Love Metamorphosis

Chapter 4

She was not ready to say goodbye.

The room was packed with every person that knew, worked with, or life was touched by Jeffrey Chapman. That alone was nearly enough to send Jemma into the bathroom crying, the love that filled the room was overflowing and it washed over her like a wave. When she stepped into the room everyone turned their heads to look at Jemma, because she was the one they had been waiting for.

Mika Chapman pushed her way through the crowd, her face set in grief and love. She wrapped her arms around Jemma with such force that she wasn't sure who his mother was trying to comfort, Jemma or herself. She patted her back and greeted her. Pushing the black polka dotted netting from her face she kissed Mika's cheek.

"He loved you so much." Mika all but wailed finally releasing her only to pat her cheek lovingly.

"As I loved him." Jemma said hastily pulling a tissue from her purse, paused when she saw the black marks. She quickly remembered it was from earlier on the train and dabbed her eyes to stop the fresh onslaught of tears.

"Come, let's start the ceremony." Mika said leading her over to the front seat. Jemma started crying, she couldn't help it. The last time she had been in a church was 5 days ago and that had been for their wedding. It only seemed fitting to have his funeral here.

She had gone from a white dress to mourning clothes so quickly it was still a little surreal to her. Suddenly being in a church and him not being next to her made him seem really gone. It made her feel completely alone. Her heart was breaking all over again and she had to cover her mouth to stifle the sobs.

"I am so sorry." Jemma muttered as Mika pulled her into a comforting shoulder, "I thought I had run out of tears."

"No one expects you to stay strong. Jeff loved how strong you were. How independent and willful but thoughtful you are. He spoke of you so often by the time we actually met I knew you were going to be part of our family." Mika's voice was even and but it had undertones of emotion that was just below the surface.

She straightened and smiled, "Thank you."

"No, thank you," Mike put a hand to her cheek, "For loving our son so much."

They turned to the front as the reverend came up to the front of the podium. Taking hold of Mika's hand on one side and her father's on the other she held on for dear life. She felt every word, every person who spoke such wonderful stories. She was holding on to Jeff and realized he was still with her. Everyone always gave her an understand nod of how much she had been to him and respect for that love.

Swallowing hard Jemma stood on shaky legs and walked up the two steps to the microphone. She stared out into the faces of all those dear to her and her husband-that-should-have-been, taking them all in. Some she knew and others she would have to meet, because she wanted to know every person that Jeff had known. It kept him more alive in her heart. If they remembered then how could she forget? How could she move on?

"Jeff was one of the strongest people I ever knew; he touched so many lives in such a positive way. I was lucky to be the woman he loved, every day with him was another day of happiness and now that he is gone I am sure you feel like a bit of joy has gone from the world. I know that is exactly how I feel. I don't want you to think of him as he is now or how he left us, I want you to remember that moment in your life when you were happiest with him, the moment when you laughed the most or when you were in awe. That is the Jeff that lives on inside of me and that is what he would want everyone to remember." Jemma squared her shoulders and made a dignified walk back to her seat when all she wanted to do was run away and hide under the covers. At least she would give him the poise of a woman who loved him and the manner in which he deserved to be remembered.

That was the least she could do. Her eyes wondered to his smiling picture. She forgot everything as she lost herself in that smile and the happy memories.

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