The Truth

twelve

When I woke up the next morning, Niall was still fast asleep. Instead of waking him, I opted for making him a special breakfast. It was early so no one else was up yet. I couldn't help but smile as I remembered the previous night. I hardly slept as my mind was buzzing with excitement. Niall and I could have a family. He asked me to stay. Today would be the day I would tell him. 

As the bacon sizzled in the pan, I hummed lyrics to myself. I caught myself daydreaming about our future together. I pictured Niall and our son playing soccer in the backyard. I was sitting on the back porch reading and smiling up at them. I imagined a future where I'm happy. I believed that's worth the chance I was about to take.

The stairs creaked from the hallway, pulling me back down to Earth, but I couldn't help but keep smiling. "Ali?" a sleepy Louis asked. "What are you doing here? Why do you look so happy?"

"Because it's a great day, Louis," I replied happily. "Sit down, I'll make you some pancakes." He sat at the island and laid his head down, yawning. 

"So are you back?" he asked when I sat the plate in front of him. "For good?"

"I think so, Louis," I reply. "After last night, I think we can work things out."

"What happened last night?" he asked. "And don't spare any horny details. This is girl talk."

"Well, he cried. I cried. He asked me to stay, so we just held each other all night," I explained. "It was like before."

"I really hope things work out for the best," he replied. "Although I was excepting more than crying. I was expecting passionate love making. Maybe some light bdsm."

"You watch too much porn, Lou," I chuckled.

"I live on a tour bus with four other guys, and I have a girlfriend in college who can't follow me on tour," he whined. "It gets lonely."

"I didn't just follow you guys on tour like a lost puppy," I protested. "They had me help with makeup, and I was your personal assistant for a while."

"And you were the worst PA I've ever had," he replied, taking a bite of his food. "These are amazing by the way. If you were half as good an assistant as you are a cook, I'd hire you for the next tour."

"No thank. I'll stick with the cafe. I'm thinking of even going back to school," I replied. 

"Why the big change? I didn't think you'd ever want to go back," Louis replied. He had already finished his food. I couldn't help but chuckle at his appetite.

"Well, maybe it's time for a change. Things are changing, and it's time for me to grow up," I explained. Footsteps falling down the stairs in procession interrupt, and I turned back to the stove to flip the bacon.

"Ali? You're here? And making breakfast?" Liam asked as he entered the kitchen.

"Smells great," Harry smiled, and I handed him a plate. "Thanks babe."

"You made breakfast," a voice said from outside the kitchen. Our little group turned to see a red faced Niall rubbing at his puffy eyes. "I didn't know if you'd be here still."

"Why don't we eat outside?" Zayn suggested. "We don't use the patio enough." The four boys gathered their food as Niall and I avoided eye contact with each other. Once they were outside, I wondered if I should speak first.

"Why did you stay?" he asked hesitantly. "When I woke up and you were gone..."

"You asked me to stay," I replied. "I got up early and wanted to cook."

"We have to talk about this. You got wasted, and then you were in the hospital for alcohol poisoning," he said. "What is going on with you?"

I hesitated to answer. It wasn't how I wanted to tell him about our baby. "I relapsed. It's going to happen sometimes in my life. I'm always going to be an addict. No amount of therapy or meds or love is going to take that away from me."

"Ali, I love you, but I can't just stand by and see you destroy yourself! Not again," he shouted. "How do I know you won't just get restless again?"

"You don't. I don't know either. So you can choose to have faith in me and in us, or I can leave. It's your choice," I replied.

"I just need time to think," he replied. "You can have our room today. I'm going to the golf course." He walked away and started walking up the stairs. I took off after him, leaving my cooking behind.

"No! You are not going to do this! You can't just walk away from me and tell me you need to think! This isn't deciding whether or not you're gonna dye your hair. This is us! Ali and Niall," I shouted, walking up the stairs behind him. I stopped walking once I reached the stair below where he was standing. 

"It isn't fair of you to push this on me," he replied. "Ultimatums are something people make when they're desperate and selfish. It's not something you do to someone you love."

"Okay," I reply calmly. "You go golfing." 

He nodded silently and walked out the front door. The moment his car started, I darted up the stairs and slammed the bedroom door behind me. I took out a crumpled piece of paper, turned it over to the blank side and began to write. 

Once my sentiment was copied down, I placed it on my side of the bed and placed my phone on top of it. Once that was done, I grabbed my things I had brought and snuck out of the house to avoid a confrontation with the other boys. With naught but a twenty and some lip balm in my pocket, I took off walking to the nearest bus stop, starting my journey back home. I was ready to take that risky third option. Here's to taking chances.

*Niall's p.o.v.*

Golfing is usually a great way to unwind. That day it was nothing but another nuisance, so I left midgame. The drive home, all I could think of was the way Ali looked in that hospital bed. I feared that she would start down the same path of self destruction she was on when we met. I didn't know if I could just sit back and let that happen once again. 

When I got back to the house, things were strange. Only one of the boys' cars were still there, which was unusual for the days leading up to a tour. We usually spent as much time at home as possible. I walked inside to see Louis pacing through the living room, talking on his phone.

"She hasn't called you either?" he asked frantically. He stopped suddenly when he saw me standing there. "I'll call you back."

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"She's gone," he replied. "We came back in, and she was gone. She left this," he said holding a piece of paper and her phone. "Read it."

'Niall, 

       I'm sorry to do this, but it's just something I have to do. I'm going home- to Tennessee. I need to leave this life behind. This was a dream, and nothing more. Please do not try to find me. By the time you read this, I'll have deactivated any accounts in my name. I'm starting over. I love you. -Alexia