Love Metamorphosis

Chapter 22

                  

The music engulfed her, swallowed her whole in its all intrusive beats, harmonies, and underlying techno thud. Candice sat next to her at the bar, wearing a please-flirt-with-me mini skirt and a white halter-top that showed off her very feminine back. Jemma wore jeans, a strapless turtle neck that tied at the back of the neck and had a gaping open back.

They each wore a black and white hooped earring, so that when they stood together one color was on the inside and one was on the outside. It was an old trick. If you took off the white one you needed to be saved, but if you took off the black one you were going home with someone else that night. Candice almost always used the black and Jemma almost always used the white.

They had worn them out of habit more than anything; a remembrance to the old days. Jemma swayed slightly to the music, the electronic beats were always her favorite. She was not a fan of rap like Candice. Then again there were many things her friend preferred that Jemma did not. Candice set her drink on the bar, not a lick of alcohol remained in the glass as she pulled Jemma to the dance floor.

Her body moved freely, it felt as though all earthly cages that bound her to sorrow were released in the heat of the dance. The stench of sweat hardly bothered her and the tightly packed crowd didn't hesitate to accept them as one of its own. She lost herself to this modern method of self-expression; while she was lost in the maze of her own soul.

After Jeff, much to Candice's dissatisfaction, Jemma had stopping coming to dance clubs and bars. She no longer had a need to express herself in that way, she wasn't single and she wasn't interested in cheating. The object of going to hook up places no longer applied to her and she had been happy to let them go.

Now trapped in the sweaty, vulgar dancing bodies of those almost a decade her junior she was born again. She was no longer engaged, she was as everyone else was, in search of that perfect mate, the one to complete your soul. Jemma's heart was empty of such desires, but she wanted to remember the feeling.

Eric's face appeared in her mind and she stopped, her entire being was shocked as her heart out-maneuvered her mind. Her standstill caused everyone else around her to sway into her space, she a point of static among chaos. A hand went to her mouth, was he a convenient replacement or did she care for him for himself?

She was startled out of her thoughts by Candice's hand on her arm, and when she looked up a very worried face. Jemma smiled impulsively wishing only to reassure her friend, it was high time everyone didn't jump around her. She began to dance again, feeling the beat move in her and through her.

Her mind was no longer in it, she moved and swayed with the beat subconsciously, she thought only of Jeff and of Eric. Would Jeff forgive her for finding someone so soon after losing him? He had always said that marrying a firefighter was risky business and that should he die, she should remarry. She had laughed it off saying he would be with her forever, nothing could separate them. She had been so wrong and now she was without a guide. Was she to listen to her broken heart and seek comfort in another's arms?

She immediately regretted the thought, Eric deserved better than that, and she shook her head at herself. A useless gesture but it made her self-censure more effective. It was useless to consider that she may possibly care for him on a deeper level without a mutual wish from him. She was going to see her brother in a few weeks and some time away from him would make her see exactly how she felt.

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