn't be dependent on anyone, but shit hits the fan and now I'm stuck. Sometimes I'm not as strong as I wish I was. Oliver is strong mentally and physically and emotionally to the point where I'm jealous. I can't be that way. So I depend on him, but believe me I'm trying to stop. It's not healthy is it?"

Mr. Helling shook his head like I expected. I knew this already but this was the truth for the moment. Not letting him help me every step of the way with everything he could was going to be hard but being independent was important to me.

"Oliver can come back over if you want. I've made a few notes and I think every two sessions I'll give them to you guys." I nodded and turned to face Oliver. There was a girl currently talking to him so I watched for a second before swiveling back to face Mr. Helling. I wanted him to gesture to me and explain shortly that he was busy and that this was important to him because it was important to me. I had to remind myself that he was not mine to get territorial over.

"He seems to be busy, so we can just chat. Can you tell me something interesting?" I asked. I loved hearing about something other than my own shit life. During school no one talked to me and I talked to no one. Jackson bored me honestly, but I was being polite and now I realized that.