The Truth

fifteen

When I finally checked my phone again, I noticed a handful of notifications, but I was looking for a specific one: a follow from Harry. It was there, and he had messaged me. I sat staring at my phone for what seemed like hours before finally opening the message.

@Harry_Styles: this is a bit of surprise thought you hated twitter

@AliRae: I do, but I needed to talk to you. I want to be honest about Riley. Can you meet me for dinner?

@Harry_Styles: don't you think you should tell Niall first

@AliRae: Baby steps, okay? I need to get it out into the open. I do want to tell him. I just want to tell you first.

@Harry_Styles: okay meet me in hyde park i'll grab us something to eat

After our meeting is set, I spent the next three hours pacing through the apartment. A dozen scenarios race through my mind. From him lashing out, to not even showing, I play through almost every conceivable outcome of events. My first instinct is to take something or pour a drink. I haven't had a drop since that night after I walked out of my abortion. Instead, I went ahead and followed my doctor's advice. About an hour after taking more of my meds, my nerves had started to calm. My heart wasn't beating quite as hard.

"I'm home!" Charlie called. I walked out of the bedroom to meet him in the living room. "You look like hell."

"I'm going to meet Harry," I replied nervously. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Please watch Riley for me. I won't be gone long."

"I don't think this is a good idea," he sighs as I reach for my keys. He grabs my keys off the counter before I can reach them. "Please just think about this."

"I have. And this is the right thing to do," I reply, trying to grab my keys. "Give me my keys, Charlie. Now."

"Here," he scoffs and hands the keys over. "Screw up your own life."

"I'm not doing this for me," I say quietly. "I am doing this for my son. My son who you seem to forget isn't yours sometimes."

"I love and care about him," Charlie replies angrily, calling Riley's attention away from the tv.

"Riley!" I call. "Go in your room and put on your shoes. You're going to go with Mommy, okay sweetie?"

"Okay, Mommy," Riley replies and walks into his room. He was still wearing his onesie, but I didn't care. I began to lose my patience. "Okay, sweetie? Forget the shoes. You can just stay in the stroller." I start to walk to Riley's room to pick him up, but Charlie grabs onto my arm.

"Don't do this," he pleads.

"Charlie, stop it!" I whisper angrily. "I'm not fucking around about this. I know what it's like to grow up without knowing my father, and so do you. How can I condemn my child to that same life?" He releases my arms and stops making eye contact. "I won't be coming home tonight. Riley and I can get a hotel."

"He won't sleep and you know it," Charlie says a bit more softly than his previous tone. "I'm sorry, Wizard. You're right. Even a shitty relationship with my father would have been better than nothing. I'll take care of Riley tonight. Take your time."

"Thank you," I smile. He pulls me in for a hug, holding me tightly. "I would have married you in another life you know?"

"I know. Now please brush your hair before you leave," Charlie chuckles. "And put on some semblance of a disguise. You're meeting your famous ex's best friend in a very public place. Don't risk being recognized just yet."