As Much As I Love You (Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter 12

Light was the first thing I noticed. Bright light blinding my view. I blinked several times, and after a while my eyes slowly got used to it. My gaze searched the unfamilliar area. Where the hell was I?

Everything was white, the floor, the walls, the ceiling. In fact, it was all so white that I couldn't tell what was what. I searched the area with my gaze once again. Nothing. Just white, white and even more white. 

I started walking. But I have no idea where. A thought ran through my head that I should be scared, but I was surprisingly calm. I kept walking, until I saw a little boy sitting on what it seemed to be a white bench. He was sitting with the back towards me, but I could see that he was about 7 years old because of his petite body. 

"Hello sweetie" I yelled out. The boy sat still. That's odd.. maybe he didn't hear me? "Can you please tell me where I am?" No reaction. He didn't move a muscle. I swallowed before I started walking towards him. When I stood right behind him I put my hand on his shoulder and he slowly turned around and I gasped! The boy had blonde, curly hair and ice cold, blue eyes.

Carson's little brother. 

Todd. 

The child I killed.

The sight of him made my throat tighten, threatning sobs surfaced. I don't understand. Todd is dead. So why can I see him? 

His eyes was locked into mine. I don't know how long we stared at each other. I tried not to cry. Pictures flashed by my eyes, pictures of Todd's terrified look when he saw me and Carson making out, pictures of him running up the stairs and slamming his door shut, pictures of me trying to comfort him and pictures of him laying on the ground, screaming as the flames slowly covered his petite body. 

I snapped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, facing a man in his early 50's. He had brown short hair, hazel eyes and he was wearing a grey suit. I yelped when I realized who it was.

"D-d-dad?" I stuttered, my voice barely hearable. 

"Hello Grace" he answered. A smile spread across his mouth and I quickly wrapped my arms around him. Tears not threatning to spill anymore because now they were already spilled. I felt his arms around my waist and I sobbed, leaving tearstains on his grey jacket.

"I'm so confused dad, where am I?" I whispered against his chest. His hand rubbing circles around my back for comfort.

"Where do you think you are?" Dad's voice was steady and calm. Just as I remembered it.

He released me from the hug and his light brown eyes met mine. "Look around Grace" he said and I obeyed. Once again I let my gaze search the area. Todd was gone, and now a wooden door appeared right in front of us.

"What's behind the door?" I asked, looking up at dad again.  

He smiled, "Whatever you want it to be"

I laughed, thinking that he was only joking. But after a while I realized he was not. I stopped laughing and looked at the door again. "Whatever you want it to be" dad's voice echoed in my head. 

I placed my hand on the doorknob and slowly opened the door. I gave dad a quick glance over my shoulder before I entered the door. 

The air felt cool against my body. I searched through the area, taking in every single detail. Giant trees reaching up to the sky, the sunshine tickling my exposing skin. The scent of flowers filling up my nostriles as I walked throught the beautiful willow. I let out a chuckle when I realized this is the place dad used to take me every weekend when I was a kid. We used to bring a picnic basket with us and play hide and seek and soccer. Sometimes, we were just laying their, amongst the colorful flowers, looking up the sky.