The Truth

eight

For the first time in years, waking up next to him didn't make me smile. All I did was cry silently. How much longer do I get to have that feeling? And can I let go of that? The first night I ever slept next to him was about six months after we met. We were staying in a hotel that was overbooked due to a snowstorm that kept a lot of commuters in the city. It was in Portland. The only room left was a room with one double bed, and Niall and I got assigned as roommates that night. The others were sent to a hotel across town, along with the crew. He offered to sleep on the love seat, which if it had been six months earlier, I would have accepted that. But I was comfortable around Niall. So he and I spent the night on the very small bed, huddled close together because of the cold. The next morning I woke up in his arms. It was the best feeling in the world. I don't know that I can let go of it.

The rumbling of my stomach rips me from my thoughts, and I run to the bathroom. In the process of emptying what little I had in my stomach, Niall came into the bathroom and held my hair back from me. Hangovers and morning sickness don't really mix, I suppose. I feel awful.

"Let me take your temperature," Niall says once I'm done.

"Babe, I'm fine. Let's just go back to sleep. We've only been asleep three hours," I say sleepily. He ignores my protests and searches through the medicine cabinet. I pull myself off the bathroom floor and back into bed. He comes to me, holding the thermometer. "Niall-" He cuts me off by putting the glass thermometer between my lips.

"Can I tell you something?" he asks, slowly. This must be it. This is where it all ends. I nod in response. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I think it's time that we-" His dumping speech is cut short by knocking on the bedroom door. A very sleepy Louis stumbles into the room.

"Ali, if you don't make Liam's soup, I'm going to set myself on fire," Louis sighed. "He's been bugging me about it since last night."

I pull the thermometer out and lay it on the nightstand. "Louis, it's early, and I have my appointment soon. Tell him I'll make it for lunch," I sigh. "I have to get ready."

"Do you want me to drive you? You seem pretty out of it," Niall offers. I respond a little to quickly. He probably knows that something is wrong. "It's no problem."

"It's a visit with the lady doctor,"I lie. "Kind of personal."

"Well, you're sick, so I don't think you should be driving alone. I could just drop you off and run a few errands while you're there?" he says. There's no way I'm getting out of this one. I finally agree, and start getting ready. I opt against showering and just tuck my hair under a beanie instead. Niall waits anxiously since he only takes ten minutes to get ready when he doesn't fix his hair. 

"So while I'm at the doctor, I need you to get me a few things," I say as we leave our bedroom. "I'll text you a list."

"Like food and stuff?" he asks.

"No, no," I say. "I'm running low on some beauty products. If you just go to Sephora at the mall and show them the list, they should be able to get you everything," I reply. 

"You want me to go to a makeup store?" he asks. "I know nothing about it."

"Which is why when you go in, find a clerk, and show her the list. She'll even gift wrap it if you ask. Nothing to difficult," I say. So maybe I'm sending him there just to make sure I have time. Once he drops me off, I'll have to catch a cab to my other doctor's since it's too cold to walk. Then I have to get a cab back. 

The drive to the doctor's is silent except for the radio playing quietly in the background. He makes it to the wrong office in under fifteen minutes thankfully. Rush hour isn't until eight, so the traffic is bad at all. He kisses be goodbye and tells me he loves me.  I couldn't respond this time. Once he pulled out of the lot, I walked to the sidewalk and flagged down a cab.